Why can't I do it????

Cookie_4

Hi, everyone. Just like a lot of you here, I've tried almost every weight loss program out there and felt SO happy when I found MFP. I seem do be able to keep with the "program" for 2-3 weeks leading to weight loss and feeling good, then I slip off for 2 weeks and gain the weight back. The cycle has continued for months now.

Although I am happy I continue to try, I'm just frustrated as to WHY I can't seem to lose weight and keep it off? I've tried joining programs with friends, I've tried to do other things when I want to eat junk and I've tried to not have any junk food in the house but my cravings get so intense that I will go searching for chips and chocolate at midnight in my pajamas! I used to think I was an emotional eater, but I've addressed that and notice that I just like eating unhealthy foods!!

I have a lot of things that should motivate me... I have high cholesterol, I want to feel better about myself AND I'm in two wedding parties this year.

How can I end this 3 week cycle on and off????

SyntonicGarden

Just a few things to throw out there... Food for thought...

Have you sat down and seriously given thought to why YOU want to lose weight? There's a huge difference between doing something because you have to, are obligated to, are fearful if you don't (health/medical), and really wanting to do it. Everyone has different motivators.

Are you enjoying doing what you're doing to lose the weight? If you're starving yourself (not fun) then you're probably not going to be happy. If you're eating food you're not used to or can't stand, but eat because it's "healthy", you're probably not going to succeed. If you're on the treadmill and hate it, you're probably going to stop doing it and will need to find something else. If you're competitive, can you make a friendly bet with someone to help keep you on track?

Are you setting realistic goals for yourself? Small, attainable, incremental goals?

Does your food intake make sense? Are you getting enough? Do you feel cheated / like you're missing out?

When you eat stuff you shouldn't, are you paying attention to the triggers? Are you actually hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? Bored?

I'm sure you CAN do it once you look at all of the smaller pieces. Hang in there...

susannamarie

How far down are you going on your calorie intake? How big of a lifestyle change is it?

Are you including some of the foods that you actually like in your program? Or are you vacillating between eating nothing but carrot sticks and cabbage when on-program to eating loads of chocolate and chips when off-program? Sometimes you need to go in smaller increments.

Me, my first goal starting here was to write everything down. My second is to cut down on snacking when bored. My third (still in-progress) is to reduce soda. I'm doing these at about 2-3 week intervals. After I get the soda down to 1-a-day consistently, I'm going for increased vegetables.

Cookie_4

I'm eating at least 1200 calories a day and my goal is to lose 1 pound a week with an ultimate goal of 30 pounds. During my "on" cycle, I try to stay away from any chips, ice cream and chocolate (my favorites!) because I feel like they are trigger foods and I am not strong enough to have only one serving.

I always wanted to lose weight for others thinking that people would see me as more desirable but now, I want to do it for ME. I want to feel good about myself without needing complements from other people I want to succeed in losing weight and being healthier... I just keep failing at it.

When I'm on the right track, I feel better about myself yet not enough to prevent slipping back into the "off" cycle

MandaJean83

Sorry to hear your dilemma...that was ME for the longest time! I think one day it just CLICKED that I needed to do something! What has worked for me is burning enough calories at the gym to allow myself to eat some enjoyable things everyday. I substitute my prior bad choices (ben and jerry's, for example) with something less ominous (skinny cow ice cream)...and instead of having 3 or 4 slices of pizza, I limit myself to 1 or 2 at most! It's doable, but it takes good self control!

Gargwin82

Denying yourself foods you enjoy all together is always going to put a bullet in long term success. If I went 2-3 weeks without eating out right now(my HUGE vice) I would fall off the wagon right into a buffet. Yes it's hard to manage portion control, to say, "I am eating one serving and that's it!" but it's a skill that needs to be learned for long term weight loss and maintenance. Give yourself an allowance to enoy a food you like once a day to start, then slowly cut it down to every 2nd day, and so on until you find the cravings aren't as strong and you won't give into them. Even if it puts you over your calories a bit you will still lose just not as quickly, that is better than binging after complete deprevation and gaining back everything.

JMarigold

Just my personal experience . . . but do you drink diet sodas? I've been cycling the same 3 pounds for like 2 months now . . . mostly b/c lack of additional weight loss has led to frustration but I quit drinking all diet stuff on Wednesday and it's gotta be mostly water weight but (although I've yet to put it into MVP--going to weigh officially tomorrow) I've seen my weight drop five pounds in last few days and MORE importantly when I see my success I'm not as tempted by a bunch of junk. (A little junk maybe

Like I said, maybe you have nothing to do with diet drinks so this may not be at all helpful.

Cookie_4

@Gargwin - thanks for the idea of eating my favorite foods and slowly cutting down! I will try it but like I said before, I don't have very good self control for eating only one (or even two) portions.

@JG - I'm a diet coke fanatic!! I start with a can with my breakfast and another at lunchtime. I will try cutting it out but I think I will be REALLY unpleasant to be around. I should memo my co-workers :-)

Alycra

While it is not the most healthy thing... if ice cream is one of your favorites (it has always been mine) there are these mini snicker ice cream treats. They are small but they are about 90 calories. The big thing is they are individually wrapped. So, I kept those around forever, and if I had calories at the end of the day, I had one. It addressed my desire for ice cream, but already in a reasonable serving. I haven't had them in the house for awhile, but when I crave ice cream, those are what I go get. I feel like they help that "maybe a little bit more won't hurt mentality" I had when I would dish it myself.

JMarigold

@JG - I'm a diet coke fanatic!! I start with a can with my breakfast and another at lunchtime. I will try cutting it out but I think I will be REALLY unpleasant to be around. I should memo my co-workers :-)

I know some people who have been successful on MFP say they have had their diet soda the whole time and done just fine. So I fought tooth and nail to not give up my diet soda. Finally though, due to the lack of success, I reluctantly said goodbye, and apparently my husband (who has been telling me to give it up for months) was right (he'll never hear me say it though).

Honestly though, I knew that if I gave up my diet soda (which I drank almost all day) I would have to replace it with water. So I'm sure that has helped as well.

I take green tea pills for caffeine though so I haven't had caffeine withdrawal.

DopeItUp

All I can really say is that you have to really want it. Everyone wants to be skinny or a model or a bodybuilder, sure. But these things require long-term dedication and sacrifice. So if you're not ready for that level of commitment, don't sweat it until you are.

It's like an addict wanting to quit. They have to REALLY WANT IT. If they're not ready, chances are they will keep regressing.

susannamarie

I would try:
a) getting healthier versions of your trigger foods. e.g. baked chips instead of fried.
b) getting smaller packages, like mini ice cream sandwiches. Get in the habit of measuring out just one serving, entering it into your calorie tracker, and then putting the container away.
c) Not beating yourself up when you slip -- it's really, really easy to say 'Oh damnit, I just ate a half-pint of ice cream, my diet's gone' and eat a quart instead. If instead you enter it honestly, say "Whoops, an over day. But I'm only +200!" and try to do better tomorrow, it may help.

Best wishes.

kimmyj74

I'm in the same boat. Bump to see answers later.

lacroyx

I echo the easing into it suggestions. It was a slow process for me. The only thing I went cold turkey on when I started was soda pop. It was more of me being scared from finding out I had diabetes than anything else. When I began I still did fast food but I began dialing it back slowly. I went from 5-8x a week to 2-3x a week and then less and less. It took a few months before I eventually cut it out completely.

I made healthier choices over time and tried new things in different ways. I also don't cut out bad things entirely. I still love pizza and burgers but I choose healthier versions of them like thin crust or fruit/salad as a side with the burger instead of fries. I began trying things I didn't like before. Tomatoes and avocados are a good example. I found I don't mind them when it's fresh or in a sandwhich. But above all else I learned patience. I came from a long way and I will get to my goal weight eventually.

lacroyx

stupid work computer >.> nothing to see here

sunkisses

Because you, like most people, don't *really* believe your lifestyle and the choices you made before are what caused you to be overweight. Most people think there's some "other" reason they can't lose weight (soda, ice cream, "addictions" to certain food or food in general, thyroid, PCOS, birth control). So people do "diets" and then their old habits, the REAL problems (eating more calories than expending, not moving around enough every day), come back in because they were never addressed, just suppressed.

Once people are ready to actually CHANGE those habits, when they're ready to understand that you DO get fat living like that, the weight comes off and stays off. Your desire to be healthy or (unfortunately) "skinny" has to be bigger than your desire to constantly indulge your every emotion or craving for food and drink. You start to realize that if you want to eat a lot you need to exercise a LOTTTTT more, or you find a middle ground somewhere and enjoy a life that doesn't include so much food.

There's no mystery to this, sadly. Boring, but true.

econut2000

I, too, have tried all sorts of crazy "diets". I end up giving up after a week because 1) I hate the food 2) I'm hungry and 3) most importantly I feel deprived (I joined the site in 2010 but didn't actually start using it until last December). YOU need to find what works for you and it isn't necessarily anything that has worked for anyone else, but in my experience I found I was addicted (not just loved) processed foods! Processed foods are my absolute downfall. If I have some (minimally processed seems to be OK) it sets off a chain reaction of craving more, more and more processed food. That's not to say I've completely eliminated it. I still eat fairly minimally processed foods that for a person like me who HATES cooking will never in my life make by hand (bread, tortillas, cheese and pasta (gasp!), etc) but the pasta is pretty much limited to once every couple of weeks. I even break down and eat a box of mac & cheese (sadly one of my favorite foods!) every once in a great blue moon. BUT I make sure it's late enough in the evening that I know I will be going to bed soon and the cravings won't hit me where I eat everything in sight. If I can't have mac & cheese I will go postal Definitely know your trigger foods (like it sounds like it's chocolate for you) and find ways to have it on occasion so you don't binge on it when you do eat it or have it cause other cravings! Also realize if you're eating a whole lot of other processed foods (ESPECIALLY diet soda!!!!!!!!! Honestly it's the devil) it will bring on the cravings much worse than if you eat 75+% whole foods for the day and just have a handful of chocolate chips before you go to bed. One chocolately snack I enjoy is to buy baking cocoa powder and add 0.5TBSP (or even less) to 1/4 cup of part skim ricotta. Of course you will need to sweeten it and I do use a half a packet of Splenda but I don't eat it everyday so I feel like it doesn't trigger cravings for me. It's only around a 100 cals and it curbs my cravings for something sweet! Good luck :drinker:

Sl1ghtly

Because you, like most people, don't *really* believe your lifestyle and the choices you made before are what caused you to be overweight. Most people think there's some "other" reason they can't lose weight (soda, ice cream, "addictions" to certain food or food in general, thyroid, PCOS, birth control). So people do "diets" and then their old habits, the REAL problems (eating more calories than expending, not moving around enough every day), come back in because they were never addressed, just suppressed.

Once people are ready to actually CHANGE those habits, when they're ready to understand that you DO get fat living like that, the weight comes off and stays off. Your desire to be healthy or (unfortunately) "skinny" has to be bigger than your desire to constantly indulge your every emotion or craving for food and drink. You start to realize that if you want to eat a lot you need to exercise a LOTTTTT more, or you find a middle ground somewhere and enjoy a life that doesn't include so much food.

There's no mystery to this, sadly. Boring, but true.

So you're trying to say that people should accept responsibility for themselves? Crazy talk.

hiker282

Maybe this is something best discussed with whoever it is you want to 'do it' with? We don't really know you, so how are we supposed to know?

vanzeem

bump

Scott613

jenttifer

For me it had to be a lifestyle change. I honestly sat down and said to myself, "What kind of eating habits will make me healthy that I can stick with FOREVER?". I still eat the things I really love...on occasion. But I realized something I never would've thought about myself. Once I got really into my lifestyle change, (I still can't call it a 'diet'), I find that if I go off track for a few days and eat really ****ty food I actually CRAVE vegetables, fruits, and healthy foods! It's really bizarre. I say give yourself a deadline...'I won't eat chips/ice cream/etc for one month, at the end of the month I can have one of those'...you may find you don't even crave it when the deadline comes along...AND you'll be so damn proud of yourself you may not even want it! Or...this happens to me quite often...I have that one food that I've been craving that "I haven't had in such a long time!" and when I eat it I realize it wasn't really as good as I remembered it being. I do agree with what someone posted above, it really just has to click for you.