Friends Sick of You Being Fat?

leafylee

I am starting to get the feeling that some of my friends and co workers are getting tired of me being fat...

i work in an office of 15, and there are 3 marathon runners, 1 soccer player, 1 hippy granola, and 3 or 4 yoga freaks... the heaviest person there besides me wieghs 200 pounds. i feel like such an outsider.

i have been there for 2 years, and everytime we have a staff retreat or activity, they have to try to accommodate me because i can't do the same things physically as the others.

so today, i talked with one of my co-workers who just ran a half marathon this weekend and told her that i am trying to get my weight on track and i could tell she was annoyed by my goals.

i've been there before because after she ran the same race last year, i told her that i wanted to do it this year. when i said that last year i was 280 pounds, and this time i weight 330 pounds, so it seems like i am just a failure.

i want to fit in at work and with my friends, but i dont want to hang out with fat peiople because it just makes me fatter and feeds the self-loathing, but the fit people dont want to hang out with me because i must appear to be a lazy lump who is all talk and not action... any how, does anyone else have this problem?

leafylee

I am starting to get the feeling that some of my friends and co workers are getting tired of me being fat...

i work in an office of 15, and there are 3 marathon runners, 1 soccer player, 1 hippy granola, and 3 or 4 yoga freaks... the heaviest person there besides me wieghs 200 pounds. i feel like such an outsider.

i have been there for 2 years, and everytime we have a staff retreat or activity, they have to try to accommodate me because i can't do the same things physically as the others.

so today, i talked with one of my co-workers who just ran a half marathon this weekend and told her that i am trying to get my weight on track and i could tell she was annoyed by my goals.

i've been there before because after she ran the same race last year, i told her that i wanted to do it this year. when i said that last year i was 280 pounds, and this time i weight 330 pounds, so it seems like i am just a failure.

i want to fit in at work and with my friends, but i dont want to hang out with fat peiople because it just makes me fatter and feeds the self-loathing, but the fit people dont want to hang out with me because i must appear to be a lazy lump who is all talk and not action... any how, does anyone else have this problem?

missyt78

:flowerforyou:
Real friends love you for who you are hun, not for what we look like or what we weigh:huh: .

I know you work with these people and you have to be amicamble with regards to work, but they should be supporting you if they are real firends. Not making you feel worse, because we kno what happens..we feel worse we self loathe and we eat to feel better.. gaining more weight!! I kno this is what i do, im an emotional eater... Wish i was an emotional excerciser!!:bigsmile:
Try to feel inspired by their challenges and encourage them tro share their experiences with you, living in the positive gives us more motivation and spurs us on. We dont need to have friends who are the same shape, we just need friends who are supportive, and help us reach our goals. MFP is where i draw my insperation and strenght from..

I also have kept sayin i was going to loose weight...gaining more and more.. even to the point where i felt sick of myself. lol:laugh: When i started my journey my mum even laughed it off, sayin i would only last a week..my husband..altho loves me to distraction still wants takeaways n junk food.. which is like dangling a carrot infront of a donkey:laugh: but im now into week 3.. the first 2 were hard.. but now it feels like my "bad habbits" are disapearing into the past and i feel good.. altho i have only lost a litttle weight i kno it, and i feel like im acheiving something..every small step takes us a great distance.

Set small goals, tell your friends, tell them its hard and enlist some help if needbe... if they dont help.. ditch them.. :laugh: you always have us here at MFP!!

Good luck with your journey hun, take care:flowerforyou:

Nikki

Huxalyn

You'll be all right. I don't know if it will help or not, but I'd suggest you start with these two points in mind:

1. You are beautiful as you are.
2. You are doing this for your own benefit, not for anyone else's approval, so why tell your co workers what your goals are? Set goals here, rant here, get tips here...that's what this is for. Let your co workers notice on their own how much better you look and feel and act...you really don't have to say a word.

Who knows? Maybe in a year's time you can join your co workers on a half marathon. Wouldn't that be great? (Or not...dunno what your interests or goals are.)

sassiebritches

Well said all. Friends are supportive and yes brutally honest when needed. Hang in there and show them. People have no real idea what it means to be fat unless they have been fat. And one person's idea of fat is different from another persons. Alot of people think that fat people sit around eating cheesburgers all day, nevermind that Isome are fat and only eat 900 cals a day.......Some people are just ugly inside and have no clue what heavier people go through.

You hang in there. Make this commitment for yourself and who cares what they think. Ultimately you have to look at you in the mirror every morning..............you may be fat, but at least you can work on it.......ugly inside is just plain ugly.

GO FOR IT AND GET THINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

annaliza

I can sure understand how you feel.

We have only one other female full-time worker in my office and she looks like a model. All the office guys just flock to her naturally. I'm not a bad looking individual, but next to her, you might as well put a bag on my head and nobody would notice except for me being the fat girl. I also work at a college and yep...you guessed it....young, 18 yr old college girls in skimpy outfits everywhere. It's hard for the self esteem, especially when your fat and over forty.

But, I'm doing something about it though it would be easier just to whine.

Set some small goals for yourself.....you can do it. And I don't consider my office co-workers real friends, though what Missy said was so true.....your true friends will try to help you, not be annoyed by you and what you want to see for yourself.

All in all....you have to answer for you....those people at the office are what I call "temporary" people. Yea, they are important now, but would they still be important to you 10 or 20 years from now?

So, get thinner, like Sassie said....but it's not going to happen if you sit on the couch :happy:

Good luck to you!

Dave198lbs

maybe she was "annoyed" because you were saying the same thing last year and still just saying it this year

referring to these people as hippies and freaks...maybe they sense your attitude towards them and react accordingly


maybe it is time to quit talking about it and start doing it

good luck

fatstrat

I wouldn't want to hang out with those d____bags anyway. "Fit" people can sometimes be worse than ex-smokers when it comes to being high and mighty and preachy. A swift chop to the throat can usually put them in their place, but in the workplace I'd recommend worrying about how you feel and not a bunch of uppity jerks with roughage between the ears.

Do this for yourself and not them. They obviously aren't worth it. I guarantee that if their lives were as perfect as they'd like you to think, they wouldn't be @$$h0les.

Focus on yourself and you'll probably have more success.

Good luck.

keiko

maybe she was "annoyed" because you were saying the same thing last year and still just saying it this year

referring to these people as hippies and freaks...maybe they sense your attitude towards them and react accordingly


maybe it is time to quit talking about it and start doing it

good luck

I think Dave is onto something. I have a friend who I love but she has been talking about losing weight for a few years. For her she knows she is going to have heath issues if she does not. I've encouraged her but it's up to her to do the work. And yes it is alot of work.

It is hard to hear people say they want to lose but don't do anything about it. And I get tired of people telling me I'm lucky because I'm skinny. I eat healthy most days and exercise daily. It has nothing to do with luck.

Shannon023

I am starting to get the feeling that some of my friends and co workers are getting tired of me being fat...

i work in an office of 15, and there are 3 marathon runners, 1 soccer player, 1 hippy granola, and 3 or 4 yoga freaks... the heaviest person there besides me wieghs 200 pounds. i feel like such an outsider.

i have been there for 2 years, and everytime we have a staff retreat or activity, they have to try to accommodate me because i can't do the same things physically as the others.

so today, i talked with one of my co-workers who just ran a half marathon this weekend and told her that i am trying to get my weight on track and i could tell she was annoyed by my goals.

i've been there before because after she ran the same race last year, i told her that i wanted to do it this year. when i said that last year i was 280 pounds, and this time i weight 330 pounds, so it seems like i am just a failure.

i want to fit in at work and with my friends, but i dont want to hang out with fat peiople because it just makes me fatter and feeds the self-loathing, but the fit people dont want to hang out with me because i must appear to be a lazy lump who is all talk and not action... any how, does anyone else have this problem?

Maybe they're more accepting of your weight then what you think. According to your profile:

"so my friends will actually want to be around me and not have to hear me whine about how fat i am.

maybe they're tired of the whining.

Just do what you have to do and let your results speak for themselves. :flowerforyou:

Phoenix_Rising

"Fit" people can sometimes be worse than ex-smokers when it comes to being high and mighty and preachy.

I agree. As I lose weight and become more healthy, I try to keep my high and mighty preachy-ness to a minimum.

12by311

I gotta agree with the others that are saying maybe they are not "annoyed with you being fat" maybe they are annoyed with your "whining about being fat" and always saying you want to do something about it but don't.

Don't mean to offend....but that's just my personality. I'm a do-er. Get it from my mom. I get annoyed by people constantly telling me they live in a pig-pen and really need to clean...but then never do.

cheermom11

I have to agree with some of the posters above...

My mom has had 2 heart attacks in the last 4 years - and she's only 58 years old, yet she continues to smoke two packs of cigarettes a day. In addition, she is considered 'obese' and continues to eat very unhealhy and not exercise. There's many other healh problems she has too that I won't go into now.

It sounds cold, but I'm just kind of done. I'm tired of hospital visits and her crying about 'poor me.' I wish she would quit talking and just do SOMETHING to improve her situation.

If I were you, I'd enlist my co-workers in helping me and holding me accountable. They would probably love to if you're really serious.

arewethereyet

maybe she was "annoyed" because you were saying the same thing last year and still just saying it this year

referring to these people as hippies and freaks...maybe they sense your attitude towards them and react accordingly


maybe it is time to quit talking about it and start doing it

good luck

I think Dave is onto something. I have a friend who I love but she has been talking about losing weight for a few years. For her she knows she is going to have heath issues if she does not. I've encouraged her but it's up to her to do the work. And yes it is alot of work.

It is hard to hear people say they want to lose but don't do anything about it. And I get tired of people telling me I'm lucky because I'm skinny. I eat healthy most days and exercise daily. It has nothing to do with luck.

:noway: Hey WAIT............I think that was ME!!!!!!!!!!:laugh:

jessmomof3

Maybe they're more accepting of your weight then what you think. According to your profile:

"so my friends will actually want to be around me and not have to hear me whine about how fat i am.

maybe they're tired of the whining.

Just do what you have to do and let your results speak for themselves. :flowerforyou:

I gotta agree. I guess I am one of those *thin* half marathoners. But... I have had to work hard to get to this point. (70# weight loss since I had my 3rd child) Ask them for real advice and then TAKE it. Don't whine about it. DO something. You don't have to run a half marathon. You might just need to walk to start with. Just DO it, you'll feel better. Don't be the same weight (or more) next year. Set your goals now and work towards them.

breezysoul

Sweetie - it's time for you to take a long, hard look at yourself and stop thinking about other people. You are the one you need to make peace with. If you're angry or frustrated or upset with yourself - try to be kind to yourself and forgive. As the others have said, make small goals and follow through. You will never be at peace with others, your situation, or the world if you have no peace within yourself. And, if you need motivation and support - we're here.