My weightloss journey

StephEwell

I'm unassigned at work, which leaves me plenty of time to think about... everything. I decided I wanted to write down my lifestyle change journey - thus far.

For starters, I was, for the majority of my life, a twig. In my teens, I could literally eat anything, and not gain a pound. I think the turning point was when I turned 16 and met my future hubby while working at Chickfila. He would take me out to nice restaurants, bring me chocolates, and we worked at a fast food place - so the combination resulted in some gained weight. However, this weight gain was so gradual, so unnoticable, and honestly not a problem to me. I had always been considered a "twig", so it was nice ot have some meat on my bones.

In retrospect, this is where I point to and say "this is where it started". Although these pounds didn't mean anything, it was my attitude towards them, the attitude towards my health, that would be damaging as time went on. From highschool in 2007 to now, I averaged gaining about 5 pounds a year. I would occasionally go to the gym with friends, randomly trying a machine - here or there, not keeping track and not making much progress.

My junior year in college marks the first building step on the road to finding healthy. I weighed about 165 (almost weigh that now!! ) and decided that I should start going to the gym and getting a bit more healthy. Not only was I freaked out that I had gained 15 pounds over the two years since high school, I had a coworker that was RIDICULOUSLY healthy and he basically motivated my entire staff to work on their health. I would say that my eating was not on point, but I was starting to exercise regularly and had a wonderful gym buddy that held me accountable. Not to mention, my college, Florida State had the best gym on the planet. I still miss it and all of the fun fitness classes. During this time I actually saw 159.8 or something and nearly died I was so happy. I proceeeded to celebrate by... EATING and never saw the number again. I think that after spring break my motivation died down. There was always hard classes and distractions that made it easy to skip the gym. I also had a taste of what a commitment to fitness was like, and once broken, it was hard to pick it back up knowing all the work that would go into it.

That summer, I barely worked out at all. I got engaged to my now husband at the end of the summer, which gave me some motivation to start working out again. This is when I got the next step to healthy... I got a personal trainer and started weight lifting. OMG, I love weight training. I like it a million times more than cardio, and I love losing those inches! I struggled to incorporate cardio and eating healthy, so once again - little action happened on the scale. I even had a wonderful personal trainer, which taught me all I needed to know about weightlifting and even introduced me into the cardio/strength-training combination that is the BOMB. Unfortnately though, I graduated weighing in at 165 and managed to stay healthy enough for my wedding, though probably picking up some pounds between the graduation and wedding.

Here's where it got ugly. I got married, got a new job that entailed travel and WHAM. 185. One hundred and eighty-five pounds. When I saw the number, I couldn't believe it. I would step on the scale and I would say, that can't be possible. How did this happen? What happened is that good marriages make you fat - because you're so stinking happy and my job had me sitting at a computer 10 hours out of the day and going out to nice restaurants while out of town. I wasn't the 12 year old that could eat whatever she wanted anymore. I was a 22 year old and boy did I put on the weight. By the time I acknoledged it, I was officially "overweight". I could feel it. Honestly, I could tell that I was out of breath to do simple tasks. I could feel it when I layed down in bed. I could see it in the way my clothes fit. I had purchased on sale dress pants that were size 14 because I couldn't pass up the deal at the limited, when I first got them they were loose. By the end of November (I started in August) they were getting uncomfortably tight in some areas... I had passed my threshold and I decided enough was enough. I think the real tipping point was trying on Bridesmaid's dresses with some friends. I was wearing these huge sizes and my little belly was petruding out of the dresses. Almost everything was unflattering. Meanwhile the other girls with me were thin, and everything looked amazing on them. I remembered having that body, and all I felt was shame. Shame that I had let things go this far and had not been strong enough to stop it. I resolved to make changes and to make them permenant.

It started with me going to the hotel gyms while I was travelling and putting a good 45 mins in on the elliptical. I then got a 10 day pass for a gym at home and started going there and doing some classes. I rejoined MFP and actually got some support by reaching out on the forums and getting some accountability. The final step to healthy came with FINALLY learning what the hell a serving was, and how my definition was WAY off. I educated myself on what to be eating and what to be doing. I got pinterest and pinned all storts of exercises and motivational phrases. It finally dawned on me that this would be a long process. Very long. And that was okay. The best advice I heard was from a personal trainer at my gym. He said... "When you start a new lifestyle, you have to realize that at the beginning and end are two different bodies. At one end, you have someone that's overweight, out-of-control with their eating, unhappy, unhealthy, etc. and at the other you have someone that is healthy, toned, and happy. Each one of these bodies makes different decisions and eats differently. They exercise differently and have different attitudes on the gym. The transition from one to the other isn't easy and it isn't overnight. It's a slow and gradual change to becoming the healthy person you want to be."

Here I am now, over three months after starting my healthy lifestyle change, and I do think it's permenant. I am no where near perfect, but I do see that gradual change occuring in me, both mentally and physically. I hope that this story can help others in their own journey. To know that sometimes it takes some failures before you succeed.



Thanks!