People who try to sabotage my diet!

confuzzledwife

Hi everyone. My biggest pet peeve are those who know I'm trying to lose weight and they tell me I don't need to, they tell me to eat junk, or "go ahead have just one it will be OK", etc., I have no urge to eat anything calorie packed, I'm actually doing pretty good and this site has kept me super motivated!!

Why do people do this? I think the bigger issue is when they tell me I don't have to lose weight! lol.. It's CLEAR that I need to lose weight! I never asked anyone a set up question like "do you think I need to lose weight".. The only time I'll mention I'm losing weight is If they offer me something to eat, (or when I've already had something to eat), that's when I'll mention I'm cutting calories and I'll pass.. when someone tells me they're trying to lose I encourage them. Just not sure how to handle this since it's coming from many directions (husband, daughter, co-workers, clients).

htmlgirl

That happens to me all the time especially when I'm visiting family. I just keep telling them that I'm trying to eat healthier and going for icecream doesn't help that goal.

Kristiina67

Shedding weight is hard! -- I think it is jealousy at times

katem78

Just don't wonder WHY PEOPLE DO THAT.... several reasons, they are jealous, they don't care, they don't understand..etc etc etc...

Stay focused on your target, no explanations on why you are doing what you are doing when they don't understand and push you to eat junk. If someone understands he'll never push you to eat junk food or whatever is not on your diet!

stay focused, with your food and that's about it. Stop wondering WHY.... no use...

I always have people wondering why i'm careful with my diet and why i workout every day.... (even my father tells me to stop working out sometimes)

I don't explain to anyone anymore . It's what makes me feel good with myself!

stay focused and don't bother your mind with others

watboy

I've also had this happen to me even with people on here. "You're doing it wrong" "it's not sustainable" "you need to eat more" "you can eat ......insert food item" "how come you don't" "you work out to much" whatever it is everyone thinks they are a diet expert or a healt expert and somehow know your metabloism and every intereaction in your body when you consume any item. Funny thing is often the people giving advise are either in worse physical shape or are doing things you think are wrong. Nature of this beast. I eat the amount of food I can physically eat and I get the "you need to eat more" or "starvation mode" hmmm millions of Americans and millions of people worldwide who are heatlthy don't know anything about eating calories back or MFP and are perfectly healthy but thats a whole different story. I also hate some family members or friends who say oh you look fine, have a cheesebeurger or whatever. Cracks me up, yah I look fine cus i'm not having cheeseburgers with loaded waffle fries lol. I do eat non-healthy foods sometimes but not a lot. It's a personal preference for me. It's like telling vegetarians or vegans you are eating wrong , you don't get enough protein or you can't live off of veggies all your life. Obviously that's not true, maybe you can't live off of veggies your whole life but they might. Also people confuse eaiting healthy with me dieting.... I'm not on a diet what I eat is my nutritional diet not "dieting". I think people mean well but they sabotage you without concsiously knowing. Everyone if you're not asked for advice maybe you shouldn't give it. On the otherhand if you do ask for it expect that sometimes it will be contradictory or wrong or biased and those few times it might be "right".

joanthemom8

I know! Even my husband sometimes is like that! When his family visits or we visit them, it's the same! Funny, (ironic funny, not ha-ha funny), but his mom and aunts, now that they are older are either borderline diabetic or diabetic and sort-of overweight. But they don't think they eat too much.
I just tell them I'm not hungry or I don't like the food too much (cultural differences, etc.). To my friends, etc., I just say "I'm trying to be good!"

love2cycle

Maybe some people see the amazing difference, and wonder how much better you could possibly look?

jonski1968

My Boss....Constantly brings chocolate biscuits/crisps in to work...Then puts them next to the fridge so i can`t miss them...In turn i either freeze them or they happen to drop on the floor and be stood on..(totally by accident)

marbit

I had to drastically overhaul my diet April of last year because my cholestorol was through the roof and I was prediabetic. Almost everyone was very supportive, but to those that werent, I usually basically just told them that this was my lifestyle change, I wasnt asking them to change their lifestyle, so I woud appreciate them doing me the same courtesy and shrugged them off. Yeah there were some hurt feelings, but once youve said that once, you usually dont have to say it again. Btw, its been a year and I am still eating properly, so to the naysayers who said it wasnt sustainable...hahahaah to you!

abrn93

Hate it too. When I hit my new goal my spouse always brings me chocolate bars, bear claws, etc. I simply say "thanks but you know I don't eat that anymore".

vjrose

Lol, being dairy and gluten free pretty much short circuits all that nonsense, but I can sympathize from earlier attempts to lose weight. I would definitely have that problem with my harley riding friends if I didn't already have dietary restrictions. Sometimes, (especially with salty foods) I take refuge in the old "my doctor will kick my butt" line. She would, she has me on some very specific dietary goals but I can eat anything I want other than that. Kind of fun when we go out though, I get a salad they get pizza and sometimes they are looking at my salad and saying, hey, I should have ordered that. Lol, lead my example, find the most beautiful healthy thing on the menu, or make or bring something cool to any get together and pretty soon they will be asking you how you can eat that way and be on a diet, lol.

lacewitch

sometime I think people are 'tryng' to be nice by saying you fine as you are and that they like you as you are without understanding that you need to do this for yourself,
or
they feel threatened by what you are doing because it is either something thy haven't be able to do or it changes their view of you/ your position in the power/social structure relitive to them and they can't cope.

it has nothing to do with you and is more a reflection on them. say thanks and ignore them.

good luck

❤_veggies_rock_❤

I think we all know how this scenario goes lol
my hardest thing is eating out & making better choices on my order which I am happy to say I feel I do
we went to B-dubs last nite & I had 2 beers instead of 4 or 5 & I didn't order 24 wings with sauce like I used to do so I could have left overs I am so proud of myself for eating less & feeling fuller in the process

jude7701

I think some people do it because they are trying to make light of the fact that they are eating something that isn't healthy. And they want you to join them because it makes them feel better about it. Just politely decline, and leave it at that. I have found most people give up after I look at them, and say no, thank you- if they are persistent, have a witty back up line- but don't take it personally- I think sometimes people can be jealous of another's willpower!

FormerSuperHero

I've also had this happen to me even with people on here. "You're doing it wrong" "it's not sustainable" "you need to eat more" "you can eat ......insert food item" "how come you don't" "you work out to much" whatever it is everyone thinks they are a diet expert or a healt expert and somehow know your metabloism and every intereaction in your body when you consume any item. Funny thing is often the people giving advise are either in worse physical shape or are doing things you think are wrong. Nature of this beast. I eat the amount of food I can physically eat and I get the "you need to eat more" or "starvation mode" hmmm millions of Americans and millions of people worldwide who are heatlthy don't know anything about eating calories back or MFP and are perfectly healthy but thats a whole different story. I also hate some family members or friends who say oh you look fine, have a cheesebeurger or whatever. Cracks me up, yah I look fine cus i'm not having cheeseburgers with loaded waffle fries lol. I do eat non-healthy foods sometimes but not a lot. It's a personal preference for me. It's like telling vegetarians or vegans you are eating wrong , you don't get enough protein or you can't live off of veggies all your life. Obviously that's not true, maybe you can't live off of veggies your whole life but they might. Also people confuse eaiting healthy with me dieting.... I'm not on a diet what I eat is my nutritional diet not "dieting". I think people mean well but they sabotage you without concsiously knowing. Everyone if you're not asked for advice maybe you shouldn't give it. On the otherhand if you do ask for it expect that sometimes it will be contradictory or wrong or biased and those few times it might be "right".

Soozie1978

Lol, being dairy and gluten free pretty much short circuits all that nonsense, but I can sympathize from earlier attempts to lose weight. I would definitely have that problem with my harley riding friends if I didn't already have dietary restrictions. Sometimes, (especially with salty foods) I take refuge in the old "my doctor will kick my butt" line. She would, she has me on some very specific dietary goals but I can eat anything I want other than that. Kind of fun when we go out though, I get a salad they get pizza and sometimes they are looking at my salad and saying, hey, I should have ordered that. Lol, lead my example, find the most beautiful healthy thing on the menu, or make or bring something cool to any get together and pretty soon they will be asking you how you can eat that way and be on a diet, lol.

I find that my allergies and food intolerances are a great way to deal when I'm around coworkers, too. I'm allergic to beef and can't eat gluten. Other things like corn and milk and soy can only be eaten occasionally. I'm also diabetic. So that's my answer to those who bring and eat and offer all sorts of things I shouldn't eat or can't eat. What really bothers me is the other woman who is diabetic and says "Oh, you're so gooood!" as she cuts a huge slice of cake or takes a second helping of some other treat. When she was first diagnosed, I tried to help her, but 2 years later, she's obviously not interested in her health, so I just keep quiet.

redwoodbsq1

I find it's one of 3 things:

1) they notice you've been working hard on your diet and want to 'reward' the hard work with 'something your doing with out'. I get that because I used to 'treat' myself to a snickers bar when I did well on my diet.... then I realized how self defeating that is because a snickers is full of really bad stuff. I know that's a common thing, especially among women. It's only when you start counting calories and can see everything that you understand. I now treat myself to things like nail polish.

2) They haven't dieted in forever and have NO CLUE how bad the stuff is they're offering you. When I found out I had high blood pressure and had to reduce my salt, I found it VERY HARD to be around my in-laws. They're VERY nice people, but they're from the South and just pile it on without realizing it. But we worked through it and they've adjusted stuff they make for family dinner night; like no more corn dog night and they don't salt the crap out of the mashed potatoes. They make it without and then once on their plate salt the **** out of it. But it was quite frustrating when you start.

Also my hubby says "lets go to Taco Bell" without understanding how much a 350 calorie bean burrito cuts into my 'numbers' as we call them. Some people just have NO CLUE what they eat.

3) They realize they need to diet and have no ambition to do so. This is the worst to deal with. Maybe try and offer them MFP and show them how awesome it is. Maybe they'll get off your case.

Either way, I know it's not the same but I took a lot of flack from people when I went vegetarian. I'd just turn and look them in the eye and say "it's what I want to do with my life. And that's that." and just walk away. 99% of the time that was the end of the conversation and it never came up again. Good Luck!

LorinaLynn

I think the biggest thing is... everyone is self-absorbed. Everyone. You and them. And me. It's not sabotage. It's that your dietary habits aren't all that important to them. It's not something that's on their mind the way it's on yours.

And the truth of the matter is, barring food allergies or other medical issues, one of something WON'T hurt. One brownie, one piece of pizza, one cupcake, one cookie, one glass of wine... not enough to make any difference at all. Heck, even one ENTIRE pizza isn't even enough to make you gain one pound.

But if it's something you don't want, all you have to say is, "No, thank you." "No thanks, I'm not hungry." "Oh, I'd love to, but I just ate." "Sorry, I'm not in the mood for that right now."

jfl613

Please make sure you are within a reasonable weight range. The reason I say this is because many years ago, I was so fanatical about losing weight (not through healthy heating habits, though, rather through starvation) that I did not see that I was falling into anorexia. I saw myself as FAT and would get so angry at my family and "so called" friends who would tell me that I didn't need to lose weight and to have this or that "fattening" food. I finally woke up when my husband cried at the dinner table (no plate in front of me) saying that I was killing myself and he was afraid that I would leave him and our three young children. That snapped me out of it! Please do a reality check before getting upset with those who love you. If all is well within you, then just take the comments with a grain of salt (lite salt ;-)) and keep on going toward a healthy goal! Best wishes!

frizzlex

my best friend did this for ages, probably since the start of the year, then joined the gym two weeks ago... think most the time its jealousy! hate to say that but still....

NightOwl1

The only person who can sabotage your diet is you.