PRIVATE MESSAGE FROM A 'FRIEND' ON HERE

sandown12

deleted

CJK1959

bump

sisswright

wow, I see your frustration... venting is good for the soul

Laura_Ivy

I think maybe she was taking the tough love approach? But ,I would never go there with another person because we are all entitled to having low days where we feel like **** and want to say **** it! I hope your day goes better chick and just let it roll off your shoulders,it's not worth your energy or time.

Smuterella

I think that is a supportive message, personally.

beduffbrickie

seem harsh, but I dont know all the facts, are you a winer/moaner on your updates on here? and thats why they sent you that? did they offer a lot of support and tips?

DENISESCHRADE

Now that is a REAL friend - you should be happy someone can be so honest with you.

boomboom011

well you have 2 choices, be pissed off at the audacity of this person or appreciate the "support" and move on.

AmberJslimsAWAY

*delete*

Now that is a REAL friend - you should be happy someone can be so honest with you.

And no That's not a real friend. We are here to encourage, not to tear down becuase someone has a less than chipper attitude. We are human, and we all have lives beyond this site. Sometimes it gets in the way and clouds our emotions.

fionarama

i actually think its a very supportive message. One that was private also I might add, so not really fair to broadcast it when this person clearly genuinely wants to help you.

hope516

I'm sorry I couldn't read it all...it bored me. Some people believe in tough love. But unless you and I are really good freinds you shouldn't speak to me like that. Just delete them and move on....

infamousmk

I'm really confused as to why you posted this, and whether or not it was a good thing or a bad thing in your eyes.....Did you delete her or are you just going to wait for her to see this and delete you?

Jena_72

I think it was great advice and came from a supportive place in that friends heart.
I am a faithful watcher of The Biggest Loser and those words are no different than any trainer on the show, has muttered over and over. Sometimes it just needs to be said. If the person who sent you that is reading this FRIEND ME! I Your Advice!
OP: Good Luck on your journey! :flowerforyou:

Sl1ghtly

I think you should clarify your opinion of support.

Bronx_Montgomery

I look at it differently. Its more like tough love. You have someone who you never met before that cares about you and is actually taking time to help you out. Yeah there will be times we hear things that we do not want to hear but sometimes we need someone to talk to us like that to say....you know what? I can do this! I can stop making excuses! I Am great and I will get healthy no matter what.

I think too many of us are brought up to say....oh its ok because I have this going on instead of saying you know what. Im not going to let this be an obstacle in my life. Its a hurdle I can overcome and when I do im going to be great. We all have issues in our lives. The ones that succeed are the ones that take a breather....realize the situation and finds the solution and handles their business.

mgmlap

I do think its supportive...sometimes you need those to commiserate with you..and others to give you a quick kick in the *kitten*...We all have a sprinkling of both in our friends list...And I do think for newbies..its important for friends to support you with encouragement as well as tell you get stop moaning and go move...

sweetrice12

Now that is a REAL friend - you should be happy someone can be so honest with you.

agreed

Miss♥Ivi

I don't know about you but I think she's being pretty supportive. I would most likely thank that person for sending me that message. I'd want more people like her around. I rather someone be harsh and to the point with me, than sugar coating things. I don't think she meant any harm by it. On the contrary, she seems like she wants what's best for you. And nowadays, it's hard to find people like that.

ceejay3101

It appears to me this was meant to be in a good sense, we cant see what it is in answer to, e.g what your comment was that she replied to. So no one can judge what she says, tough love, maybe even good advice meant to motivate you? Its hard to tell not knowing both sides of the story.

0PhAtDaDdY

Great Advice...

rml_16

I have to assume that even if you aren't saying what's going on in your life, you're writing SOMETHING on your profile that prompted your friend to write that.

It reads to me as someone who cares about your success who's trying to get through to you. I don't see anything wrong with it at all unless it just came totally out of left field. But it sure sounds like your friend is reacting to something you're putting "out there."

JoJoDoerr

All I can say is "WOW"! Maybe the intentions were good?....but I would definitely un-friend and move on!

A wise man once said "we judge in others what we are most afraid of in ourselves" - sounds like she/he is fighting some demons of her/his own!

Angie80281

While there are certainly nicer ways to convey the message, I think your friend meant well. Unfortunately, tough love can be taken out of context and is probably best reserved for those people we actually know rather than online friends. She makes some good points, but that doesn't mean you're not entitled to bad days. Obviously, I can't judge her comments about you as we aren't friends and I don't see your posts. I really do think she had good intentions, but she should've asked if you were ok or needed support before she tore you down like that.

neversettle

I think that is a supportive message, personally.

Now that is a REAL friend - you should be happy someone can be so honest with you.

Couldn't agree more.

bellevie23

Yeah..although her intentions seem well, life isn't all fluffy clouds and rainbows, so for someone to assume someone should be optimistic everyday, well that will leave them with very few friends or quite a few fake ones. I am going through a divorce right now and I feel so overwhelmed most days, if I am positive, it is me faking it and that is only because I have 3 kids depending on me to hold myself together, so if she doesn't want to hear you on your bad days she doesn't deserve you on your good ones. Sorry, Id be annoyed to by that message. Hope things get better for you! *hugs*

MrsCon40

I think that is a supportive message, personally.

Me too.

sandown12

I dont winge and moan I asked for help yesterday as I only lost 0.5lbs and was 100% on plan ans all I put today was I feel I wish I was at goal
If thats winging and you think this is support then I know Im in the wrong place.
No she doesnt offer support

Bikini27

Wow. That...well, love, I cannot speak for that person or where they are coming from.

I can say that you may friend me and whatever you do to lose weight in a healthy effective way will be applauded because we all start at different places.

Keep kicking @$$ and don't let the haters bring you down, not matter how "nice" they are being by telling you that you aren't working hard enough.

elly68

sounds like personal trainer talk ,or a 30 day shred talk .do you know this person i would like to befriend her as i could do with a kick up the *kitten* .
have to say if this is a friend outside of mfp i wouldnt be best pleased however if they are from just here and your'e not happy delete and move on .

asudheimer

Different people need different types of support, maybe you were looking for someone to back you up and validate how you feel and tell you it's ok, and he/she is the type of person who prefers a direct approach and to be brutally honest. I don't have you on my friends list or know what most of your posts are like, but there are a few people in my life that I have to be that kind of brutally honest with because they lie to themselves and need the reality check. I would much rather have someone tell me the truth even if it stings than to sugar-coat it for my feelings, that doesn't help, the cold hard truth does motivate some people. Hopefully you have other friends on here and in your personal life that can fill the void of the support you are looking for.

cds2001

Did you unfriend her? Did you reply back?

Since being on here I've been unfriended by a good number of people. Not sure why though. It did take me 5 months to finally get serious. But, that was my path. I've seen it several times on here -- people who are successful and seemingly is easy for them to lose and stick with it and can come off as high and mighty. But they fail to remember their starting points and detours along the way. Every person is different. What they may be going through in their personal lives can have a direct effect on weight loss journey. I think that person falls into the category of people I mentioned above. One day when she's down on her luck and needs support hopefully she will have better friends on here than she decided to be when she messaged you.

I myself have never deleted any friend I've added. To me that's not what this is all about. But some people need to see you killing yourself and then there are those that need a constant ra-ra cheerleading section. The times people have deleted me I can only figure they didn't think I was losing fast enough or coddling them 24/7. Who knows?!

Feel free to add me. I consider myself to be supportive and understanding.