Discouragement vs. Motivation

aqcannon

So I ran into an interesting conundrum this weekend. I'd like to run it up the MFP flagpole and see if others have encountered this as well. (I truly value the MFP community and loving the support and encouragement that comes here). So here's the situation:

My son was looking through old family photos trying to find some of when he was a kid for a project at school. As he was looking he kept pulling out old photos of me in HS, college, army, etc at a time when I was much more svelte and trim. I found myself getting discouraged and somewhat downhearted at how far I'd slipped since then. "If only I'd known then what I know now, maybe I could have prevented myself from being in this shape." I thought to myself. (NOTE: In most of those pictures I was around the 230-250 lb mark, I currently am at 461 after losing 41 lbs over the past 7 weeks on MFP. My goal is to get back to the shape I was in those pictures, but boy, is it a loooooong, hard journey.)

Instead of seeing them as motivation like I do with so many of the before/after posts here, I was disheartened and discouraged. I almost found myself in tears. It was tough. I guess I expected that the pictures would motivate me to get back into shape but instead I just found myself focusing on all the mistakes I'd made.

I get so motivated by the pictures here on MFP and by some of the people I talk with at the gym who have gone through (or are currently going through) the same struggle/journey as me. So, I don't quite understand why it was such a different effect looking at those old pictures.

Has anyone else experienced this?

joyw37

Me! *holds hand up*

Kdingo

Thankfully I don't have any pictures of myself at my goal weight, none that aren't just face pics anyway. I know what you mean though, it would be hard. No worries though, bury the pics you don't need them you are doing fine. Keep it up!

MyTime1985

Me. I get so upset and I just want to go grab a cheeseburger. Then it hits me that just realizing where I was and the mistakes I made are part of the solution. I know better and that makes me feel better. Don't dwell on the past, your future doesn't deserve it.

tabbydog

I think everyone experieces that to some degree, unless they are in excellent shape and have been all their lives. Look at it this way: you were there once, you will be able to find your way back there again. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. The next time you get there you will KNOW what you know now, and you will never leave there again! Good luck to you. :flowerforyou:

BaconMD

Yes! When I think about what I let myself become, I get extremely sad and regretful.

And then, I think about where I am going and what I will become, and I keep plodding on. It's all I can do.

Don't give up!

vabrewer33

I am having one of those days today. Just thinking about what I used to look like and how people must see men now brings a tear to my eye (ok a whole bucketful of tears). But we both have to stay strong and carry on! You are making a change, you are DOING something about this problem and you are succeeding!!! 41 lbs is amazing and you are still losing! It is perfectly normal to have bad days, to get discouraged but what you do with that is what defines you! Use this to make you a stronger person, to keep on keeping on!

madeinforks

You have lost 47 lbs. in seven weeks! That is a major accomplishment~! Put that into manageable parts and by realizing that that is 7 lbs a week average! Wow..It takes me all month to lose that many and I feel good! So keep going and look back only to see how far you have come!

oldhag45

Yes, a similar situation with me. Only it was TRYING to clean out my closet and realized that I only had about 6 items that ACTUALLY fit me now....three of which are SWEAT PANTS! It depressed me to no end and I sort of binged for a few days....which included much beer drinking as well. that of course put me even further over my calorie goal. And here is how I got out of it.
I put all the clothes back just as they were for FUTURE USE.....then I decided to stop obsessing so much over the diet and tried to actually HAVE FUN. So I walked alot with my dog in the woods which always cheers me up and at the same time really makes me sweat...I didn't log into mfp for a couple days and I just tried to only eat when I was hungry. What this did was make me feel sort of normal again and took the depressing pressure off of losing weight. It was JUST enough of a break that I needed to make me feel better, and guess what I lost like two more pounds in the process. It also made me do a similar thing without realizing it, which is the most important....ONE STEP AT A TIME. Like AA people do, one day at a time. If you say to yourself I have SUCH A LONG WAY TO GO it will be overwhelming. Just take one day at a time. If you fail a bit today, or tomorrow even, you will not fail the next day. Also, my daughter told me that she tells herself every single day something -at least one thing- that she did good. For example- she watched her skinny boyfriend chow down half a pizza and she didn't give in and eat any of it....or she did great on her test in college...or something like that. Its all part of that one step at a time positive mentality...one day at a time. Sometimes looking at the big picture is too much.....just take baby steps and small goal and know that in the end...after all those baby steps....you will have traveled just as far as it took you to get to the weight you are now....only in the opposite direction. Good Luck!

aqcannon

Wow! This is what I love about MFP. Such an outpouring of support and encouragement. Thank you all.

I will take your advice to heart and bury the pictures and just focus on the road I'm on, not the one I've already traveled. I can't undo the past I can only "do" the present.

Here's to a fabulous journey, with an amazing final destination. :flowerforyou:

aqcannon

Yes, a similar situation with me. Only it was TRYING to clean out my closet and realized that I only had about 6 items that ACTUALLY fit me now....three of which are SWEAT PANTS! It depressed me to no end and I sort of binged for a few days....which included much beer drinking as well. that of course put me even further over my calorie goal. And here is how I got out of it.
I put all the clothes back just as they were for FUTURE USE.....then I decided to stop obsessing so much over the diet and tried to actually HAVE FUN. So I walked alot with my dog in the woods which always cheers me up and at the same time really makes me sweat...I didn't log into mfp for a couple days and I just tried to only eat when I was hungry. What this did was make me feel sort of normal again and took the depressing pressure off of losing weight. It was JUST enough of a break that I needed to make me feel better, and guess what I lost like two more pounds in the process. It also made me do a similar thing without realizing it, which is the most important....ONE STEP AT A TIME. Like AA people do, one day at a time. If you say to yourself I have SUCH A LONG WAY TO GO it will be overwhelming. Just take one day at a time. If you fail a bit today, or tomorrow even, you will not fail the next day. Also, my daughter told me that she tells herself every single day something -at least one thing- that she did good. For example- she watched her skinny boyfriend chow down half a pizza and she didn't give in and eat any of it....or she did great on her test in college...or something like that. Its all part of that one step at a time positive mentality...one day at a time. Sometimes looking at the big picture is too much.....just take baby steps and small goal and know that in the end...after all those baby steps....you will have traveled just as far as it took you to get to the weight you are now....only in the opposite direction. Good Luck!

I love it. The "What About Bob" mentality. "Bob, don't think about getting out of this building, just think about getting out of this office. Baby Steps!"

That, and I find myself humming the song from Santa Claus is Comin' to Town: "Put one foot in front of the other...." :happy: