Missing Him

MUByM

I'm sitting here at 12:47am googling my dads name. Hoping to find him secretly living another life. Wishing I could send him an email and ask why he left me. Deep down I know it's a hope that will never become reality. I was only 14 when he left me. I know he didn’t do it by choice. I know he would have wanted to be here with his little princess.

Since the day he passed away, I’ve asked myself, why did God take him from me? Why did he take my daddy away. I’ve needed him so much. He never saw me graduate high school or college or see me get married or have my son. I wish I could just feel one last hug and kiss. One last “tu eres mi princesa”.

I often feel jealousy towards my sister. He wasn’t her biological father but he raised her as his own. He watched her graduate, watched her get married and was there when she had her son. Why did she get all that and I didn’t? I find it to be so unfair sometimes. I then stop and think that maybe God wanted it this way because she didn’t have the love of her own dad. I had a lot of good memories with him when he was still here so I suppose only God knows why he does what he does.

It will be 9 years since you left me dad. 9 years of not seeing you, not hearing, and not feeling your hugs and kisses. Someday I will get the courage to visit where your ashes were scattered. Until then, I will continue to see you in my dreams. I love you daddy!! ♥

R.I.P Daddy
04.24.1947 - 05.24.2003

Natx83

Rip! Sorry for your loss