Final semester of college jitters.

l0renders

I am a senior in my final semester as an Undergrad and I am absolutely dying over being over weight. I am 4'11" and I weight about 150lbs. It doesn't really show that I weigh that much, but I do look way to heavy. I am not sure how I hide it as well as I do, because even I don't think I look as fat as I know I am. Anyhow, aside from that..

school is killing me. I am stressed out of my eyes balls.
Constantly doing homework.
Sitting in class studying.
Sleeping like it's going out of style.
No energy.. extreme exhaustion.
Suffering from depression, but pretty silent about it.
But most of all, my body image is what's killing me on the inside.

My boyfriend died 3 years ago when I was 20 and he was 19 of what I like to refer to as sudden brain cancer.
I say the word sudden, because one moment he was perfectly healthy and normal and then the next he was
sick with headaches, and then it was discovered to be brain cancer and then 5 and a half months later he was dead.

Just like that.
Life hits you like a ton of bricks sometimes.

But since this has happened, I have had many lows. I am at least in my final semester of undergrad, which for the most part I never thought I would even make it to..

But while on this journey, I have put on close to 45lbs.

I really can't take looking at myself anymore.
I can't stand waking up and knowing I am heavy because I was so sad over his sickness and then death that I just A) didn't do anything but sleep for a few months until my parents made me get out of bed and ate emotionally when I was super sad.

I need to change my body. For my sanity's sake.
I think it would contribute to me getting on the route to happiness.
In some way, shape, or form.

So yea, I need some encouragement.
Just to make it through the day, the week (this is mid term week) and to make it through this last leg of the trip of college. I want to come out of it a few pounds less and looking and feeling happier about it.

I really need some help. I have no idea where to begin. I am a busy person and so many things don't fit into my lifestyle. I just need some advise on where to start.

ecrawf3

I would like to say that I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like things have been really hard for you lately, but just know that everyday things are getting better. You have already proved your strength by sticking with college and trying to make a change in your life. I have faith in you. (: You can do this. You will be happier someday and more then everything you will be proud of yourself for making it so far. (: Keep up the good work.