Interesting responses to weight loss...

pamelapeldo

I keep saying that losing weight/getting fit is quite the emotional journey. As I continue down this road I am finding that I am getting some interesting responses from people. I get a lot of compliments and I am working really hard to simply say "thank you" and not negate the comments as I walk away from the exchange (the old me would quickly dismiss any positive comments). I find myself still being quite uncomortable with getting compliments as I have been overweight most of my life and I am simply not used to it. The interesting comments I have gotten from people recently are: "you have lost a lot of weight...is that on purpose?", "I think you should stop...you are too thin...maybe even gain a little back", "are you ok?", and last night someone said "you are ridiculously too thin". I've spent some time pondering these comments because I know that I still have weight to lose in order to reach my goals (which are realistic and appropriate...just ask my trainer :-)). I have decided that this is an emotional journey for the people in my life too. I think the "interesting comments" I have gotten are well intentioned but exemplify the fact that people are used to me being overweight and are maybe even comfortable with me being that way. Perhaps it is just going to take time for all of us to adjust to my new way of living.

BIGJIMMYU

Extremely well said. I am impressed by your mental outlook on the situation. Many times people ask me if I am starving myself. Losing 45 lbs overall so far I look at it as "at least this is a good problem to have" as people are not looking away or talking behind my back at how fat I am. To each their own. I like the new me as does my wife so that's all that matters.

juli73

I think I remember an Oprah show on this very subject. They talked about how some friends and family can feel uncomfortable - or even resistant - to their loved one's weight loss.
I remember one of the people on the show that was resistant commented that the person that lost the weight had 'changed'. When they looked deeper, the person that lost the weight was feeling better about herself, and her behavior, clothing and interactions with others reflected this. Her friend felt threatened by this.
It was very interesting.

Jezebel_Barbie

...people are used to me being overweight and are maybe even comfortable with me being that way.

This. I am 5'1" and weigh far, far too much for such a tiny frame. However, I have been this way for almost all my life. People I know don't see me as 'fat' they seem to see being fat as just being part of who I am. In a way that acceptance is nice but they are very resistant to me losing 'too much' weight. It's hard to explain to them that what they think is too much will actually get me to a healthy size!

Elalalectric

I've been struggling with this very problem lately. I've been working very hard, and am finally seeing a little progress. I still definitely exceed my daily calorie goal on a fairly regular basis, but I have been logging everything and working out almost every day. Some people say to me that it's "unhealthy" that I've lost a few pounds in a week, and it really stings because I'm working so hard to do this the right way. I'd like to say, "I lost a few pounds this week!" and hear, "That's great! Keep up the good work" rather than "That's unhealthy. Are you starving yourself?" :-/

At the same time, I know they are probably somewhat concerned because I've struggled with disordered eating in the past, but I know that it's more than that. They see me eating well and logging, they see me working out, so they know I'm doing it the healthy way. There's also the perception that my weight is just fine, and I don't need to lose anything. I'm not overweight by a lot, but it's more about being fit and feeling good in my body, which I don't at this weight.

It's funny how people respond to others' weight loss.

jrreed1

Are you kidding me? You are fit, healthy, and fantastic; definitely not "ridiculously too thin". From what I understand your goals to be, they are appropriate, attainable, and most of all maintanable. I think the voice in our heads is much harder to change than the physical things like exercising and eating appropriately. People have a hard time learning to accept change and that includes when someone in their world is the one changing. Think of all the people you have inspired to start their own journey (and continue on their journey-ME!) and the inspiration you provide to all of your friends just by doing what you are doing.

kaybeepickles

Sounds like your doing everything right. People even when they are friends or family can say things and not realize they could be taken as rude or hurt your feelings. They are most likely just not used to you looking so different so they have to adjust mentally to the new and improved you Good luck!

bemusic

You're amazing! You look amazing and are taking charge of your health. I think part of it is similar to when my husband tells me that clothes I try on "just aren't you." Well, maybe they are the me I want to be and not necessarily the me that I have been in the past. Maybe I am trying to be a better me and someone I am more interested in being around. Just because people are comfortable with who we are, they tend to see change as a bad thing (even when it's really a good thing, like weight loss and exercise). Some people seem to be scared that they will be left behind if we change too much. If we are changing other things about our lives to be better, are we going to change them too? We know we aren't, but they get nervous.

Just remember it is all to make you healthier. They will see eventually that it doesn't change who you are!

AllTehBeers

I think that a lot of time people (especially smaller people) don't really underdtand how proper diet and exercise work. They don't realize that if you're eating crap forever then for an entire week you eat fruit and veggies,your body is going to repond in a huge way. They also have an image in their head about what you've always been. They just know you as a big person. So for some one to lose a big amount of weight in a short period of time (I.E. 50 pounds in 6 months) even though its the healthy way, they don't see it as a healthy thing. I've thought about this a lot lately, that its taken me 10 years to put on the weight, so it actually takes less time to get rid of it if I eat right and exercise. Others have seen the gradual weight gain and probably think weight loss should take the same amount of time.