Time for a change

nikki6t6

My name is Nikki and I am a shopaholic who not only spends money that I don't have but I also tend to spend it on food. Fast food, restaurants, or grocery store you name it I have spent too much money on it. My decision to change my problems #1 my spending habit and #2 my weight did not come because I realized if it didn't it might become a problem but rather because it became a big problem and now I either change or I end up broke and obese. I have always had a body that never looked the way I wanted it too, I grew up tall and "big boned" and even though I played volleyball from fourth grade up until my sophomore year of high school I still was a big girl. Granted the fact that I grew up on regular pop and large portions did not help my situation but I have never been able to feel like I was "normal" around people. I have always felt big. So now my quest begins I am 22 years old at 207 pounds, and I have started to change my life around and I felt like I should mark my journey as I go. We will see if I stick with it, I never have been able to before but I know now that if I do not change myself I will lose myself and everything that I wanted be. So I will say that other then groceries I have not bought anything in a week. I also started marking what I eat on www.myfitnesspal.com which is a great way to remind myself that everything I eat makes a difference one way or another. I started marking what I eat about a week ago and so far I have lost 1 pound! This is a big deal for me because I honestly have not even started the changes that I want to do with my life. I would love to start convincing myself to work out. I really hate it, I hate the gym, and most videos I feel ridiculous doing... even by myself. I know that it has to change and so I "started" (and by that I mean did it once this week and felt like I died inside a little) a program called Couch to 5K in 9 weeks, and it can be found at www.c25k.com and I know that it will help I again just need to not find reasons to not go. My schedule doesn't allow for a lot of time so I need to find a way to fit the work out in. I have been picking up hours like they were hot cakes so night time is looking like my best time to work out because the lord knows I am not a morning person and can barely get myself up at 8:30 as it is let alone 7:00. So I have decided the 9pm workout is just going to have to work. I now force myself to drink water as well instead of having a pop by my side I keep water. Tonight I was frustrated with myself but did not actually want to force myself to go to the Rec so instead I pulled up Jillian Michaels 30 day shred level 1 video and she kicked my *kitten*. I found my self cussing her out in my head. However, when I go done I felt accomplished and like I did something with myself. I am excited to share my journey and I hope to goodness I stick with it.