What would you do in this situation? Very stressed over this

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  • BlessedShauna777
    BlessedShauna777 Posts: 118 Member
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    Don't do it; The People's Court was built on scenarios like this.


    lol!!!
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
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    That's a tough one. I was given advice of "do not lend money to a friend unless you can live with the possibility of not being repaid". If you are not in a position where you could make it a gift instead of a loan, simply explain your circumstance and hope the friendship is enough to overcome any hard feelings.

    I hope it works out for you.

    I agree with this poster. I know this is a difficult situation for you to be in, and I hope that it works out also.
  • nilleah
    nilleah Posts: 177
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    It's one thing to lend a friend or family member a small amount of money, it's quite another to lend them a LARGE sum. I would not do it.

    If I were you I would tell your friend that you cherish your relationship with them too much to possibly jeopardize it by doing this. Anything could happen and your relationship could end for it. If they are a true friend, they will understand.
  • Evelyn_Gorfram
    Evelyn_Gorfram Posts: 706 Member
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    I might lose a good friend today. :cry:

    A good friend wouldnt ask something of you that you cant do.
    A good friend will stick with you, even if you couldnt help them.
    I agree.

    I've had to ask friends for loans before. I have always been extremely grateful when they, having had to turn me down, then forgave me for putting them on the spot like that.

    (I have one friend who has sometimes been able to make the loan (of $200 - $500 - nothing like the OP's amount). She has always been repaid, (albeit not always on time :embarassed: ) and if there is a heaven, she will go there.)

    If the friendship is contingent on the money - um, isn't that sort of like him asking you to buy his continued friendship for $5000-plus?

    Just two cents from someone who may have had to borrow them :)
  • willrunforfood
    willrunforfood Posts: 4
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    Don't do it. I agree with the people who say that a true friend would not ask you to do this.
  • worej
    worej Posts: 108
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    If you had the money, that you could lend your friend, I'd maybe consider it... maybe. But if you have to take out a loan yourself, I say no. No way.
  • nilleah
    nilleah Posts: 177
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    If you say "no," you may lose a friend. If you say "yes," you will probably lose the friend and the money. She has put you in a terrible situation, but I'd say no. Never loan a friend money that you can't afford to lose. She may not believe it, but I'd try telling her, "I value our friendship too much to risk it by lending you this money."


    Oops just saw this.. yeah we agree on this hehe <3
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,139
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    I don't think a real friend would ask you to do that.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    I might lose a good friend today. :cry:

    A good friend wouldnt ask something of you that you cant do.
    A good friend will stick with you, even if you couldnt help them.


    I have to agree with this. A true good friend would NEVER put you in this type of predicament. It's not fair and you are stressed out. And they would certainly not end their friendship with you over you choosing not to go through with this. I mean, $5000 is a LOT of money to ask someone else to take a loan out for.... Sorry your friend put you in this position and hopefully you will be able to salvage your friendship after you give your decision.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    Suppose you had a friendship of 10+ years. This person has been with you through most of the ups and downs of your adult life.

    Has supported you through rough times (moral support not financial).
    Was there when you 'closed' on your home first home.
    As a mortgage broker, advised that you refinance that same home and lower interest rate. (good advice)
    Has offered there home when you thought you needed to find another place to stay.
    Has had your child stay with them for about 1 month when you needed them.
    Has listened when you have troubles and needed advice.
    Has treated you almost like a family member (included you in family reunions, photos, graduations, weddings, funerals, etc.)
    Kids have been friends since the age of 6 (both are now over 18).
    Has asked that their family Mentor your teenager, when you had no one else.

    Now this friend is in a situation, which they need help saving an investment property left to them by a parent (worked hard all her life) who died and it's in jeopardy of being taken from them (taxes). When the housing market crashed they suffered greatly and so has the credit score. However, they've held on to most of the properties.

    You have never borrowed any money from this friend, but they have from you in the past and have paid it back (give or take $200). Now, they are asking if you will take out a personal loan and lend them the money to save this 'Income generating' property. You yourself are in a tight financial situation, but have managed to keep Good Credit. They promise to pay it with the tax money that is on it's way, but won't be here within the required time to save the property.


    What would you do?

    You're going to hate my answer. I would talk to them about everything that you wrote here instead of a board full of strangers. If they're that good of a friend and they understand where you are concerned then they can maybe better either 1) make a decision less based on emotion and more based on finances if this really is an emotional decision they're making or 2) show you the figures to give you reasonable solace about the decision.

    You could always ask them to show the proof of the income generated from the property. However, I don't believe that I would take out the loan without collateral. You'd be better off co-signing than taking out an uncollateralized loan (or a loan collateralized with your property). If I was talking several thousand dollars I'd protect myself, I have a family to consider too.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    A good friend wouldnt ask something of you that you cant do.
    A good friend will stick with you, even if you couldnt help them.

    exactly.

    A "good" friend loves you and accepts what you can and can't do. Someone you lose because you can't help them without putting yourself in harms way is usually manipulative and does not care for you.
  • slim422
    slim422 Posts: 104 Member
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    A good friend of mine once said lend others money anytime - anytime it would be OK to not get it back, otherwise don't do it.

    That was the same friend that also loaned me a significant amount of money while she was in University several years ago. When criticized for doing so she responded with the above statement.

    I think it's a good one.

    (And I did pay her back)
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
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    I would do it. My friendships are important to me and if it wasn't a person that was constantly taking advantage of me and borrowing money they never paid back it would be different, but that's not the case. Their emotional connection to the property and their needs are more important than money. As long as my family is not living on the street what mine is always available to my loved ones that need it.
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
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    sorry I wouldn't do , because if all falls now your credit and finiances are messed up...
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    If you lose the friend, they weren't as good a friend as you thought...

    Sorry... but I've found this to be most often true.
  • sassylilmama
    sassylilmama Posts: 1,495 Member
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    I might lose a good friend today. :cry:

    A good friend wouldnt ask something of you that you cant do.
    A good friend will stick with you, even if you couldnt help them.


    I have to agree with this. A true good friend would NEVER put you in this type of predicament. It's not fair and you are stressed out. And they would certainly not end their friendship with you over you choosing not to go through with this. I mean, $5000 is a LOT of money to ask someone else to take a loan out for.... Sorry your friend put you in this position and hopefully you will be able to salvage your friendship after you give your decision.

    Exactly what I was thinking. Good luck to you.
  • jess_davidson
    jess_davidson Posts: 2
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    That is tough and it is a lot of money. Is there a way you could buy it from your friend? This way if they cannot pay you back you at least have the land/property. Once they have the money you could sell it back to them. Of course you probably would want to sell without the help of a Realtor...just an alternative idea for you! Good luck :)
  • jjblogs
    jjblogs Posts: 327 Member
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    Just don't. Do NOT do it. I would never ask this of a good friend. It's not fair to you. If you lose the friendship, it may be that it wasn't as solid as you might have thought.
  • howeclectic
    howeclectic Posts: 121 Member
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    Why can't they get the $5000 loan themselves? (Im guessing their credit is bad). So, this is a person who potentially already has a track record of not paying back their debts.

    Ultimately... I think no matter what you do... it will end poorly. Unfortunately, you MAY help them delay the loss of their property, but ultimately, chances are it will be like putting your finger in the dam. If you want a chance at preserving the friendship you might have to just go with the white lie (i applied for a loan and was denied). Otherwise you will be bitter at losing your money or they will be bitter at you for not helping and blame you for their problem. No win situation really....
  • bstoetzer
    bstoetzer Posts: 96
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    I wouldn't lend them the money if it will potentially hurt your credit. If they know they are getting the money back from taxes, why haven't they taken their tax return to the bank and explained the situation?

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