What if you lose all of the weight?

HaRLo24

I've only been on this site for a few days and have already had success and found a mind set I didn't know I possessed in terms of weight loss and health. But I found myself thinking today, "what if I lose all of the weight and I still fall short of my expectations?"
What if I have a lot of skin left over? What if my stretch marks don't go away? What if I'm not as cute as I hoped I would be when I'm thin? What if I have a weird body shape with a flat butt and love handles that wont go away?----what if the reality wont be as good as the fantasy in my head of what it will be like when I'm thin?

Does anyone else have these thoughts or is just me? And if anyone does have these though how do you keep them from sabotoging your weight loss?

bizco

Never had those thoughts but can offer some advice so you can minimize your fears.

To avoid loose skin, lose the weight slowly. Don't fall for "The Biggest Loser" syndrome. That's why MFP settings only allows a max loss of 2 lbs. per week. To avoid a weird shaped body (and loose skin), strength training is a must. Buy some weight lifting books (or check your local library), spend time on www.bodybuilding.com for good beginner programs. Educate yourself on fitness and nutrition.

Wishing you the best of luck. You'll be as cute as you hoped, don't worry.

HaRLo24

Thank you
I do think I was falling for the Biggest Loser syndrome and was all about losing the weight as quickly as possible. I think I'm going to re-evaluate some things and start eating some of my exercise calories back. I'm a former athlete and know my way around a gym pretty well, in fact exercising is the one thing I've never had a problem with.
I feel like I'm learning so much and for once its sound advice and not gimmicky. I'm sure some trial and error will be in order. This isn't a diet its a way of life---and I've never tried to live a "healthy lifestyle" before.
Thanks again!

ruby_red_rose

Yes, I had all the questions you do as well. But then I started asking myself if I'd rather be huge with no stretch marks or healthy weight with some stretch marks and loose skin. For me, the answer was easy. Even if I have a few stretch marks here and there and some loose skin, I'd rather be a healthy weight than obese.

Luckily, even after losing 52lbs, I do not have any stretch marks. I am taking it pretty slow though - I started this journey back in July 2011.

AllisonMarisa

I sort of worry about that sort of stuff. I'm following a similar plan to what the other person mentioned, losing weight slowly (I'm actually only doing 1lb a week most of the time) I'm also combining in some strength exercise too (focusing on toning)

I heard someone once talk about how even though they had lost almost all their weight in a year, it took them several years to lose it mentally. They still saw themselves as a "overweight" person and had a hard time "losing" some of the ways of thinking that went along with it. I definitely find that to be true.

TheYankeeBelle

Although I have fallen into the trap of thinking like that, I've kept my sanity by reminding myself that I just want to be a "less fluffy" version of what I am now.

I too used to be an athelete (competitive gymnast) and stuff like that....but I know that is unlikely to come back into my life! However, I have new goals to reach for in terms of fitness and come to accept, begrudgingly, flaws like loose skin and stretch marks. Unless I hit the lotto and get loads of plastic surgery, these things are with me for life and I might as well look at the bright side of things in life....like good health, not being on medication, being comfortable in an airplane seat, shopping for clothes in cute-girl stores...

Hope this helps.

WishfulShrinking331

I feel the same way, I've lost 22 pounds since my weight loss journey, some would say I'm thin, but I still feel like there is so much more to lose. I think that it will take time to stop having a distorted view of ourselves and I think that people who had to work to be thin will always struggle with body image

mrsmel55

I am 55 and have battled this on and off all my life. I have talked myself out of losing weight for the same reasons you mentioned. I saw the skin looking saggy when I started to lose weight and I gave up. That was about 8 years ago. When I was first married about 25 years ago I went from 241 to 152 and I gained it all back plus. My husband is 60 and he had a heart attack on January 14. That was my wake up call. This time I am freaking determined to do this. I went to the doctor on January 16 and I weighed 271. Today I went and I weighed 252. (at home and with no clothes its 248.5) (I like my scale better) My husband was not as overweight as me but he did no exercise and he ate what I fed him. So I have decided I need to do this for me and him. You are young. Get a handle on this now and you will enjoy your life so much more. Trust me. I have had a happy life but I have always been self concusious. This site is helping me sooo much. It makes me accountable to myself and I want to make everyone proud too.You can do it!!!!

Chryssie198726

I have that Fantasy of once i'm thin i'll be the hotter one and i'll show them...but then reality hits me in my face that i still have not lost as much weight as my sisters or my friends. That it's a long hard road. but it will be worth it because than I can go around with my head held high knowing i did this for myself and i look freakin hot!

HaRLo24

I am 55 and have battled this on and off all my life. I have talked myself out of losing weight for the same reasons you mentioned. I saw the skin looking saggy when I started to lose weight and I gave up. That was about 8 years ago. When I was first married about 25 years ago I went from 241 to 152 and I gained it all back plus. My husband is 60 and he had a heart attack on January 14. That was my wake up call. This time I am freaking determined to do this. I went to the doctor on January 16 and I weighed 271. Today I went and I weighed 252. (at home and with no clothes its 248.5) (I like my scale better) My husband was not as overweight as me but he did no exercise and he ate what I fed him. So I have decided I need to do this for me and him. You are young. Get a handle on this now and you will enjoy your life so much more. Trust me. I have had a happy life but I have always been self concusious. This site is helping me sooo much. It makes me accountable to myself and I want to make everyone proud too.You can do it!!!!

Thank you so much. This just put everything into perspective for me. I keep telling myself that I want this to be a holistic change and not to get caught up in the superficial stuff of what I'll look like in a bikini. I'll try to remind myself that my skin might be sagging, but my heart wont be working as hard. I know you'll make everyone proud, and thank you again

HaRLo24

I feel the same way, I've lost 22 pounds since my weight loss journey, some would say I'm thin, but I still feel like there is so much more to lose. I think that it will take time to stop having a distorted view of ourselves and I think that people who had to work to be thin will always struggle with body image

I think you're onto something. The eating healthy and exercising wont be the biggest battle, it'll be reprogramming my brain!

MelissaGraham7

I have some excess skin that is disappearing, some stretch marks that are fading....it is a long process but if you lose slowly and are exercising and toning and strength training while you are at it, it keeps firm. But if you think losing weight is going to make you beautiful and solve all your problems in life, you need to reevaluate yourself. Weight loss is difficult to do and even harder to keep off permanently. But being fit and healthy and making lifestyle choices is so worth it and it becomes easier over the years.

chrissismone

Enjoy your journey and don't worry nor fret for in all due time things will work they way they will need to. I often think about lose skin but as long as you hit those weights hard not girly ones but actually progressively getting heavier weights you will blow your own mind.

leomentlines

Just focus on the positive aspects of losing weight and getting healthy. I will always have a ton of stretch marks across my body and some cellulite on my legs, but I can either pair them with a lumpy unshaped body that I'm not happy with, or a strong toned body I've worked hard for. When I look at it like that, the second choice is obvious.

bushidowoman

Honestly, yes, I've had all those same thoughts before losing weight.
And honestly, after losing 30lbs, there are some changes that I'm not thrilled with.
But it's just looks. Everyone's looks are going to go away eventually. All of us will have wrinkled skin and saggy boobs, no matter how much surgery we can afford--it's inevitable! I'm trying to focus on the way I feel instead. I feel strong and energetic, and that is more important than how I look.
I see folks in their 70s and 80s who can still dance and yoga and swim and lift weights...and that is who I want to be someday.

megsmom2

no one ever promised you that all of a sudden everything would be perfect if you lost weight...that you'd have a perfect round butt or nice perky boobs or world peace or the ability to fly. What you get is the best body you can have at that point in time, if you work at it, and probably better health to boot. Sounds pretty good to me.

heybales

Thank you
I do think I was falling for the Biggest Loser syndrome and was all about losing the weight as quickly as possible. I think I'm going to re-evaluate some things and start eating some of my exercise calories back. I'm a former athlete and know my way around a gym pretty well, in fact exercising is the one thing I've never had a problem with.
I feel like I'm learning so much and for once its sound advice and not gimmicky. I'm sure some trial and error will be in order. This isn't a diet its a way of life---and I've never tried to live a "healthy lifestyle" before.
Thanks again!

Excellent thinking, and even better, learning.

Forget the 1360 MFP suggested when you told it 2lbs a week.

Go for the 1860 when you select 1lb a week.

Closer to your BMR 1970, so you won't be slowing your metabolism down too much. And just increase your daily non-exercise activity as much as possible at first.

aquasw16

Regardless, you will be healthy. And, most of that is "fixable" anyway

SmashleeWpg

Everyone has had great suggestions! Just try to remind yourself, it's about overall physical health and how you feel, not to mention the great sense of accomplishment you will have when you reach your goal; any marks you have are battle scars!

In regards to stretch marks, I can tell you that they do fade overtime, but unfortunately many studies and research have shown that it's difficult to make them completely dissappear. I know that for me, Bio-Oil has been really helpful in minimizing them, as well as a little bit of self-tanner. And when I get frustrated with them, I refer to this:

PennyNickel14

I've only been on this site for a few days and have already had success and found a mind set I didn't know I possessed in terms of weight loss and health. But I found myself thinking today, "what if I lose all of the weight and I still fall short of my expectations?"
What if I have a lot of skin left over? What if my stretch marks don't go away? What if I'm not as cute as I hoped I would be when I'm thin? What if I have a weird body shape with a flat butt and love handles that wont go away?----what if the reality wont be as good as the fantasy in my head of what it will be like when I'm thin?

Does anyone else have these thoughts or is just me? And if anyone does have these though how do you keep them from sabotoging your weight loss?

I have these thoughts. It's a work in progress. The mind game of a lifestyle change is as hard as the physical game.

It's okay to have moments of doubt. Keep pushing though

HaRLo24

Haha I'm sitting here giggling at some of your guys' replies. Well I wasn't necessarily hoping for the ability to fly, but world peace and perky boobs sound pretty good I think I just had a moment this morning where my self sabotage mode kicked in. I was having success and it was a new experience for me, I started looking for the negative. After reading everyone's words of encouragement and redirection to what really matters my head is clearer and I'm definitely more aware of some of my mental habits that aren't food or diet related, but need equal attention. Thank you all for your input, I really appreciate it!

VeganPanda

I've wondered the SAME EXACT THING about the flat butt and the love handles as they are my big problem and just wish they would disappear.

But I guess we may as well take the journey and see whether it leads us to something we like.

I have tried to lose weight so many times and this is the longest I have ever stuck with it and the most I have ever lost in one period of time. So if this trend continues, I'll find out soon enough whether my pesky love handles will go away.

hedwighigh

I never thought about it when I started and I wish I had because it really made me sad when I found out that I had loose skin. However, if I really think about it, I would rather have some loose skin than be around 80 pounds overweight. I'm sure my boyfriend feels the same way and although I'm incredibly self-conscious about it - I was worse at 225. I feel much more attractive now and I'm much happier.

It's taken me more than a year and a half to lose 70 pounds and I still have the mentality that I'm fat. I still don't recognize myself in the mirror and I always assume that other girls are thinner than me when apparently that's not always the case. I feel weird next to my bean pole boyfriend but everyone else thinks we're precious and cute together. I don't look huge next to him anymore. I wonder if I'll ever get rid of the "fat girl" mentality but that's not what is important. What's important is that I am better, I am happier, I am more confident than I was, I am healthier, I no longer have to use my inhaler all the time, I've learned what self-control is, I enjoy exercising now, I crave water, and I'm improving more and more everyday.

That's more important than worrying about what might happen. You will be happier, you will be cuter, you will be healthier. A flat butt and love handles can be fixed with consistent working out. Loose skin depends on so many different factors, but don't worry about because it may not be something that you have to worry about. If you want to reduce the chance? Moisturize, exercise (cardio and weights), drink water, lose slow, and hope for the best.

Keep that mindset that you found and go forward. You can do it!

Edited for grammar

HaRLo24

Everyone has had great suggestions! Just try to remind yourself, it's about overall physical health and how you feel, not to mention the great sense of accomplishment you will have when you reach your goal; any marks you have are battle scars!

In regards to stretch marks, I can tell you that they do fade overtime, but unfortunately many studies and research have shown that it's difficult to make them completely dissappear. I know that for me, Bio-Oil has been really helpful in minimizing them, as well as a little bit of self-tanner. And when I get frustrated with them, I refer to this:







Oh my god I love this! Can I use it for my ticker background?

Pebble321

I've only been on this site for a few days and have already had success and found a mind set I didn't know I possessed in terms of weight loss and health. But I found myself thinking today, "what if I lose all of the weight and I still fall short of my expectations?"
What if I have a lot of skin left over? What if my stretch marks don't go away? What if I'm not as cute as I hoped I would be when I'm thin? What if I have a weird body shape with a flat butt and love handles that wont go away?----what if the reality wont be as good as the fantasy in my head of what it will be like when I'm thin?

Does anyone else have these thoughts or is just me? And if anyone does have these though how do you keep them from sabotoging your weight loss?

To be honest - I'd be surprised if anyone is ever entirely satisfied with their body. It seems to be human nature to want something that we don't have.... and when we have it, we find something else to crave!

Your basic body shape isn't going to change into something totally different when you lose weight, you are going to be a smaller and healthier version of you. And that's a great thing!

I am 20kg smaller than this time last year and I love being able to walk into a shop and fit into just about any size 12 (US 8). I love being able to walk up stairs without puffing and having to stop half way. I love being able to run and feeling good when I'm wearing shorts or a running skirt, I love it when I find old clothes (like last year works shirt that is 3 sizes bigger) and I realise how much smaller I am. I love feeling stronger both physically and mentally.

If I'm honest, I'm not so fond of my flabby inner thighs or the veins that stand out on the back of my hands or my stringy looking neck or the fact that my bra is only half full.

But, I'm willing to accept that the overall package looks and feels better, so I can live with those other things.

AmerTunsi

It's common for many people to think this way ... but the best advice I can give you is to let go of all the "what if's." If you focus so much on this you can become self-destructive with your thoughts and lose your motivation and will power. I know people say "what is the point if you lose the fat to replace it with lose skin, and then remove the lose skin to replace it with scars."

But I have reminded myself that there is a far greater list of things I will gain that are positive. That lose skin, the stretch marks, and even the scars are all reminders of my journey ... whether they will be there to keep me from ever going back there or simply to remind me that I survived and I'm still here. They are in essence our own battle wounds and possibly our own badges of accomplishment.

And during your journey you can always try to do things that can improve the end results of these things.

The reality is that the stretch marks don't ever really go away. There are things you can do to greatly improve their appearance ranging from what you put into your body like water and foods Salmon and Spinach.. to topical things you can do to keep the skin moisturized and even laser surgery.

Lose skin, well that is a possibility ... but it's far better than being over weight and all the health problems that come with it. Again you can do things to help reduce the lose skin by losing the weight slowly, strength training to replace the fat with muscle, and of course having it surgically removed.

b0t23

i would rather be fit and healthy with stretch marks than over weight and feeling like crap about myself.

Once your initial big surge of weight comes off, slow down and work on strengthening your body and feeling better about your diet.

The weight will come off and you will feel well-balanced and your skin will tighten, stretch marks will fade.

SmashleeWpg

Everyone has had great suggestions! Just try to remind yourself, it's about overall physical health and how you feel, not to mention the great sense of accomplishment you will have when you reach your goal; any marks you have are battle scars!

In regards to stretch marks, I can tell you that they do fade overtime, but unfortunately many studies and research have shown that it's difficult to make them completely dissappear. I know that for me, Bio-Oil has been really helpful in minimizing them, as well as a little bit of self-tanner. And when I get frustrated with them, I refer to this:







Oh my god I love this! Can I use it for my ticker background?

Of course, go nuts!

aegira

Perky boobs :laugh: :laugh:
Sorry I'm laughing hysterically because having children put paid to those over 28 years ago
Stretch marks yup got them to see above reply :happy:
I'm losing weight and this time keeping it off, yes the loss of perky boobs and the gaining of stretch marks and saggy skin sadden me at times, but then I look at my 2 awesome adult children and realise the trade off was worth it :bigsmile:
At 50 I'm thankful for all of the pluses in life, I'm loved (just the way I was) and as I am now, I'm enjoying a new lease on life and a new guy in my life :blushing: I am eating healthier and exercising daily - okay I can't do everything I used to do (arthritis makes me a little slower :grumble: ) but geez I'm have a blast at this time of my life and doing the things I want and not what others expect. So I say embrace who you are including the not so great things (stretch marks, not so perky boobs).
I got a negative comment once from a 'girl' at the gym about my stretch marks I simply smiled sweetly at her and said "These are called my life experiences...what's your excuse"

gregavila

Part of this journey for each of us is learning to love ourselves. We are not just losing weight, but should also be looking at some of the things that got us there in the first place like our relationship with food and what makes us eat, how we feel about our bodies, etc.

You may have a lot of questions as you are just getting started but remember to take things a day at a time and deal with items as they come up.

michael300891

I've only been on this site for a few days and have already had success and found a mind set I didn't know I possessed in terms of weight loss and health. But I found myself thinking today, "what if I lose all of the weight and I still fall short of my expectations?"
What if I have a lot of skin left over? What if my stretch marks don't go away? What if I'm not as cute as I hoped I would be when I'm thin? What if I have a weird body shape with a flat butt and love handles that wont go away?----what if the reality wont be as good as the fantasy in my head of what it will be like when I'm thin?

Does anyone else have these thoughts or is just me? And if anyone does have these though how do you keep them from sabotoging your weight loss?

Never ever be satisfied is my answer. Think about it, you set yourself a goal: Lose 20lbs. You lost that and your satisfied with your body. You lose the motivation to diet, you put the weight back on. Only way you can work is if once you hit the 20lb goal you set a new one. If your happy with your weight perhaps add 5lbs of muscle or train to run a marathon - anything thatll keep you going.

EDIT - THink i may have misunderstood your post - Sorry, dont have any advice for stretch marks or anything like that =(