Stay At Home Moms Need......

mistresseeyore

Mental Health is a concern to for the health and fitness of a person. So words to think about:

People think that being a Stay At Home Mom is all giggles and fun. Just remember that it gets lonely at times, so when your talking to one, and they seem to talk to much for your taste, you might be the highlight of their week. So carry a conversation and don't neglect their need to have more intelligent conversation.

lovelyrose11

I couldn't agree more! I am a stay at home mom and there are days when the only coversation I have is in the form of baby talk until the hubby gets home. haha

mistresseeyore

Very true. We went to my In-laws house today, and my hubby told me to "be quiet, you're irritating my parents." We moved to his home town and I feel isolated right now. He comes from a long line of non-talkers.

aSunflower

This is so true and I think my biggest challenge as a SAHM. The weirdest thing is when I meet people- say at my husbands work party. People start talking to me, they seem really interested in getting to know me until they ask what I do. Then I become a non person.

sleepytexan

Oh, sorry I thought this was going to be a "fill in the blank" and my answer was going to be "chocolate".

mistresseeyore

Oh, sorry I thought this was going to be a "fill in the blank" and my answer was going to be "chocolate".

Chocolate does help.

BPayton27

This is really true. I've been a stay at home parent for 5 years, and we definitely do sacrifice a lot for this lifestyle. Our own sanity being one of those things. I was/am fortunate enough to be a part of a huge group of women all going through the same struggles and triumphs, which really took the edge off of the super difficult years. As cliche as they sound, playgroups or moms groups can be life savers.

KatFierce

AGREED! I just started back to beauty school at nights, I have been a SAHM for over a year now since I became pregnant with our second child. I now have a 3 yr old and 5 month old. When I started back to school everyone thought I talkd soooooo much, what they dont understand is DH works atleast 50 hours a week, and my only human contact is the children.

2hungariangirls

I love that I'm a SAHM, but I do miss work and conversation with adults. When I do get "adult" conversation sometimes the only thing I can add is that Olivia switched places with a princess that had freckles...

ajburroughs

YES! So true! And I have one child who talks non-stop. Literally. We are trying to get her to understand she has to be quiet at times. So I need intelligent conversation, but sometimes I need some silence too!

Mkserpa

Totally true.

My poor husband lol. He comes home from work at the end of the day and I just don't shut up! I have no one to talk to during the day, other than 'goo goo ga ga' to my 4 month old. I found myself speaking 'parentese' to an AT&T rep a few weeks ago :O

I have friends who think all I do is sit at home all day long and make faces at my baby girl or play online. The only time my computer is turned on is after 10pm after baby and hubby are finally in bed. Chores take twice as long because I have a baby in one arm and the other arm is trying to keep her happy with a toy or binky or something. I couldn't imagine having more than just the one :O

It's not all fun and games, although I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world. I am so fortunate to get to spend so much time with my newborn and see all of her 'firsts.'

But yes - a conversation with some intelligence behind it would be nice once in a while

amyrobynne

My husband is a teacher and I stay home with our kids and work from home in the evenings. When he gets home, he has no desire to talk because he's been talking to tons of kids all day and I have a million things to say because it's hard to hold much conversation with a 19 month old.

sleepytexan

This is so true and I think my biggest challenge as a SAHM. The weirdest thing is when I meet people- say at my husbands work party. People start talking to me, they seem really interested in getting to know me until they ask what I do. Then I become a non person.

I used to find that when I first quit working. Later I found that was only what I thought, not what was actually true. I spent years pursuing advanced degrees and a high-paying career and I had learned to define myself through my job title. It took some getting used to my new role and, honestly, some growing up on my part, to reestablish my confidence as a person.

I do not have to impress people by listing degrees, or job titles, or the number of kids I have (because you know there are annoying people who think that the more children they have the better mom they must be).

I can just be me, and I'm entertaining and fun to be around, regardless of my current role in society.

Being a SAHM is different now that my kids are getting older. I have 3 in school and 1 in preschool 3 days so I have a good degree of freedom. Also, I am less of a helicopter-mom than I was when I only had 1. I know what I'm doing and it works for me. Each kid brings different challenges and their behavior is unique. Not all 11-year-olds do the same things. Nor will we, as SAHMS be having the same experiences at the same time.

I'm just hoping I make it through without them killing me (I know they're trying).

Anyway, here's something a friend of mine who is in AA, sober for 23 years says: "No one is thinking about anyone but themselves. Do not imagine for a moment that they are wasting their time thinking negative things about you. They are too busy thinking negative things about themselves." Very true, and very freeing.

blessings.

Kat120285

Very true. We went to my In-laws house today, and my hubby told me to "be quiet, you're irritating my parents." We moved to his home town and I feel isolated right now. He comes from a long line of non-talkers.

That is terrible, I honestly would be pissed and would have a problem with my fiancé if he ever said anything like that to me. I'm a stay at home fiancé to our 5 fur babies. I take care of our house and fur kids, don't have a license so I'm just home all the time. It gets so lonely but my fiancés mom talks more than anyone I know and even though I'm alone all the time I don't really have much to say when we do get together with people. I'm actually looking forward to when we start having kids and I have more to keep me occupied during the day, of course as soon as that happens I'm sure I'll say I wish it was just me and the fur kids again haha.

vegagirl2012

Totally agree with AJburroughs!
I have a 10mo old who cries all the time & a 3 1/2 year old who talks all the time. Nighttime is the best time when everyone is sleep. lol

Kelly4877

So true!! I've been a SAHM for almost 8 yrs and man, it's getting old I just went back to college to finish my degree and it's the best thing I have done for myself. I get out of the house and I can have conversations that revolve around something other Max and Ruby!

Mkserpa

Very true. We went to my In-laws house today, and my hubby told me to "be quiet, you're irritating my parents." We moved to his home town and I feel isolated right now. He comes from a long line of non-talkers.

I feel sometimes I have to take a step back from myself when around people. I worked 7 years in customer service and used to be capable of 'selling ice to an Eskimo' but now I find it hard to say just the right thing, or how to hold myself back when I'm talking too much. I never thought I'd become antisocial.

rsmblue

I felt the same way, and I did it for all 3 of my children...

My suggestion to you, which brought me sanity for most days, was starting a group... Find some parents in the community and do play group or relating to something you like doing (book club, knitting, bunco, cards, whatever) and you can have some adult socialization that way.

blueeylb

all the luck to you being in a new town and "non talkers as family'. i'm a 3/4 stay home mom i work 1 weekday and 1 weekend day other than that i'm always at home/with my children (almost 4 girl and 20 mo. boy). there are times when i so isolated from other adults all of my family and friends have day jobs that can not be bothered,so it's just me until my husband gets home. We'll have family dinners and chat for a bit until he has to get done with what he has to do. Can i just say one of my best friends was getting me set up on gargage sale/ childrens clothing sites on FB. this one very emotional day a few weeks ago i was accepted to a SAHM group of Carol Stream around my area, that i thought would be nice but when the leader of the group wanted everyone to introduce themselves i did. apparently this group had selected a certain group of towns on each side of me to join but they turned thier noses up to my area for some reason (to the point of you would have to drive thru my town to get to either one). the group leader that accepted me had also sent me an IM within 2 min. and kicked me off of the group. i can not tell you how hurtful that was. yes i'm a bit bitter about this if i start thinking of it, but i wanted to ask that lady/mom what would she do/feel about someone doing that to her when she is feeling so seperated from other adult talking, friends, suggestions, HELP or who knows. sorry i rambled on but this subject it kinda hit home althought i may not be a complete SAHM but my 1 day a week that really adds up to 3hrs i think is pretty darn close.. agian sorry about carrying on but, thanks for listening

shaycat

Mental Health is a concern to for the health and fitness of a person. So words to think about:

People think that being a Stay At Home Mom is all giggles and fun. Just remember that it gets lonely at times, so when your talking to one, and they seem to talk to much for your taste, you might be the highlight of their week. So carry a conversation and don't neglect their need to have more intelligent conversation.

You said it perfectly. This is exactly how I feel all the time. :flowerforyou:

CarolinaGirlinVA

AMEN!! :drinker:

k_sharp

I so agree! I love my kids but I really miss working! I quit working when my kids were one and two. I moved to MI while my hubby is deployed so that my kids could know their family but I hate it here! I didn't grow up here so I have no friends and I just haven't made any since I've been here! it's nice being around family and I love that my kids are happy but I'm one miserable momma!

shaycat

I so agree! I love my kids but I really miss working! I quit working when my kids were one and two. I moved to MI while my hubby is deployed so that my kids could know their family but I hate it here! I didn't grow up here so I have no friends and I just haven't made any since I've been here! it's nice being around family and I love that my kids are happy but I'm one miserable momma!

Have you looked into joining any moms groups.
I would be lost without my play groups. You can look on meetup.com

deeharley

I've been mostly a SAHM for thirteen years. Tonight, my 13-year-old daughter was singing, "Hush little baby, don't you see, Momma's gonna need some therapy." I may need a break.

I agree with the needing adult conversation, hope you find someone soon to talk to all you want.

2kidsandadonut

I went through a major shift of being the main breadwinner to a stay at home mom about a year ago. My husband was promoted and transferred to a new town and so we moved and I became a stay at home. My 5 year old boy talks (ok screams) non-stop and I have a 13 month old who gets into everything. Because we moved I don't really know many people here and my husband works 14-18 hours a day. I was already a 'talk to mucher' but now I have NO adult conversation except with my husband when he's not exhausted. So I talk to my kids like adults. Lol nothing is funnier than the look on other people's faces when my 5 year old starts explaining how 'incredible' it is to be 'involved' in an 'aerobics' workout. Now I write a funny blog to get the stress out but every couple of months I drive the eight hours to our old home to hang out with adults.

liog

Wurd.

spskinny

For months my only conversations were with waiters .... my circumstances are a little better now...

77tes

I hear you, ladies! My daughter is a stay-at-home mom, and I try to call her every day as I'm driving home from work ,so she can talk to a grown-up. Sometimes, I can hear the desperation in her voice. (Her hubby is a non-talker).

Funny thing is, my husband is home alone all day since he retired, and he really needs to talk to a human being when I get home, too.

Twins2007

Mental Health is a concern to for the health and fitness of a person. So words to think about:

People think that being a Stay At Home Mom is all giggles and fun. Just remember that it gets lonely at times, so when your talking to one, and they seem to talk to much for your taste, you might be the highlight of their week. So carry a conversation and don't neglect their need to have more intelligent conversation.

ARGH

Being a SAHM has been the MOST DIFFICULT CHALLENGE OF MY LIFE!!!!!

And I used to be an Autism/behavior Interventionist who got her hair pulled, got bit and hit all the time!!!

Hugs your way...

E xo

StrengthIDidntKnow

When I was home I went to the mall once with my sister, I had a 15 min conversation with the guy at the coffee store. My sister was like, what was that about? I told her I take any adult conversation I canr. She laughed at me and then 4 years later when she was home told me she got it now.

decerva

This is very true! I have been a SAHM for 13 years and I feel like everyday, I clean the same messes, read the same books, see the same kiddie shows. My son seems to be going though a really bad case of the "terrible twos" and most days I don't know what to do with him.