All I see are flaws..

Taneil27 · March 2012

I can't help but look at myself and think "You are disgusting." I see flaws from head to toe... My hair is so dry and dull, look at those acne scars on my face, look at all the acne on my chest and back, look at the nasty spare tire around your waist, look at those cottage cheese thighs, my arms are so flabby...etc...

Nobody is going to look at me and be like wow she is beautiful. They are probably happy they don't have to look like me.

I feel like I am never going to be able to look at myself and be happy with what I see. I am just going to keep avoiding mirrors and keep the lights dimmed, and cover myself up in baggy clothes.

:sad: :brokenheart:

Jenny1061 · March 2012

You are NOT disgusting. Don't give up sweetie. Just keep going and you will start to feel better i promise. eating better and getting activity are going to do wonders for your skin and hair and weight, AND for your emotional well being. DON'T GIVE UP! You CAN do it... believe it! I am here for you.

unmitigatedbadassery · March 2012

All you see are flaws because that's all you want to see. Dig deep and realize that your going to work your *kitten* off to prove that theory wrong. You got this.

hpj17 · March 2012

She's right, you know.
I used to think and feel exactly like you do. That mindset is just a battle that you have to overcome. Push forward, and you'll definitely feel better. Seriously, if you can win over the initial voice and feeling telling you it's not worth it, you'll come out on top. Remember to do it for you, and not to impress anyone else. The rest will fall into place.

ElPumaMex · March 2012

Just looking at your pics, I can tell you that you are absolutely NOT disgusting !

You are actually a beautiful, sweet girl. Really.

I have seen at MFP so many examples of people turning around their lives, that I know that you can do this ! :flowerforyou:

Helloitsdan · March 2012

This too will change.
Be sure you eat right and sleep right and all else will fall in place.

dad040859 · March 2012

All I see is a beautiful person who needs to let that person come forward...one thing I've learned in my 53 years is that people will always have their opinions. Who gives a rat's rear end? You're here for a reason - you care about yourself and you want to be healthy; the rest will follow. Make lots of friends here; there is no judgment, only support and love. Honestly, we all carry baggage, and the simplest advice is to just put it down and walk free. You are beautiful! I know it's tough, but nothing worth having is easily attained. Stick to it, you can do it. Friend me if you'd like, I'd be happy to take this journey with you!

MzFreeSpirited · March 2012

Be gentle with yourself. One day at a time

Baby steps create change too.

Lleldiranne · March 2012

You have a gorgeous smile and a lovely face! You also have a lot of courage - it's hard to share these feelings, even with the relative anonymity of the internet. Hang in there, you can make it.

May I offer the gentle suggest that, if these feelings are regular and frequent, or if they interfere with normal activities, you might consider talking to your doctor? Sometimes these feelings can get the better of us and begin a downward spiral (I've had the "I'm a disgusting horrible person" feelings before, then I feel bad for feeling that way, which just makes me feel worse...) Sometimes it takes some help to pull out of the pit, and there is nothing wrong with that.
If you can pull yourself out, that's great! But if you start feeling overwhelmed, then ask for help. Because you are a great person and you deserve to feel good about yourself. :flowerforyou:

jazzybean1 · March 2012

You can do something about each thing you complained about... you're not permanently disabled or disfigured. A first step would be maybe finding some things about you that you actually like!! Negativity will just keep you down for life. There are tons of ways to start healing your very sad self image. You really do need to focus on the positive. Try a theta dna treatment or reiki or healing touch or talk to someone who can help you. See a skin therapist or a good esthetician for your skin issues. I am one and I help people get better skin every day. Laser treatment can be really effective for scarring and isnt as expensive as it used to be. If your hair is dull look online and find a good homemade mask like avacado, or mayo, eggyolk and oil. There's all kinds of things you CAN be DOING to feel better. Pick one....
I hope you succeed, life is too short to feel that way about yourself.

xHelloQuincyx · March 2012

i have a message taped on my mirror that says "you are strong" and one that says "you are beautiful"

also i have started taking SAM-e suppliments. seriously look into it now. its really helping my depression, alot. it has a lot of research behind it and benefits in many different areas 14 dollars for a months worth, bought at target. be warned tho the box says to take 6 tablits a day (1200 mg) but i have been reading online review things and people report adverse side effects (sometimes) after 400. so im sticking to 1 pill a day. it has show help in many other areas too like liver function, alzheimer's, osteoarthritis, and joint pain. (to name a few) i also read it was better to take it with a b vitomen. the b complex ones i have say "tun food into energy" and "promote healthy brain function" so to say the least, im feeling pretty great :]

Taneil27 · March 2012

Thank you all.. so very much for your kind and thoughtful replies :flowerforyou:

There are 2 things that I like about my appearance and that's my eyes and my smile. So, I guess that's a good start.

I just feel like once I improve on something, I will find something else to hate. I'm constantly battling with myself and it really hurts.

:frown:

wcox · March 2012

Hang in there, girl! Like someone else posted, work your *kitten* off and know that you got this! Believe in yourself! Know that you are worth anything you dream of. If you want to lose that spare tire, etc....then work at it and you will be able to accomplish it! Also-remember what really makes a person beautiful...it goes beyond skin. Hugs to you!

Emporor_Augustus · March 2012

We are all our own worst critics.

Something I noticed about a lot of people who have poor self-image is that they do not help themselves any. I'll use my roommate's girlfriend as an example. She is extremely pretty but because she is quite heavy, it's as if she's given up on thinking she can possibly look good. She covers herself in baggy clothes - and only in black, since it's more "slimming" - and refuses to even try to wear colors or anything outside of her current wardrobe. We have convinced her, once or twice, to try a different style of clothing, and she looks STUNNING.

I think what I'm trying to say here is that confidence is radiant, and very attractive. If you walk around in balloon clothing, projecting the "I'm ugly" aura, then people may pick up on it. My suggestion? Go out to a plus-size store and pick yourself up some great new clothes that are designed to look good on people like you. Nothing makes me feel better than finding something that compliments my... um... curvy figure. Once you feel like you look good in something, the confidence will come naturally and you'll feel so much better about yourself.

I know you'll make progress eventually, and just think about how good it will feel when suddenly the cute clothes you bought are too big, and you can buy NEW cute clothes!

Keep it up, we're all rooting for you.

econut2000 · March 2012

If you like your eyes and your smile that's a great start! It may sound silly, but sit in front of the mirror everyday and LOOK at yourself and say "I have beautiful eyes and a beautiful smile". Repeat, repeat and repeat again! Do this daily. As you start to focus on those postitive attributes, you will begin to see even more postitive attributes! You have many! :-D

manda1002 · March 2012

Just know that 1 - you're not the only person who has thoughts like these and 2 - you can change all of these things. Something that helps me is not thinking "i need to lose this weight" because I'll be damned if I find it again. I'm changing my life, bettering myself. One thing you can do that will help you with a lot of what you see as problems is drinking a lot of water. I used to never drink water. Then when I started my life change, I started drinking at least what the daily minimum is for my weight and the weather here (which for me works out to 111oz a day, but I only drink about 90, because i figure at least 20 of it will be from foods), and my skin is so much better already, I'm losing weight, and I'm not feeling so sluggish or tired all the time. Anyway, just know that you can do it, that you are beautiful, and most of all, that you're worth it.

stablesong · March 2012

I know exactly how you feel and it is a very difficult mindset to get out of. Just remember that you can change any of the things you mentioned, and you ARE beautiful. I looked at your pictures and you're very pretty, your hair is gorgeous, and you have a great smile. You have so much going for you, don't let yourself think otherwise. Keep your head up.

shellsie_j · March 2012

Nobody is unattractive, we are all beautiful. It doesn't matter about our size or our hair or our skin, the old cliche is true "It's what's inside that counts" I know that this probably won't help because you are so down on yourself but the fact that you are reaching out to others and are able to articulate your feelings is a BIG step. Ask yourself....will you be happy when you are thinner or will you still be down on yourself for any imagined flaw. We must all work on our diet and exercise but equally importantly we must all work on our inner thoughts and self criticism that cause us to beat ourselves up. Stay on this site, it is very motivating and has helped me focus A LOT

sunnshnegrl · March 2012

Everyone is beautifull to someone. I know you might not be able to see it right now but you will. Work hard, stay motivated, and when you start seeing results you will find your inner beauty again. And I say inner beauty because you are already beautifull on the outside you just have to start believing in yourself again. Stay strong!

P.S. Your eyes and smile are great features!

chasingpavements24 · March 2012

Oh, sweetie - I have totally been there. I feel like my face is covered with acne scars and I've struggled with my weight since I was like 2 years old - on a particularly bad day, I'll remember all the things people have ever said about me and I just want to give up - but that's letting them win. I just have to remind myself that, even if no one else sees it, I am a good, compassionate person and I deserve to be happy. It's something that I still struggle with, but what has helped me is surrounding myself with positive people, positive affirmations, and writing in a journal. Also, you have to remember - acne scars, limp hair, and being fat aren't permanent things - with ALOT of work, these things can be fixed. I'm a big believer in the fact that when you look good, you feel good - so I try to take the time to look good, even with my imperfections.

Jenilein · March 2012

Aw Taneil! I don't see flaws, I see someone who is taking courageous steps!

This is the hard part; starting again. I'm starting too. We're going to get things in alignment with who we really are; healthy, strong, active and happy people.

I just walked 5 miles under a balmy evening sky. I was moving. I was real. Sometimes you have to get away from the static of disappointments shown on the scale, judgemental looks, food confusion, tight clothes, mixed theories and bikini-clad chicklets prancing around touting commercial diet pills. That stuff can drive me nuts and make my goals seem unrealistic. But then I get out there and move, breathe, drink refreshing water, sleep well and fuel my body with natural, fresh foods. That's real.

All I see are flaws..

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