Should I help my friend lose weight?

SoozeE512

I agree with Trixirn, next time you go out with your friend, try to fit in some exercise without it obviously being exercise. Ask her to go window-shopping with you and walk all over a big mall. Or if it's a nice day out, ask her to join you for a short walk at a park just to get some fresh air, maybe tell her it's because you have to blow off some steam or you have a story to tell her.

If she joins you for these walks, she won't even realize you're doing it to try to help her, she'll think she's being a good friend by giving you good company. Who knows, once she starts exercising more, she might feel better about herself and maybe she'll start asking you to go out for walks.

That way, you can avoid the touchy topic of what she eats, and at the same time, be encouraging a different healthy habit.

SocialRopes

the best thing you can do is continue to set a good example for her. she obviously isn't ready, but when she is she will probably approach you about it first since you are on the right path.
weight loss is one of those touchy subjects with friends. i have found that people who are not in the zone and focused on their health do not want to hear you talk about your accomplishments and the things you have been doing to improve yourself. i know from experience ~ when your friends are into their weight loss, even if it's only temporary, they love to talk about it and will embrace your victories with you; when they are no longer in the zone, the last thing they want to hear is that you are being successful. i have friends who think i am "obsessed" when actually i am just focused. (big difference, because trust me, i know people who are truly obsessed and it's not pretty.)
i have lost a couple of friends on this weight loss ride and i've had a couple of other friends who pulled away during my most successful times. the bruises on those relationships will forever be there, but for the sake of the friendships, i have dealt with them and tried to put it behind me.
continue to set a good example ~ best of luck!

irishmist40

oh my goodness....You are a great friend and seem to be worried about your Pal. YES you should help her because maybe she is not in a place to help herself . You will have to be as kind as you can when talking to her and let her understand how important she is to you. Being on the meds might not help her weight as she may be more relaxed about her food choice and lack of exercise but maybe after you talk to her about it ye might do fun exercise things together , even go for a walk together in the evenings and catch up on all the daily news.
Wow I WISH one of my friends had offered to help me out before I got this large, Now they do offer from time to time, I am more than willing to accept the help n company but they are all too busy with their family lives. Talk is cheap but ACTIONS say a 1000 words .

MichelleV1990

Just like with smokers, nobody can make you quit something you know is unhealthy for you until you are ready. Only when your friend has hit rock bottom, will she begin to pull herself out. At that point, she'll need all the support she can get. In the meantime, remind her how much her friendship means to you, and that you'll always be there for her.

splackk

I wouldn't be aggressive about it, but you mentioned that she talks about how she'd like to get back to HS weight. Maybe next time she brings it up you can (casually yet seriously) offer to help her - make it sound like it's for your sake, "Maybe we could work on it together - I could sure use a buddy to keep me accountable!" Otherwise I wouldn't bring it up if she doesn't. I'm sure she's stressed about it and it won't help her or your friendship if she feels like she's being accused or attacked.

I really like this idea! Back in my own high school days my aunt went on a fitness kick, and although I was slim enough at the time she asked me if I would accompany her on her jogs so she had a partner and wouldn’t be so nervous going through the park alone. She would ask me to try out her new healthy recipes as her “guinea pig” and just keep me involved in a way that seemed like I was being the helpful one! She never pushed for me to change my own diet or exercise but just because I spent time with her cooking and working out I ended up reaping the benefits anyway.

After a few months our relationship was super strong, much stronger than it had been, and we looked forward to our bi-weekly jogs and dinners more than anything else because it was just so fun spending time together and bonding. We never discussed the portion sizes or calories burned or anything like that, yet we became very close and both got in excellent shape. Framing the request as if your friend would be the one really helping you out is a great way to get her involved without criticizing her own choices, and maybe if she starts seeing results just as the product of you two spending time together she’ll be motivated to keep on!