Leap Day Let Down

mandygal13

So, today being Leap Day, I got up the courage to ask a man out - we met a few months ago, flirted a little, blah blah. He told me he was seeing someone else. I was disappointed and embarrassed, but still wish him luck. He's a really nice guy...

SO, guys - was this a dumb move? If things don't work out with this current lady, do you think he would look me up, or am I toast having been rejected this time?

SO, guys - anyone looking for a date? :laugh:

LilysMom28

aww i'm sorry that happened! I don't think it was a dumb move though...you never know until you try. And good for you for putting yourself out there! Thats a tough move all on its own!! You are braver than me Hang in there...someone even better will come along!!

mgmlap

Kudos to you for putting yourself out there..You wouldn't have known unless you did..You should just brush yourself off...and move on...

KJVBear33

Wish I had the strength to put myself out there with a cute guy..........wish I had the strength to FIND said cute guy.........I am more old fashioned when it comes to this stuff. I like to try to find someone through a friend..........problem is, only one really great friend.........*sigh*

I don't NEED someone in my life..........I'd LIKE to have someone in my life like that.........

At any rate, major major props to you my dear OP........

Rogiefreida

Fearless! Major props to you girl for having the guts to ask him. If you don't ask, the answer is always no.

And you just never know what may happen in the future. Maybe he just doesn't know what he's missing out on.

lmcenin

Good for you! Every guy I ever met says they love to get asked out by women. As long as you do it with sincerity and handle the rejection (for lack of a better word) with class, you are gold for a future date if there is any interest.

poustotah

Good for you!!! And I don't think you should be embarrassed at all. It takes a lot of guts to ask someone out!

HauteP1nk

Kudos to you!!!

You're assertive and confident...that is very sexy and I have no doubt that in time the right guy will come along and snatch you up!

Chairless

nothing ventured nothing gained, shouldnt be a leap year thing though!

Kasia1974

Yes, I think if it doesn't work out with the other person, at least now he knows you are interested and there's a much better chance of him looking you up in the future. In my experience, I've noticed men in general are clueless, lol. In some cases, they take professional courtesy as "flirting" and in other scenarios they don't get the real flirting at all. So at least now he knows, right?

LordBezoar

I can honestly say that I probably would not be married to my wonderful wife if she had not made the first move. As a younger man, I was clueless. So huge congratulations on putting yourself out there. Also, I wouldn't say you are toast. Is this someone that you see on a regular basis? If it is, try not to change your behavior toward him--in other words, keep talking to him.

Chairless

Yes, I think if it doesn't work out with the other person, at least now he knows you are interested and there's a much better chance of him looking you up in the future. In my experience, I've noticed men in general are clueless, lol. In some cases, they take professional courtesy as "flirting" and in other scenarios they don't get the real flirting at all. So at least now he knows, right?

quote for truth. we have no clue, at all.

mandygal13

Good for you!!! And I don't think you should be embarrassed at all. It takes a lot of guts to ask someone out!

I honestly have a new respect for the guys - it's hard! How do they do it ALL the time?!?

mandygal13

Yes, I think if it doesn't work out with the other person, at least now he knows you are interested and there's a much better chance of him looking you up in the future. In my experience, I've noticed men in general are clueless, lol. In some cases, they take professional courtesy as "flirting" and in other scenarios they don't get the real flirting at all. So at least now he knows, right?

quote for truth. we have no clue, at all.

Thanks for the honesty! :laugh:

mandygal13

I can honestly say that I probably would not be married to my wonderful wife if she had not made the first move. As a younger man, I was clueless. So huge congratulations on putting yourself out there. Also, I wouldn't say you are toast. Is this someone that you see on a regular basis? If it is, try not to change your behavior toward him--in other words, keep talking to him.

We may run into each other now and then, but not a 'regular' seeing each other. I wished him luck and left it at that...hopefully that was good!

Dayna154

Kudos to you for having the guts to ask this guy out.
Dont sweat it that he is all ready seeing someone. You two werent meant to be. There is someone out there that will be a better match for you.

mandygal13

Wish I had the strength to put myself out there with a cute guy..........wish I had the strength to FIND said cute guy.........I am more old fashioned when it comes to this stuff. I like to try to find someone through a friend..........problem is, only one really great friend.........*sigh*

I don't NEED someone in my life..........I'd LIKE to have someone in my life like that.........

At any rate, major major props to you my dear OP........

Thanks on the props...it is hard to find a man my age who has all the qualities I'm looking for. Like you, I don't feel the need for someone, but would like someone. Better no one than the wrong one, though. I've done that, too!!

JenSmith1104

I took the inititive with my now-husband. I don't think he would've made any moves. haha. Keep your head up and don't let this discourage you from doing it in the future!

rinnismom

you are so wonderful. it didn't work out but you aren't beating your head against a wall about it, very mature. i've seen people use this as a tactic to get off track and hinder their personal goal. cyber hug to you for being so honest and asking. i've always heard, "if you don't ask, how do you know?"

your post inspired me and made me smile. you're a great catch!

Chairless

time to make myself very unpopular and explain a little why men have absolutely no clue most of the time when you flirt with them and the best approach is always to be upfront and ask them out.

we get hit on / flirted with all the time and most of us, unless particularly fond of themselves, are almost completely immune to it.

maybe 1 in 100 times its because the lady has intentions towards us, the other 99 im afraid its anything from needing a favour to simply not knowing how to make any other sort of conversation.

so if anyone ever wondered, thats why men seem clue less, we tune it out.

/runs, hides.

KJVBear33

Wish I had the strength to put myself out there with a cute guy..........wish I had the strength to FIND said cute guy.........I am more old fashioned when it comes to this stuff. I like to try to find someone through a friend..........problem is, only one really great friend.........*sigh*

I don't NEED someone in my life..........I'd LIKE to have someone in my life like that.........

At any rate, major major props to you my dear OP........

Thanks on the props...it is hard to find a man my age who has all the qualities I'm looking for. Like you, I don't feel the need for someone, but would like someone. Better no one than the wrong one, though. I've done that, too!!

I hear ya.........and you are welcome! Keep swingin' though.......surely you will find someone........just think of it as God being picky with you cause He wants to find the perfect one for you! Thats how I see it myself!

Danny_Boy13

No, not a bad move at all. It shows that you are willing to go and get what you want, which in most guys books is an A+. You dont know unless you ask, right?

mandygal13

time to make myself very unpopular and explain a little why men have absolutely no clue most of the time when you flirt with them and the best approach is always to be upfront and ask them out.

we get hit on / flirted with all the time and most of us, unless particularly fond of themselves, are almost completely immune to it.

maybe 1 in 100 times its because the lady has intentions towards us, the other 99 im afraid its anything from needing a favour to simply not knowing how to make any other sort of conversation.

so if anyone ever wondered, thats why men seem clue less, we tune it out.

/runs, hides.

Don't run and hide. It's information like this that helps us all understand one another better. Thanks for sharing!

ItsCasey

I don't personally believe in asking men out, but I still say good for you. Even though it didn't work out, you must feel better now that you know where you stand.

What sucks about the "men are clueless" thing is that a lot of women are clueless, too. This is why we overanalyze every single thing a man does and try to interpret it all as a sign of his interest, or lack thereof. I am a pretty good judge of character when it comes to men. It's typically easy for me to tell if a man is good or bad in that sense. But I am terrible at figuring out if a man is interested in me, even when he does something that most people would think is obvious, like giving me his phone number.

As for friends fixing you up, I have a complicated take on that because of a recent experience where everyone told me this guy was one of the good ones, but they were way, way wrong. And now I'm leaning toward never going the "fix up" route again. I always thought it would be a "safe" way to meet a guy because your friends aren't going to fix you up with a bad guy, plus, if you know the same people, he'll be less likely to screw you over because of the social (and even professional) repercussions. But when people you trust build up this image of a really great guy, you're not as perceptive of the red flags as you would be if you met him in a random place. So now I'm back to hoping to meet guys in random places.