Seeking Professional Advice

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Replies

  • marbit
    marbit Posts: 108
    can you let us know how it works out? i would be curious to know!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    You've tried 1, now it's time for 2. Saving your own job is way more important than being viewed as a tattle, especially if your entire team is on board with the fact that she's putting the rest of you in jeopardy.
  • L00py_T0ucan
    L00py_T0ucan Posts: 1,378 Member
    If all else fails...I know a guy...

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Not to make light of a professional problem, but I just thought this was funny because the OP's ticker says BECAUSE BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF PEOPLE IS ILLEGAL, so yeah. time for a hit man...
  • Anomalia
    Anomalia Posts: 506 Member
    #2
  • Sabresgal63
    Sabresgal63 Posts: 641 Member
    I would make your administrators aware of it before I approached this woman. This way, when she throws a hissy, and she will..........your upper hands will know why and then let them handle it. It's kind of like computer college courses. Your grade is reflected by others work and if they don't put the effort in, you get a bad grade............it stinks! Don't let this woman continuously take you and the others down. Have you discussed this with the other members of the group? what do they think? Maybe you can all go to the administrators and have them tell her..............shape up or ship out...............just a thought.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I would not approach her again. I would make your supervisor aware. I'm not sure how things work in the school system, but in my field, that's what I would do. I would let my manager deal with her manager. You're not being a tattle. Think of it as doing the right thing for the school.

    This is why I don't work well with others...I dislike picking up on others' slack.
  • kaetmarie
    kaetmarie Posts: 668 Member
    I would approach her again, but a little differently. I would say something along the lines of, "Here's the situation...this is what needs to happen for us to work effectively as a team. I've done these things (site examples) and I need you to (site examples). I'm going to work on improving (something that you're going to work on, so she's not super defensive!). If we can't make this work on our own, I'm unfortunately going to have to take it to the next level. I'm sorry, but it's in the best interest of our students and that's why we're here." <-- (because that's what it should ultimately be about)

    If that doesn't work, like you told her, I would take it to admin ... but I think it's important that you tell her first before you do that, otherwise it can be super damaging to your professional relationship (if she ends up staying) and can make things worse. I think honesty and being upfront are always the best policy.

    Good luck! This sounds like a total pain!

    ETA: I would also to make sure to document your conversations to share with your admin, so if it comes down to that you are able to show them that you did attempt to solve the problem and that the problem is HER!
  • Geeky_Girl
    Geeky_Girl Posts: 239 Member
    I would check with the rest of the group and document the areas where you, and the others, feel this person has not meet expectations. I would not confront her with the entire group; she will feel attacked and ganged up on and automatically be defensive no matter what is said (then she'll report that you all attacked her verbally).

    Present your documentation to her (include dates, times, specific instances, anything you can) and let her know that everyone is behind you on this. If she's still the same, present the exact same thing to the admin (be sure the rest of the team is behind you on this before you tell the admin they are).

    You could always just leave it alone too. If she's that aggressive, she won't like to be confronted again (or have admin told about her actions/inactions). She may make it more difficult for you if admin doesn't do anything about it. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
  • ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll
    ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll Posts: 431
    :flowerforyou:
  • tig_ol_bitties
    tig_ol_bitties Posts: 561 Member
    You're a teacher. This may sound dramatic, but the future is LITERALLY in your hands, and this other teacher's as well. It may sometimes seem like it's all behind the scenes stuff, but in the end, it DOES have an effect on the children. If you're worried about sounding like a "tattle" just think of what you are doing as being in the childrens' best interest.
  • LindaCWy
    LindaCWy Posts: 463 Member
    Try number one but within your team so that there are several people involved. Going behind her back will make her even more hositle because she knows you cant trust her.

    IMHO I appreciate when people come say things to my face, but I'm not a hostile person so I can't relate to that part.
  • nakabi
    nakabi Posts: 589 Member
    I would suggest that you get the whole team involved either to come to her as a team with your concerns or to go to the administration as a team with your concerns.

    If your team is not willing to come together to confront an issue that obviously affects all of you, I would consider going to the administration and suggesting that you have lost confidence in your ability to function within this team and explain to them your concerns.

    If all else fails...I know a guy...

    THIS
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
    I would try #1 again and if that doesn't work, move on to #2.
    this. just so she has one more opportunity to get it together before you do something drastic. I feel like that is the better way to go about it.
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
    Is corporal punishment still allowed in schools?

    :laugh: In ours, actually, yes. The parents decided on it.
    that's terrible!
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    Is corporal punishment still allowed in schools?

    :laugh: In ours, actually, yes. The parents decided on it.
    that's terrible!
    Parents choice, not theirs. I think you should be able to beat other people's children.
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,079 Member
    You're a teacher. This may sound dramatic, but the future is LITERALLY in your hands, and this other teacher's as well. It may sometimes seem like it's all behind the scenes stuff, but in the end, it DOES have an effect on the children. If you're worried about sounding like a "tattle" just think of what you are doing as being in the childrens' best interest.

    Thank you-- definitely puts things in perspective.
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,079 Member
    can you let us know how it works out? i would be curious to know!

    Will do.
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,079 Member
    Thank you for all of the mature responses that do not presume to know me personally and professionally! :flowerforyou:
  • nerdyandilikeit
    nerdyandilikeit Posts: 2,185 Member
    Thank you for all of the mature responses that do not presume to know me personally and professionally! :flowerforyou:

    Maybe you should take notes for the future.
  • tig_ol_bitties
    tig_ol_bitties Posts: 561 Member
    Thank you for all of the mature responses that do not presume to know me personally and professionally! :flowerforyou:

    I can be nice sometimes :-)
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,079 Member
    Thank you for all of the mature responses that do not presume to know me personally and professionally! :flowerforyou:

    I can be nice sometimes :-)

    I can take criticism sometimes. :wink:
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    Thank you for all of the mature responses that do not presume to know me personally and professionally! :flowerforyou:

    Maybe you should take notes for the future.

    Was that really necessary?
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    Good morning! :smile:

    I'm a teacher, and we team teach. I've been dealing with the same issue (with the same coworker) for about 3 years now. We have a yearly evaluation to confirm whether or not we are doing our job correctly. If we do not receive a satisfactory evaluation, we are not offered a contract for the next year. Part of our evaluation considers how well we work with our team.

    This team member consistently does not meet deadlines, turn things in on time, etc., and it reflects badly on the team. When one of us is not upholding our duties, we all look bad. She has a very strong personality, and everyone on our team is afraid to "speak up" about it to her. I have approached her about it in the past, with a very nice attitude (i.e. "I really don't want you to get in trouble for this; trying to help you out"), and she has responded in a very hostile way, with zero change to the situation.

    I feel the issue needs to be taken care of. Which do you think would be more professional, and why?

    1. Approach her yet again, and run the risk of her being hostile/starting an argument/being angry with the team.

    2. Make our administrators aware of it. (I really don't want to be a tattle, though.)


    Thank you for your help!
    Straight up: that person feels they are doing fine. You NEED to lay it out straight, but make sure you have ample backup of all the issues that's been ongoing. Unless you have evidence to back it, it will be just argumentative. It's hard to argue against if your concerns have the evidence to back it. Then you flat out have to say that it can't be tolerated anymore and if they are unwilling to fix the problem, you can get someone else that will.
    It's not personal, it's business.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition


    I agree with this, btw. Coming in with an evidence based argument is crucial, and at the end of the day, this is your job and they need to understand that your job is more important than appeasing them.
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,079 Member
    Thank you for all of the mature responses that do not presume to know me personally and professionally! :flowerforyou:

    Maybe you should take notes for the future.

    Was that really necessary?

    I think she means well. :smile:
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
    This may help.

    http://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Second/dp/0071771328/ref=dp_ob_title_bk
    and
    http://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Confrontations-Resolving-Promises-Expectations/dp/0071446524/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b

    Good luck
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    "if you find you are getting close to timelines and are worried that you won't make deadlines, let me know and I will help out whenever I can"

    This approach has led to me pulling her weight and doing her work for the last 3 years. I am SO sick of it.

    That is what I was thinking...this offer just gives people that are already slacking an excuse to slack even more.

    I would see if the whole team would be willing to discuss it with her again (probably best to do it one on one she doesn't feel attacked) and if that still brings out the nasty attitude and no change, go to the administration.

    Some people rely on that strong (ie: jerk) attitude because they know most of us want to avoid conflict and won't push the issue.

    There is one in every office I have ever been in. :grumble:
  • nerdyandilikeit
    nerdyandilikeit Posts: 2,185 Member
    Thank you for all of the mature responses that do not presume to know me personally and professionally! :flowerforyou:

    Maybe you should take notes for the future.

    Was that really necessary?

    Sure was.
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