A mothers day vent/rant/rave

elliott062907

OK, I know, Mothers Day is supposed to be a joyess occasion. Right? Well for me, I really enjoy being a mom. I have a wonderful 16 year old son, his friends are just like him, respectful and happy and into their own thing and they always care for others and put others first.

When I was married the first time for 14 years to a alcoholic/gambler, almost all my mothers days were destroyed. If it wasn't about him, he would be drunk and always do something to mess it up.

So now I am very happily married since 06-29-07 and I have gotten to enjoy 2 mothers days now.
Hubby and son, made it all about me. No cooking, cleaning, planning.......

Well, now comes MY MOM. Yes, I love her, so please don't jump on me with, "well she is your mom"..... I already know all of this and I don't want to ruffle feathers... but it is my rant after all...

My mom, is one of those that it is all about her or if not, she gets "sick", has a BS "ailment", and she will try to destroy everyone's day with useless phone calls, drama or poor me routine. It has been this way for so many years, I have lost count.

My sister txt me last week and said, "I'm going to cook lunch for mom Sunday afternoon, after I get home from Church", You can HAVE her Saturday"...?? OK, I was a bit upset by this.... so I suggested having a cook out at my house and just enjoy the day. Grill out and the guys can clean up. But my sis, just insisted, so I dropped it.

Now, I haven't decided what I will do for mothers day yet, maybe go out tonight to Gracies in Maryville, TN. Which was on the top 10 restaurants and having Mothers day specials as well. Or have a small cook out here with some Chicken and shrimp ka bobs?? Just haven't decided. One reason is that with all the rain Tennessee has gotten in 2 weeks, I have been out in it with car shows and races, "that's what we do"!. My throat hurts, ears burn and I am on Vitamin B and C to aid in my healing... I actually slept until 9:30 this morn... what a shock, I usually am up at day break...

So this week, mom has called me at least 3-4 times a day to see what "I", was going to do for "HER", mothers day. OK, I advised the options and choices and that I was not feeling well and we were keeping a low profile this year. and I had to remind her I was a mom too and I have a mother in law in whice I love as well. And we had to make time for all. She actually had the nerve to get upset by that.

So I decided to get both moms and myself a Gardenia Plant, which will bloom indoors and Out as long as it got partial sunlight and not be under 50 outside. I still want to go out to eat, but again, in 3 hours time, she called me 4 times last night from 8 to 11 PM. We were out with my son and his friends and when she cld not reach me at home, she started calling me on my cell, then hubby's cell and then my sisters cell to find me....

We got home late and went to bed and did not call anyone...

So here is the delimma.... I feel like crap, want to stay in, but she is relentless.. I think I will just do what I want to doa nd take her the plant Sunday!!!!

Anyone else have this problem with their moms? I am 37 tears old and she actually throws tantrums and I just feel like I am too old to go through it anymore.

A few months back, I posted a resolution to stress post, by ridding your self of things you have no control over and everytime I do, I get family drama!!!!

elliott062907

OK, I know, Mothers Day is supposed to be a joyess occasion. Right? Well for me, I really enjoy being a mom. I have a wonderful 16 year old son, his friends are just like him, respectful and happy and into their own thing and they always care for others and put others first.

When I was married the first time for 14 years to a alcoholic/gambler, almost all my mothers days were destroyed. If it wasn't about him, he would be drunk and always do something to mess it up.

So now I am very happily married since 06-29-07 and I have gotten to enjoy 2 mothers days now.
Hubby and son, made it all about me. No cooking, cleaning, planning.......

Well, now comes MY MOM. Yes, I love her, so please don't jump on me with, "well she is your mom"..... I already know all of this and I don't want to ruffle feathers... but it is my rant after all...

My mom, is one of those that it is all about her or if not, she gets "sick", has a BS "ailment", and she will try to destroy everyone's day with useless phone calls, drama or poor me routine. It has been this way for so many years, I have lost count.

My sister txt me last week and said, "I'm going to cook lunch for mom Sunday afternoon, after I get home from Church", You can HAVE her Saturday"...?? OK, I was a bit upset by this.... so I suggested having a cook out at my house and just enjoy the day. Grill out and the guys can clean up. But my sis, just insisted, so I dropped it.

Now, I haven't decided what I will do for mothers day yet, maybe go out tonight to Gracies in Maryville, TN. Which was on the top 10 restaurants and having Mothers day specials as well. Or have a small cook out here with some Chicken and shrimp ka bobs?? Just haven't decided. One reason is that with all the rain Tennessee has gotten in 2 weeks, I have been out in it with car shows and races, "that's what we do"!. My throat hurts, ears burn and I am on Vitamin B and C to aid in my healing... I actually slept until 9:30 this morn... what a shock, I usually am up at day break...

So this week, mom has called me at least 3-4 times a day to see what "I", was going to do for "HER", mothers day. OK, I advised the options and choices and that I was not feeling well and we were keeping a low profile this year. and I had to remind her I was a mom too and I have a mother in law in whice I love as well. And we had to make time for all. She actually had the nerve to get upset by that.

So I decided to get both moms and myself a Gardenia Plant, which will bloom indoors and Out as long as it got partial sunlight and not be under 50 outside. I still want to go out to eat, but again, in 3 hours time, she called me 4 times last night from 8 to 11 PM. We were out with my son and his friends and when she cld not reach me at home, she started calling me on my cell, then hubby's cell and then my sisters cell to find me....

We got home late and went to bed and did not call anyone...

So here is the delimma.... I feel like crap, want to stay in, but she is relentless.. I think I will just do what I want to doa nd take her the plant Sunday!!!!

Anyone else have this problem with their moms? I am 37 tears old and she actually throws tantrums and I just feel like I am too old to go through it anymore.

A few months back, I posted a resolution to stress post, by ridding your self of things you have no control over and everytime I do, I get family drama!!!!

ktndj82104

This might be mean but if she was my mom she wouldn't get anything until she learns to appreciate stuff. We sure wouldn't do for our kids if they acted like that. In my eyes same goes for mom. Your mom inlaw and you are moms also and your mother should not be taking up all your time. Good luck with whatever you do!!

manda1111

That's the nature of learning to move through or past something. If you say you want to have less of it in your life you will get more until you can effectively deal with it and then you will have much less. There is not much you can do about a person's personallity. If she has always been this way she probably won't be changing any time soon. One thing me and my husband do to avoid the holiday nightmares is plan early. I send out and email or letter and let our wishes be know before other people can decide them for us. Do that once or twice and most people will get the hint that your personal family time takes president over the big family time.

I think you need to set your own terms for how you want to deal with your mom. Your sister should not be dictating your schedual. And it may sound harsh but maybe you should consider the "this year that year thing". I husband has a mom and a step mom. We live in the same state with his father and step mother but my mom and his mom live elsewere. So it easy for us but even if we lived closer no way would I try to cram three mom's in one wekend and jip my own family of thier loving plans for me. It sounds like you have a wonderful husband and son and they deserve to do for you whatever they see fit reguardless of anyone else's expectation are. I'm not say ing you should forget your mom or mother in law but if you have a plan them you get to decide when you have time for you family and the big family. Boundries, Boundries, Boundries

dezmoore

TOXIC ---

I have my story too... but it's toxic. Dont let her drama ruin your day too. You know what its going to be - and then it will be resentment and your family will feel YOUR PAIN.

Calmly call your mom and let her know that there has been a change of plans and you are going to be doing stuff with your family . Let her know you have a little something (a beautiful plan) that you would like to drop off to her on sunday for about 20 minutes. If she says she has a busy day or gets upset then say im sorry your upset and/or taking this personally but like I said there has been a change of plans and if she would prefer you can drop it off next week.

then- let it go

to your sister- your family time- change of plans...

to yourself- enjoy YOUR family

molsongirl

I think you should move, far away, Canada is quite nice :happy: ...seriously I feel for you, I have one of those moms, but she's even worse! And we actually moved away....it worked :laugh:

elliott062907

thank you all.
6 calls from fri to today.......

Iceprincessk25

This story makes me glad that my mom moved up to washington state to retire. :bigsmile:

ohthatbambi

I understand your frustration. I love my mother dearly, but the best thing I ever did for me, for her, for my husband was to move away. I know that may not be an option for you but if you get the chance....do it. It made my mom less dependent on me and it gave me and my hubby a chance to spread our wings!

ngwife4life

I have someone like that in my life. She makes me so filled with anger some times that I have a very, very difficult time picking out a gift or even a card for her. It's really sad but I read the cards and think "That's WAY too mushy and nice" and throw it back. There's no moving for any of us and you can't really change who you're related to! I just try to be the adult, suck it up and move on. :frown:

havingitall

My Mom passed away 3 years ago. I would be thrilled to have her nagging at me right now. My Mom used to be difficult too but I would do anything to have her back.

Girlmom282109

My mom used to be like this up until about a year before my first daughter was born. I don't know what turned her around but I'm glad she did. There was a time that I didn't talk to her for a whole year.