Why r folks so afraid of healthy debate?

Erinslove

Why are people so afraid of healthy debate?

It is possible to debate issues without resorting to nasty personal attacks on the poster. When something really strikes me I will often share my disagreement. Sometimes with humor, sometimes with sarcasm, sometimes gently. Often, I get angry responses and I have had people then call me ugly (I now don't have a personal picture), read my bio and make fun of me for it (I no longer have a bio) and continue to attack me personally. I think it shows a lack of intelligence. Quote me all you want and disagree vehemently with the content of my ideas if you wish. It makes for interesting dialogue. However, getting irate indicates you have personal issues and character assasination is not only unproductive but also mean.

I also get amused by the scads of people who tell me I am angry because I have posted that I disagree with something. No matter how often you tell me I am angry and miserable (and all the silly things I have had said) doesn't make it true. If you are angry own it but quit accusing me. I am actually able to function in this world simultaneously holding and fighting for an array of very strong ethics, morals, and beliefs AND remain calm and be ok with the knowledge that many people disagree with me. Being "ok" doesn't mean being silent. And silent I rarely am.

I even read other people's arguments, think about them and *gasp* sometimes change my mind because I learn something. Other times, I keep my belief and I respond to discredit the argument or the idea - but not to verbally abuse the person with the idea.

CalorieNinja

I think people are so "afraid" to debate because many people have been taught at a young age to be politically correct. Also, I have found I can debate in person but when it is online people seem to hide behind a screenname and don't take into consideration other people and will attack instead of debate. So, call me afraid to debate but it is a hassle for me to do on the internet for those reasons

yoovie

Unfortunately - most of the debates come down to these people approve vs these people dont.

The people that approve of something are silly and open minded and laid back and infuse the situation with humor. (whether its tattoos, cursing in front of kids, tracking sex as a workout, fasting or running barefoot)

People that don't approve or dont participate in said food/habit/activity- usually seem to get personally outraged that there are people different from them, and results in their name calling, blind judgement and the sentencing of their souls (regardless if it is about tattoos, cursing in front of kids, tracking sex as a workout, fasting or running barefoot)

GoldspursX3

Might have something to do with your approach. When someone posted a "date my daughter application" as a joke you turned it into an attack on the boy scouts accusing them to be homophobic. That was meant to be a fun post not a debate. If other people are getting a laugh out of something that doesn't harm you, do you really need to be a party pooper and spoil that by creating a debate?

Time and place is everything.

Erinslove

I think people are so "afraid" to debate because many people have been taught at a young age to be politically correct. Also, I have found I can debate in person but when it is online people seem to hide behind a screenname and don't take into consideration other people and will attack instead of debate. So, call me afraid to debate but it is a hassle for me to do on the internet for those reasons

Actually, that makes a lot of sense to me. I think people do get more "out of hand" because they are sitting safely at home. I mean, I try to always have integrity; however, I am by no means perfect and I have said things that I regret because in retrospect they seem too harsh. So, I can totally see why someone would abstain altogether. I think abstaining is better than attacking everyone relentlessly.

Lauren8239

I notice that it just takes one person to post a nasty/negative post, and the others laying in wait jump on the bandwagon with glee. I find it disturbing.

liftingbro

Why are people so afraid of healthy debate?

It is possible to debate issues without resorting to nasty personal attacks on the poster. When something really strikes me I will often share my disagreement. Sometimes with humor, sometimes with sarcasm, sometimes gently. Often, I get angry responses and I have had people then call me ugly (I now don't have a personal picture), read my bio and make fun of me for it (I no longer have a bio) and continue to attack me personally. I think it shows a lack of intelligence. Quote me all you want and disagree vehemently with the content of my ideas if you wish. It makes for interesting dialogue. However, getting irate indicates you have personal issues and character assasination is not only unproductive but also mean.

I also get amused by the scads of people who tell me I am angry because I have posted that I disagree with something. No matter how often you tell me I am angry and miserable (and all the silly things I have had said) doesn't make it true. If you are angry own it but quit accusing me. I am actually able to function in this world simultaneously holding and fighting for an array of very strong ethics, morals, and beliefs AND remain calm and be ok with the knowledge that many people disagree with me. Being "ok" doesn't mean being silent. And silent I rarely am.

I even read other people's arguments, think about them and *gasp* sometimes change my mind because I learn something. Other times, I keep my belief and I respond to discredit the argument or the idea - but not to verbally abuse the person with the idea.

Funny you're the one starting this sort of thread.

CalorieNinja

Are you saying I can't track sex... Damn I have been doing it wrong all this time LOL
(see I infused funny here :laugh: )

Acg67

yoovie

Might have something to do with your approach. When someone posted a "date my daughter application" as a joke you turned it into an attack on the boy scouts accusing them to be homophobic. That was meant to be a fun post not a debate. If other people are getting a laugh out of something that doesn't harm you, do you really need to be a party pooper and spoil that by creating a debate?

Time and place is everything.

whoa excellent point. Yeah there are a ton of people on here that have suffocatingly reserved humor and get their pants all uproared over non-stuff.

Erinslove

Might have something to do with your approach. When someone posted a "date my daughter application" as a joke you turned it into an attack on the boy scouts accusing them to be homophobic. That was meant to be a fun post not a debate. If other people are getting a laugh out of something that doesn't harm you, do you really need to be a party pooper and spoil that by creating a debate?

Time and place is everything.

Well 1st, be accurate. I was by far not the 1st to oppose the post. I was just the one people decided to focus on. And, I didn't turn it into anything. I shared information. It is a fact that the Boy Scouts are homophobic. And the fatal flaw of your argument is that "the post wasn't causing harm." I have studied for years about the ill effects that discrimination causes in our society and words and jokes perpetuate attitudes. Lastly, this post is not only referring to the date application post. This post is a response to several previous personal experience in these forums as well as the way I see people treat others.

neverstray

I think the internet doesn't allow for facial expressions, and vocal inflections, and no emoticons don't work. So, you wind up with a very straight forward way of talking to someone. And, debating sounds like a challenge rather than an exchange of ideas. In person, it's much easier to quickly diffuse a debate that starts to get heated because you can see it coming and break in with some humor or just switch topics real quick. That's harder to do online. Not impossible, but it's harder to take back what you said because they can always go back and read it word for word. In person you can say, "That's not what I meant" and restate it, and smooth it over.

yoovie

I notice that it just takes one person to post a nasty/negative post, and the others laying in wait jump on the bandwagon with glee. I find it disturbing.

Yeah man, Glee always pisses me off.

Erinslove

I notice that it just takes one person to post a nasty/negative post, and the others laying in wait jump on the bandwagon with glee. I find it disturbing.

I agree with this. Some people will be debating just fine and one person turns it nasty and mob mentality ensues.

BrettPGH

Fragile egos. Some people can't handle being wrong. I can, it's just so rare that it happens.


We have a group, Debatable Debating. That's where the real fireworks are.

Erinslove

Why are people so afraid of healthy debate?

It is possible to debate issues without resorting to nasty personal attacks on the poster. When something really strikes me I will often share my disagreement. Sometimes with humor, sometimes with sarcasm, sometimes gently. Often, I get angry responses and I have had people then call me ugly (I now don't have a personal picture), read my bio and make fun of me for it (I no longer have a bio) and continue to attack me personally. I think it shows a lack of intelligence. Quote me all you want and disagree vehemently with the content of my ideas if you wish. It makes for interesting dialogue. However, getting irate indicates you have personal issues and character assasination is not only unproductive but also mean.

I also get amused by the scads of people who tell me I am angry because I have posted that I disagree with something. No matter how often you tell me I am angry and miserable (and all the silly things I have had said) doesn't make it true. If you are angry own it but quit accusing me. I am actually able to function in this world simultaneously holding and fighting for an array of very strong ethics, morals, and beliefs AND remain calm and be ok with the knowledge that many people disagree with me. Being "ok" doesn't mean being silent. And silent I rarely am.

I even read other people's arguments, think about them and *gasp* sometimes change my mind because I learn something. Other times, I keep my belief and I respond to discredit the argument or the idea - but not to verbally abuse the person with the idea.

Funny you're the one starting this sort of thread.

I have no idea why it's funny since I self-identify as enjoying debate and since I don't attack people when I debate it makes perfect sense I would start this thread.

MassiveDelta

But just because someone doesn't agree with a lifestyle does not make them homophobic. I think you threw that term around pretty freely a few minutes ago.
Calling someone or a group associated with a large group of people Homophobic is not only a personal attack but its not even definitively correct.

Please see the definition....http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/homophobia

.... without resorting to nasty personal attacks on the poster.

lizard053

So few people truly understand the difference between healthy debate and being hurtful. Some people take a disagreement with the thought as a personal attack, even when it's clearly meant to be an engagement into a discussion of ideas.

Sitting behind a computer screen makes many people do and say things they would never have done if you were face to face. They don't think that it will ever effect their "real lives" in any way. It's just not true anymore. But being online does seem to give people permission to be obnoxious!

We overall need to encourage people to have a little common courtesy, or at least note when their being sarcastic, etc. Can't we all just be friends?!?

GinNouveau

because people hate being wrong and love being right.

ErinBeth7

Nobody likes confrontation.

ErinBeth7

because people hate being wrong and love being right.

I was just about to say something to that degree.

Also, it is so hard to have a healthy debate because of the level of political correctness society holds these days. You may use a word, such as homophobic, to mean someone who disagrees with the gay lifestyle, but others may see it as someone being ignorant, "throwing" the term around.

So really, I guess the rule "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all," really does apply.