Another One...Again

mspiggie9

Okay...this is personal, not totally weight/nutrition related...
You all only know me through this web-site and I am going through a personal crisis...and I thought I could share the problem with you. I am in love with my boyfriend, I am hoping that I get to marry him within the next year or two. The problem is, I have wanted to be a mother since I was itty-bitty, and I am feeling very bad that I am jealous of the several newly-pregnant women that I work with and care a lot about. I feel horrible that I am upset, and yet I am elated for these young women who are pregnant. I have two baby showers to go to over the next two weeks and they are killing me...I want to support these wonderful ladies and yet I don't know if I will make it through the showers without falling off the wagon and stomping on the left over remains. I feel terrible that I am unloading on you all, but I feel like I'm falling down. Anyway, I was hoping that you all might understand and might be able to relate to my weird situation...I feel so selfish and I hate myself for it. I teach my students that jealousy is a waste of time, and yet here I am waisting time and making my eyes irreversably puffy...but I also teach my students that feelings are important and you should never feel bad about your feelings, feelings are natural and normal. So, I love kids, I am so happy that my friends are having babies, but I feel very hypocritical in the fact that I WANT TO BE THE ONE TO HAVE THE BABY. Sorry if this shounds psychotic or funky, I just needed to get it out.
Thanks for reading. :brokenheart:

mspiggie9

Okay...this is personal, not totally weight/nutrition related...
You all only know me through this web-site and I am going through a personal crisis...and I thought I could share the problem with you. I am in love with my boyfriend, I am hoping that I get to marry him within the next year or two. The problem is, I have wanted to be a mother since I was itty-bitty, and I am feeling very bad that I am jealous of the several newly-pregnant women that I work with and care a lot about. I feel horrible that I am upset, and yet I am elated for these young women who are pregnant. I have two baby showers to go to over the next two weeks and they are killing me...I want to support these wonderful ladies and yet I don't know if I will make it through the showers without falling off the wagon and stomping on the left over remains. I feel terrible that I am unloading on you all, but I feel like I'm falling down. Anyway, I was hoping that you all might understand and might be able to relate to my weird situation...I feel so selfish and I hate myself for it. I teach my students that jealousy is a waste of time, and yet here I am waisting time and making my eyes irreversably puffy...but I also teach my students that feelings are important and you should never feel bad about your feelings, feelings are natural and normal. So, I love kids, I am so happy that my friends are having babies, but I feel very hypocritical in the fact that I WANT TO BE THE ONE TO HAVE THE BABY. Sorry if this shounds psychotic or funky, I just needed to get it out.
Thanks for reading. :brokenheart:

dulceluva

I think we all have times in our lives where we want what others have and we don't. It can be anything and for you its children.

From reading your thoughts, its not like you don't think these mothers to be deserve children but you just wish it was your turn already.

There are many couples out there who struggle to have children and I am sure they look at young girls having babies or all these other couples having children so easily and I am sure they feel horrible inside that its so hard for them and they wish that they could be the lucky ones where procreation was 'simple'.

You need to remain strong and tell yourself that you are lucky to be in love and appreciate the relationship you have with your boyfriend. Your time will come when you find out you are pregnant and then you can tell all of your co-workers about it.

Sweeety...please don't let your feelings overtake your conscious. Remember, when you do become pregnant, you are going to want to be in the best shape of your life, so you can make all those other mamas 'jealous' that you just had a baby and you look amazing.

Please be strong and don't feel like you have to eat because inside you wish you were as lucky (at the present moment) as others.

There are so many times in my life where I look at others and these is a little bit of hate and envy inside because I know that some people just get what they want...but the thought goes away as fast as it came.

You are a good person.

localisap

Do not feel bad at all!!:flowerforyou: Almost every woman gets to that point in their lives where they want to be a mommy. As a mother of 3, I know first hand the joys of being a mother. When I was first pregnant my hubby and I were so excited! My sister in law was pregnant with the same due date and so was a close friend at work. Unfortunately I miscarried and had to watch the other two have babies. I cried every day. Finally a year later we stopped trying to get pregnant and left it in God's hands. I don't know if you believe in God or miracles but I sure do because I found out I was pregnant with twins!! And they were born healthy and happy! So you see God has a time and a place for everything! Enjoy your sleep now! Enjoy eating a meal without interruption! Although it is hard to watch your friends have babies, just know that now may not be the perfect time for you. Wait until after you are married(planning a wedding can be time/money/energy consuming ) and settled with your new hubby and then everything will fall into place!:happy: Be happy for your friends and know that when it's your turn you will never forget the feeling of carrying a beautiful baby and you will cherish the moment when it comes!

TINYTOES

I do know how you feel while my youngest son was small he had a little upsy. the dr . told us he would never be able to have children. WRONG!!!!! He got his wife pregnet before she was his wife . we had dna dne b/c of what the dr had told us. well the baby was his. THAT WASN'T THE END OF THE STORY .
They had four more . the sad thing about this is she wasn't redy to be a mom yet . Not to say you aren't.
just make sure you are redy to be a mom24/7. the state has all of them now .My son is in the ARMY. AND HAS GONE TO IRAQ FOR 18 MONTHS. WHEN HEVGETS HOME HE GOING TO FIGHT TO GET ALL HIS BABIES BACK. WITHOUT HIS WIFE. So hang in there.

Eve23

I know your feelings. Though for me it has never been the mommy thing, but certainly I can relate to the feeling. Mine is of a different sort.

We all have that special thing we want in our lives and it so often seems elusive. Stay strong and you will get through it. Take a deep breath and know your time will come. And because you truly want to be a mom you will be a terrific mom.

mspiggie9

Thank you everyone. I'm still crying, but, I do understand what you are saying. I will do my best to stay calm and realize that I do love and care for these women, and I am truly happy for them. Thanks again for your kind words. I'm going to see if I can de-puff my eyes now...probably not, I look pretty rough, but I still have to go to work. Kay, I'm going to keep going.
Me

stratton

dont feel bad..my best friend was told she would never have children and after going through 15 years of everything possible they gave up. they adoted two wonderful boys and the following year found out that she was pregers:laugh: she was so upset at going to baby showers that at one point she gave each of her friends one hundred dollars and said dont invite me i cant deal with it:ohwell: so now you see she is fine and even though she had a tough time with it she made it through...dont give up....sending lots of love and understanding:flowerforyou:

brazeaut

I think many of us can relate to this. I was married the first time for 4 years before I finally got pregnant. It was very hard to watch everyone around me having babies and at one point the Dr's even told me that it was unlikely that I would be able to get pregnant on my own. I attended the showers, etc and had to sit by while my sis in law got pregant.

Anyway, long story short I began throwing effort into getting into shape and it appears that was what the issue was because bam I got pregnant. The sour note was that my best friend got pregnant about 2 weeks later and then miscarried at 10 weeks. So my oldest daughter is a reminder to us both that she would have had a child the same age.

Anyway, I agree with the one that said that you just need to put the feelings aside and leave it up to God. Getting your body into the best shape you can prior to getting pregnant is also a great way to be prepared. I am here to tell you it makes a big difference with your pregnancies! My third pregnancy (and LAST) happened when I was 30. I got pregnant easily and without trying, though we had talked a lot about wanting one more so she was a very pleasant surprise, but was also the best pregnancy out of the 3 as I was in much much better shape then and was able to keep a handle on weight gain with the pregnancy better.

Well, you too will get through this and you can do it without emotional eating. Many of us know how hard it is to be where you are at right now, but bottom line is that when it's your time it will be that much more special!

Anna_Banana

Sorry you are so down. I know how you feel. When my husband and I were newly married and trying to have kids I had two miscarriages. While at the place I worked there were two unwed pregnant teenagers. Talk about unfair.

Just remember God has a plan for all of us. You are young and have plenty of time for motherhood.

rem1979

I didn't have my first child until I was 27. Through a series of bad relationships and losing my last boyfriend to cancer, I thought I would never get married and have kids. Then a great guy came along and changed all that. I feel the same way you have about being jealous for those around me getting married and having babies. My younger brother got married before I did and I remember crying because it should have been me. Life does get better. You are still young enough to have lots of babies!!! :flowerforyou:

Have you spoken to your boyfriend about your concerns?

garimac

Hello, I had two ectopic pregnancies and a histerectomy by age 32. And having kids was something i wanted more then anything. But today i am 43 and could not be happier.
Look around you and see all the great thing you have in your life. And be gratefull for them all. Be happy for what you have today. God has a plan for you and good thing to give you. So slow down and injoy what you have right now.
God bless you

mspiggie9

Thanks again everyone. As for visiting with my boyfriend about this, he knows I want children, he knows I was terribly upset yesterday...but I wasn't able to talk about it or anything else without bawling yesterday...I've had a few tears today, but after some rest tonight, I should feel much better. I am planning on talking with him about it soon...but I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to talk to him about it while meeting is 1 month old nephew and going to his baby shower this weekend. I'll talk to him about all of this just as soon as I can do it without making myself look like a complete idiot. Thanks for your kind words...and I know that what you are saying is true, my time will come and everything will be great when it happens. Dealing with all of this is hard to do, but I know I can do it. Oh, sidebar...my cats totally knew something was up and they were so sweet last night and woke me up with loves this morning. I am feeling better, I know I can make it through school tomorrow.