on verge of quitting

R_is_for_Rachel

I am feeling really down at the mo. Stressed with work and home and on top of that I am organising a festival and I feel completely lost. I really need time out but because I am paying the mortgage on my own and I'm self employed , I literally can't afford it. It feels like everyone wants a piece of me, but that no one really cares about me.
On top of that I'm failing and flailing with my diet! I've been trying really hard but the weight is barely shifting. I literally have no energy when I get home from work, so exercise seems like a mountain. So it all feels pointless. Plus I have to try and look after the house too.
So i have nothing left in me to keep trying with the diet, even though I feel so utterly disgustingly fat.
I don't know what to do

MermaidFaith

my advice is for you to suck it up and realize that you can do anything, you just have to make yourself do it. There will always be SOMETHING going on that you can use as an excuse, the challenge is getting past that. good luck.

nnylee

Don't quit! Make yourself do it!! If you quit, you're going to look back in a year and be sad that you did quit! Just keep on trucking! Just think of how good you'll look when you reach your goal! You can do it!

No one can make you lose weight except for you. Do you want to keep feeling terrible about being overweight or do you want to make a change? You have only two choices.

michmill98

It sounds like you are definately under a lot of stress right now. Can you get some help with the festival? How about getting up a few minutes earlier and doing some exercise then instead of waiting until you get home? I know I do better about exercising if I get up and do it first thing in the morning vs thinking that I'll do it when I get home! This way it's out of the way and if I do end up working late, I don't have to worry about finding the energy/time to exercise when I get home plus take care of the house.

I say stick with it - even if it is baby steps. I keep reminding myself that I didn't put on the weight in two months so I shouldn't expect it to come off in two months!

harkis

Remember how good you feel after exercising and try to remind yourself that's it's already over, you just had yet to realize it. If you feel terrible just try to fake yourself out. Fake it till you make it, and you most definitely will.

nilleah

Just remember that each day is a new day to decide how you want to live. If you mess up, don't beat yourself up about it. Just take it for what it was and move on. The next meal can be better than the last.

When people are constantly trying to take and take from you, don't feel bad when you have to tell them you can't. You MUST take time for yourself to relax and decompress.

I know how you feel, trust me. I have a husband who is stick think and a 3 year old that I have to feed and take care of on top of work and going to college. I feel your pain. It's extremely difficult to stay focused on dieting when you have a million other things going on. Especially when you have a spouse and child who are NOT dieting in the home that you have to prepare meals for.

Make sure you take time for you and plan! Plan your meals. That will help immensely!

Never2Bz

Sorry to hear you are struggling so much. For health reasons quitting should be 'off the table', so don't try to juggle everything. Get some items organized in your life... your closet... drawers... handbag... car interior... refrigerator... those things reflect the organization of your life (in my opinion). Have a plan for what day to clean house, what day to pay bills, etc. Maybe put it on a list or on a calendar. That will whittle some off the stress. Deal with one day at a time or one hour at a time. I was under stress with work, moving, family, weight, and so on until my hairline showed signs of thinning hair!

When you start seeing the little things get organized it'll give you inspiration to get bigger things organized. Set a date to weigh in each week, set a calorie goal for each day, set a day you want to be one size smaller.... goals always have you aiming for something...

Remember to keep sharing with others. Your MFP community can help! Good job reaching out! And Good Luck!

LisaH1231

I think everyone has shared good advice and I agree. If you quit now you will look back and say what if...what if I did not quit. You will regret it. Trust me I have been there time and time again. Just logging in and posting your food no matter how well you do that day is a start. Take baby steps.

Don't quit.

almst50

If you have an OA (Overeaters Anonymous) near you, GO to it!! It's a wonderful program full of support from people just like you - and they CARE about YOU! It will help you face life with peace and sanity and good food will keep its rightful place.

Ange_

Don't quit.
It sounds like you have a lot going on right now, including some things that are out of your control.
But how you eat and exercise IS in your hands. you'll feel better about yourself and life in general if you achieve in this area of your life, and then probably all the other areas will then fall into place too
But if you can do something proactive to change the amount of stress in your life then do it. Maybe you need to change jobs or something? Being self-employed can really suck. Or ask for help from others.

kristensuz

Yes, its always a struggle. But that is why I pick little goals to strive for. Remember weight loss is not necessarily low weight but less fat! My sister is exactly the shape I want to be. She is a gorgeous size 2....she weighs 130lbs. Its all muscle. Stay on the path and remember that set backs are normal. You can do this...you really can and we will be here to support you!

BIGJIMMYU

Do not quit! You have no idea how lucky you are! Firstly, you have to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST and worry about others after that., secondly, THE MORE YOU EXERCISE THE MORE ENERGY YOU HAVE AND THE LESS STRESSED. This is medically proven. Listen, I care about people and that includes you. Coming on here to have people feel sorry for you solves nothing. I have a job, I do tons of things.3 different shift times sometimes all three the same week. I find the time!
YOU NEED TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST. Hey, we could have been born in a third world country. No food, no money, nothing. I am not rich either. Bills? Plenty! I also have plenty of streets, roads, stairs to exercise on. All free of charge! Lift milk containers for weight if u have to!
I BELIEVE IN YOU! NOW GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

Contrarian

Sticking with it will make you feel better. If we can do it, so can you. We're not so special.

KenDubya74

Never quit...erase that from your vocabulary. The only advice I can give is suck it up, take all the stress, frustration, and negativity the world is throwing at you and unleash it all in your exercise. I tend to do it when I work out and it works well for me.

Loislaine61

I encourage you not to quit. I obviously don't know your lifestyle, but may I make a suggestion? Can you carve out an hour some day just for you. Make an appointment for a massage. (no kidding!) Let them pamper you. Totally relax and let your mind drift away and let go of that stress. If this is not possible perhaps you can find 15 minutes or so to just sit quietly with your eyes closed and force yourself not to think about all you have to do. Make yourself relax.

It sounds to me like you just need to recharge your batteries. You need some "me" time. Just tell everyone you're in a time out and you can't come out and play right now. Your physical and mental health is at stake and you need to take care of YOU.

Please don't quit.

dmchiz

great advice here! I would add that many of the things you are dealing with may be out of your control, but one thing that is within your control, is how you eat, and whether you get up in the mornings and spend 20-30 mins exercising to start your day off right!!! You will feel better both physically and mentally in a week. You will have more energy every day to get those other things done on your list if you start the day with even a 20 min. jog or brisk walk (whatever your fitness level will allow). Once you feel in control of this portion of your life, it will be one less thing to stress about! Just don't quit - look at all the support that is here, just a click away! Good luck to you!

okurerusakura

When things start feeling like they are spiraling out of control in my life, I remind myself that my body is the ONLY thing I have complete control of. I stay off the scale and just focus on eating well and getting in what exercise I can. I even keep track of calories burnt while doing things like cleaning (it is under the cardio options in the exercise data base)! It's one less thing to stress about, and we all know how bad stress is for weight loss! I hope things calm down for you, and that you don't give up!

Stefanie7125

I so want to give you a hug right now, you seem to really need one! Someone suggested help, most festivals have a committee. You should delegate, delegate and delegate. Let the house go for a little while. Unfortunetly the chores will still be there when you are ready and honestly they may not seem that huge after a small work out. You will be so energized! Take a deep breath and jump in!

(((((big hug))))) :flowerforyou:

rjo921

Please don't quit....I know that things are stressful....that things seem like they are not going to get better...and I know it is very easy for me to say those things because I am not in your shoes....but please, please do not give up....don't give up on yourself. That's why there is this message board....so you can seek support and help when you need it. Please, don't give up....you can do this.

becca2222

I can relate to you. In fact, I'm pretty sure most of us can relate in some way; the problem is that if you give up on your diet, you will STILL have all the other things going on, PLUS your weight problem. I agree with several of the other people who are telling you DO NOT GIVE UP, NO MATTER WHAT, because at the end of the day...YOU ARE SO WORTH THE EFFORT.

This weight loss journey that we are all on is just that; a journey, and it will at times, have mountains that seem to tall to climb, but that's where you (and all the rest of us) have to dig in deep, and just take one step at a time, even if it's baby steps.....

Comfort yourself with something you love besides food; maybe music or reading or anything that will give you a boost; just DO NOT GIVE UP.

Best wishes to you and don't forget that we are all here for you. :flowerforyou:

Becca

samb330

(((HUGS))) don't give up. Take a few minutes everyday to just sit for 5 min and relax. Try to clear your mind, and relax your body. Take a 10 min walk and just relax. You'll feel better. We are here for you.

yager8725

ONE meal at a time! Dont stress about the week or the day. ONE MEAL AT A TIME!

cloud2011

I think it was the trainer Bob Green who said, don't try to change too much at once. Pick the nutrition (diet) or exercise and work on one first. Then add the other later. If you feel you are setting yourself up for failure by being overcommitted then give yourself room to maintain your current loss, and then choose a date when you feel you can start again. So, keep logging here, but decide whether you have it in you to lose, or to maintain. Quitting isn't in your list of options, however ; )

Anyway, being overwhelmed is no fun, and it sounds like you have a lot of obligations to take care of.

Just remember, your first obligation is yourself. So, that means taking great care of yourself. Try to remember the care part, and not just the diet and exercise, and all the stuff that makes it seem like a huge challenge. You might need more sleep, a cup of tea, a conversation with a friend, or just a hot bath.

Hang in there!

katiebythebay

Someone suggested getting some help with the festival. I agree. There must be some people near you who would be willing to lend you a hand in planning and executing some of the tasks.

It really is easy for everyone to say don't quit (and they're right) but you need to decide for yourself what's most important. Sounds like you could use some help in other areas too, as well, as the festival plans.

Can you lean on any family members or friends for support (moral or otherwise)? May be there are alternatives to help you pay for the mortgage, too?

I would first, sit down with a pad of paper and write down everything that is stressing you out, then brainstorm ideas on how to make each situation (one at a time) better. Sometimes seeing it on paper makes it easier to categorize and come up with a plan. Also, can you take maybe half a day and do something for you to re-energize yourself - maybe just enough inspiration to push yourself to get this stuff done, in the most efficient way, with a clear mind?

I know you'll be supported here, if/when you decide to stick with the weight loss program. Look at all the concerned people already. :flowerforyou:

~katie

CharityEaton

Hang in there! Like someone else said, none of us are any more special then you are. We just took it one day at a time and slowly but surely we moved forward. If you quite then you are off the path to success and sitting on the side watching us go past you. Stay on the path and move along with us! Some people move quicker than others and some of us are moving along at a nice pace and others are just barely moving but we are ALL on the same path struggling from time to time!
This is no easy task. One of the best things I did for ME was resign from a few of my positions after seveal years of being in charge!
It broke my heart to step down but here I am almost a year later and nearly 30 pounds lighter! The stress of being in charge of so many things was literally draining the life out of me! Step back and evaluate what it is you are doing and if it is worth it for you too. Sometimes we give so much that we forget to take care of ourselves first!

I stepped down as troop leader of 2 Girl Scout troops...nearly 40 little girls that I had to walk away from and I knew "helping" with the troop would not solve the problem I HAD to walk away for an entire year and I do miss the girls but it was very worth it for me and my family. It helped me learn how and when to say yes or no to planning activities and volunteering in general. It had to be done and I feel so much better now!
Consider asking for help if you can or passing the responsiblity all together for a little while! You will be glad you did!

auntiebabs

Don't worry about changing everything at once.
You've got a lot going on in your life... take a moment to breathe

And remember you don't have to be perfect, you just have to be better.

When you completely change your whole life at once, you revert to the familiar in times of stress.
And who doesn't have stress? Having tools to cope with stress is what's important.

For me that was small incremental changes, baby steps
A couple of small changes at a time, then a few weeks later when they've become habit another couple of changes and so on and so on.


Here's how I started:

1) tracking for a couple of weeks before I worried about losing.
(although seeing what I was eating I couldn't help but rein back a bit)

2) seeing where I could make small changes on things that weren't that important to me.
(Don't even think of taking chocolate out of my diet!!!)
--Reducing quantities where I won't notice it so much
--Swapping out things instead of eliminating them.

3) Look at my diary and started adding foods that had positive healthy effects specifically for the health issue in my family.
I found most of the things I "should" add were really yummy too! salmon, avocado, oatmeal, mango, red grapes....
(Sort of think of food as medicine to deal with family history of various health issue oatmeal is good for heart health, mango and red grapes lower cholesterol, tumeric and cinnamon good for arthritis)

4) every couple of weeks I see where I can make another couple of small changes.
If you completely revamp your diet, it's way easy to revert to old ways in times of stress.
If you make a series of small changes, food still offers you some sense of comfort.
sort of a comfort continuum, and after a while the first small changes will seem comforting in themselves.

5) also rather than being uberstrict with the target MFP set for me I did the math to find out the calories needed to maintain my goal weight and my current weight and...
I gave myself a range:
ROCK BOTTOM: 1200 cal,
TARGET: lose 1 lb/wk as my target (once that went down to 1200 cal I switched to lose 1/2 lb a week
HIGH END: maintain my goal weight

As long as I keep within in this range I'll lose. I tend to naturally zig zag my calories 3-4 at very close to my target and then a higher calorie day closer to the top of my range.

SAFETY VALVE: As long as I stayed under maintain my current weight calories I won't gain. So no need to throw in the towel, just pick-up where I left off.

REMEMBER YOU ONLY HAVE 1 POUND TO LOSE, THE NEXT 1!
Once I found ways to lessen the stress, I found it way easier to focus on the process and let the results follow. (It's what worked for me some people need the stress to get them motivated. Me I get scared and overwhelmed and don't see the big goal as achievable.)

Food is not the enemy.
Oddly enough on my journey here I've reduced guilt over food.
I have the occasional treat and I fully enjoy it with no guilt involved.
The thing is since I'm not eating crap all the time the occasional treat is just that a TREAT it's special and I enjoy it so much more than when I was unconsciously shovel junk food into my face.

I figure if I've got a good plan that I can actually maintain I can keep this off for a long time to come, without feeling deprived.

Good Luck

andrea9873

at one point in my life now 16 years ago, i weighed 199 lbs. not sure what that is in kilos but my point is today I ran my first 5K race. You too can do anything you put your mind and heart to. Don't quit on yourself!

andrea9873

also stop calling this journey a diet...diets are destined to fail. call this a new lifestyle of eating right and good clean foods only.

maf66

I would love to try to help you with what you're eating. I bet you're not eating enough protein or fiber! You can tailor your food intake goals to meet your own personal needs, not just what MFP says they should be.

I really would love to help you, befriend me and open that diary, woman!!!

:flowerforyou:

Monti_e_lmt

I am feeling really down at the mo. Stressed with work and home and on top of that I am organising a festival and I feel completely lost. I really need time out but because I am paying the mortgage on my own and I'm self employed , I literally can't afford it. It feels like everyone wants a piece of me, but that no one really cares about me.
On top of that I'm failing and flailing with my diet! I've been trying really hard but the weight is barely shifting. I literally have no energy when I get home from work, so exercise seems like a mountain. So it all feels pointless. Plus I have to try and look after the house too.
So i have nothing left in me to keep trying with the diet, even though I feel so utterly disgustingly fat.
I don't know what to do

went through a time like this and gave in and gained 30lbs, DON'T SLIP you will regret it. I know you are miserable, but did you know that there are foods that improve your mood. Dr Oz has awesome tips about that I am so sorry that you are going through a rough time. I hope it calms down soon. I developed an ulcer bc of my stressful times. Trust me I wish I could go back in time when I was 30 lbs lighter and lose the weight then instead of letting myself go and adding 30 lbs to my already 40lb goal, now I have to lose 70! It happened fast. And it did not help my stress. At the time I felt like everything was out of my hands, I had no hold on my life and I felt deprived so I used food to comfort myself but it only made things worse. Please don't give up. People do care, I care and I don't even know you. The one thing you have control over is your mind. You can take a bad situation and decide not to let it take you down. You can do it honey, just tell yourself you can. Don't give up, those stresses will pass.

maf66

dup sorry