Negative posts

chrishgt4

*Disclaimer* This may go against forum rules somehow if it's classed as insults or whatnot, but I don't mean it in that way - it's just a genuine comment on some stuff I've seen recently, and 2 particular instances today. *Disclaimer*

So is it just me, or are there a lot of people on here who seem to take pleasure in belittling other people and trying to be all high-and-mighty?

Just today I have seen 2 posts;

one where a guy was asking about possible reasons for his weight gain and wanting some in depth info on water retention. Someone commented along the lines of "do your own research...seriously"

Well, the last time I checked, asking questions forms a large part of research - going to those who have greater knowledge than you.

Then another where a girl who has recently turned 18 created a topic explaining that she wanted the friends she had previously to add her again as her account had been deleted for being underage.

People too this as an opportunity to flame her explaining that rules are there for a reason and that she should deal with it and move on.

Now, from her post, I took it that she was dealing with it and moving on, and she never once moaned that the rules were unfair.

It just seemed like a set of bitter people taking their stresses out anonymously across the internet.


I am far from sensitive about this sort of thing, but it seems more and more that people are just being aggressive and rude just for the sake with no constructive basis behind their comments and I wondered if anyone else had found that.

/rant

i_love_vinegar

THANK YOU! I started a topic yesterday asking whether to send a relationship request yet on FB. It ended up with a lot of people attacking me and was eventually locked.

I will be reporting people from now on, and I think that is a good solution. It was stated yesterday that people will start having their forum privileges revoked more easily from now on, HOWEVER, we need to report people in order to "leave a paper trail."

Here is a link to the topic I started yesterday. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/516108-when-to-send-relationship-request-on-fb

I also saw the topic about the 18 year old girl and reported posts there. I think that is our best options since moderators don't always see what goes on. It is a good way of alerting them to bad behavior.

Again, thank you for posting this and taking the risk of being attacked for standing up for good behavior! :flowerforyou:

gtfcnat

Where's the like/thanks button?

dawnblu

I totally agree! I read some of those same threads and it depressed me to see all the negativity... really - this site is all about building each other up and marching down this healthy path together. I wish people could just be more positive. I'm really happy about my progress so far. I don't do everything right, but I've lost weight and inches and got a new swimwsuit for water aerobics in a smaller size - got compliments too! That's enough for me... I'm doing this for me and not all the haters out there who want to tell me what I'm doing wrong. It's working so it's right! :happy:
Kudos to you for pointing it out!

AllanMisner

As to the first point (water retention), I'm seeing this more and more. There is this thought that people should Google and search for information rather than ask in an open forum. I understand what they are saying, but it is very alarming that we are moving away from something important, actually talking and sharing information with each other. We used to do that before Google existed. It is an important part of being human and it is going away.

On your second point (18 year old), I've seen that people aren't paying attention any more. They don't take the time to read/listen to the second sentence to understand the context. Had they stopped to look at the context of the post, they likely wouldn't have attacked. We can thank the Internet for that as well. People won't do that in person. At least they didn't. Eventually, that might be the norm offline.

For all the good the Internet has done for us, there are a lot of negatives that are seldom discussed.

Joannie30

*Disclaimer* This may go against forum rules somehow if it's classed as insults or whatnot, but I don't mean it in that way - it's just a genuine comment on some stuff I've seen recently, and 2 particular instances today. *Disclaimer*

So is it just me, or are there a lot of people on here who seem to take pleasure in belittling other people and trying to be all high-and-mighty?

Just today I have seen 2 posts;

one where a guy was asking about possible reasons for his weight gain and wanting some in depth info on water retention. Someone commented along the lines of "do your own research...seriously"

Well, the last time I checked, asking questions forms a large part of research - going to those who have greater knowledge than you.

Then another where a girl who has recently turned 18 created a topic explaining that she wanted the friends she had previously to add her again as her account had been deleted for being underage.

People too this as an opportunity to flame her explaining that rules are there for a reason and that she should deal with it and move on.

Now, from her post, I took it that she was dealing with it and moving on, and she never once moaned that the rules were unfair.

It just seemed like a set of bitter people taking their stresses out anonymously across the internet.


I am far from sensitive about this sort of thing, but it seems more and more that people are just being aggressive and rude just for the sake with no constructive basis behind their comments and I wondered if anyone else had found that.

/rant

Yes i have found this -though i should stress not personally (at least so far). I've just observed it on various posts that i've read. To be honest, I am quite new to this and have a lot of questions about dieting/healthy eating etc but i'm often deterred from asking them in case I am met with some of the attitudes I have seen on these forums. In some cases, people are just responding in a sarcastic/rude manner without actually adding any real, beneficial content to the threads. I wouldn't like to speculate as to why people respond in this way, that's their business but it's not helpful. If anything it probably reduces motivation rather than supporting, which is what we are all here for.

To be balanced though, I have also noticed that there are a lot of people who provide extremely helpful and supportive advice/comments and long may those continue! Losing weight is a challenge- physically and emotionally and any positive/constructive assistance we can have throughout the journey is welcome!

I don't think there is anyone among us who would deny that we are fortunate to have such an in-depth resource which is free and is helping us all to reach our goals. Its just a shame that a select few choose to use it in a negative way.

deejay7806

yeah with u all the way...read the post with the girl being under age..... myself didnt think she said anything to warrant the aggresive comments that she got..... my thoughts were.... at least she is doing something about her weight..... but think as the general rule..there are some people who can b quite nasty in what they say...mayb if they worded things differently wouldnt come across as bad...

psiren28

Yeah, seen quite a lot of it and I find it all a bit pathetic really. And it usually end up with the sarky peeps saying it was all a joke because it's 'chit chat' or whatever and that people who are being generally nice should get a sense of humour. Yeah right! Jokes are funny, you'd have to have a pretty crap sense of humour to find being nasty to people funny.

This place can be a bit cliquey and anyone not part of a 'cool group' is going to get bashed for posting innocent questions or something that's been covered before. But hey, for every *kitten* there's a ton of decent people who genuinely try to help so it's all good

Lovesparklesandcupcakes

Agreed - constructive criticism is one thing and is generally appreciated if it comes from a place of wanting to help and inspire. Being rude, ignorant, and *****y just brings negativity to the entire process for not only the original poster but everyone that reads the thread as well. This is supposed to be a forum where we can openly and honestly express ourselves regardless of how silly or stupid someone else may find what we have to say - if you don't like my thread you don't have to read it and you certainly don't have to comment. My mommy always told me "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all"...well...she didn't really...but she should have :-)

heartshines

People tend to be the resident expert and do not want to help others. They only want to better themselves...or simply act like they know everything.
I assume most of us are here for the same reason..to lose weight and lean on others for support. I enjoy the forums and do hate seeing where the 'omniscient' ones just put others down. Obviously, we are not as perfect as they.

Let the haters be motivators.

Shriffee

I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they aren't jerks, but just really hungry and irritable. Hahaha....

Qattusa

Wow, it is so refreshing to see someone with such a good attitude who is willing to stand up for other people. I am impressed - I hope there are more friendly and nice people like you out there.

x

jeskate

Thanks for starting this thread. People need to chill, and not get so antsy at things that have no particular effect on them! I nearly posted on that 17/18year girl thread but.. what's the point?

Laura8603

Well said!! There is never any reason to be mean.

Tiff587

Well said! Some of the responses I have read on hear have made me scared to post anything!

Haters are everywhere, but I think they make themselves a lot more miserable than they make us! After all, they have to live with themselves, we just delete and move on!

When I joined I though this would be all about support and was really keen to get a group of friends who support each other. I have been lucky to get a great group of friends, and have delete people that hate on each other. I don't need negative people in my life, and on here I can just delete them! :laugh:

It all about support for me! I love seeing people succeed at their goals!

:flowerforyou:

Sophiepoo

THANK YOU! I started a topic yesterday asking whether to send a relationship request yet on FB. It ended up with a lot of people attacking me and was eventually locked.

I will be reporting people from now on, and I think that is a good solution. It was stated yesterday that people will start having their forum privileges revoked more easily from now on, HOWEVER, we need to report people in order to "leave a paper trail."

Here is a link to the topic I started yesterday. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/516108-when-to-send-relationship-request-on-fb

I also saw the topic about the 18 year old girl and reported posts there. I think that is our best options since moderators don't always see what goes on. It is a good way of alerting them to bad behavior.

Again, thank you for posting this and taking the risk of being attacked for standing up for good behavior! :flowerforyou:

I just went through that post you made - dont know why some of them felt the need to comment, lols. Ignore them

chrishgt4

This is it - if you think I'm stupid, move on. If you don't care about what I have to say, move on.

I think one has to be particularly sad to actively go out of their way to post on something they have no interest in purely to mock the OP.

As above, I don't mind constructive criticism, and I don't want everything to be all sugar coated and sweet, and sometimes there's the time for the harsh word and a bit of debate. It's just when it a) puts others off posting and b) makes the place look like it's full of unhelpful people, when in fact as pointed out above, the majority want to help.

On a side note - regarding ilovevinegar's topic - you're saying how it feels like you've known that guy forever etc - well my best mate and I met at high school on the first day, and we just got on like we we'd known each other since forever.

We are still best mates to this day 18 or 19 years on.

Sophiepoo

This is it - if you think I'm stupid, move on. If you don't care about what I have to say, move on.

I think one has to be particularly sad to actively go out of their way to post on something they have no interest in purely to mock the OP.

As above, I don't mind constructive criticism, and I don't want everything to be all sugar coated and sweet, and sometimes there's the time for the harsh word and a bit of debate. It's just when it a) puts others off posting and b) makes the place look like it's full of unhelpful people, when in fact as pointed out above, the majority want to help.

On a side note - regarding ilovevinegar's topic - you're saying how it feels like you've known that guy forever etc - well my best mate and I met at high school on the first day, and we just got on like we we'd known each other since forever.

We are still best mates to this day 18 or 19 years on.

Sadly, there are a lot of troll groupies that like to hop on the troll bandwagon for troll protection. This usually comes with a plus 1 in sarcy useless comments.
This happens on every forum board and every online game and it's lamez0rz.

Buddhasmiracle

I concur with the OP's post. While there are an incredible number of people here who are helpful and provide intelligent and thoughtful feedback, there is a strong undercurrent of people who pounce on an OP or other posters that are nothing more than personal attacks, not respectfully articulated differences of opinion, or a difference in understanding of facts about a subject matter. I've also seen OPs who post a subject and ask for others' opinions, then proceed to tear into anyone whose opinion is different from theirs. Why ask?!

Again, I emphasize that I am relatively new to this forum, and I've also had very positive experiences and I am very thankful to individuals whom I've pm'd with specific questions about nutrition and exercise, and they were very generous with their information and time, and provided me with feedback.

chrishgt4

That's it, the concern is that a new user comes on and the negative outweigh the positive and they leave.

I have noticed people deal with disagreement in a very grown up manner as well though which always impresses me when I see it.

rebeccazeno

Unfortunately you'll find these kind of people everywhere you go. It's the people that can only build themselves up off the backs of other people. They seem to search out posts to attack. When I run across them in whatever forum I'm in, I try to treat them as if they are throwing a temper tantrum like a 2 year old. They are just trying to get attention and I won't give them that benefit and usually they will move on. If you start defending yourself to them, it feeds their need and they will just continue.

It's sad that some people are like this but we have to remember, it's their own personal problem and not the OP.

Kuddo's to you for pointing it out...:-)

i_love_vinegar

I just went through that post you made - dont know why some of them felt the need to comment, lols. Ignore them

Thanks! I hid a lot of people I just wish they would do the same.

i_love_vinegar

On a side note - regarding ilovevinegar's topic - you're saying how it feels like you've known that guy forever etc - well my best mate and I met at high school on the first day, and we just got on like we we'd known each other since forever.

We are still best mates to this day 18 or 19 years on.

Wow Thanks for the understanding That is very inspirational! :flowerforyou:

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

in rergards to posts where people are asking for sincere help, it disgusts me to see people not actually helping them. The stuff in the chit chat and/or rule breaking, well, sorry to say, but the responses to those are not going to fair as well, especially chit chat section; that's like a free for all madness.

ChristineW82

I don't understand how these negative people are making/keeping any friends. I guess they are all just sticking together.

I think it's one thing to disagree with someone, and a completely different thing to bash them. People that are here to create negativity and drama needs to take it back to facebook. :huh: