I'm really not that nice, but I'm honest.

milkll13

In a small group 2 weeks ago, a group of people I know (in real life) got into a discussion on the importance of truth. How sacred someone's word is and just the overall importance of being honest. While I do not disagree with this, my question to them was "is there such thing as being too honest?" because I am VERY straightforward, brutally honest and the fact of the matter is, people really don’t like honesty, people like pretend honest/half honest/bull$#!++ honest. People like to be coddled and have their feelings spared.
And while I will be the first to admit I love having my ego stroked, I only really like it when it's true!
If the truth is really that I'm coming as someone who has zero self esteem, needs to find something to do and get a life and or needs to stop posting pathetic excuses for why I'm screwed up, I'd want someone to tell me so that I could stop making a fool of myself!

So the outcome of the conversation was from a woman in my group- a woman much older and wiser woman than myself; and she told me to ask myself this:
"Is it true?"
"Is it Kind?"
"Is it necessary?"

So while I find myself annoyed daily at what I think is absolutely asinine and pathetic, I come up with some restraint and have asked myself the three questions only to refrain from posting this on your comment thread and instead post it here.

I feel better now.

danigirl1011

I love this post! I totally think people now days tend to be very overly sensitive and it is difficult most of the time to actually speak the truth, because i've learned, even when people ask for it, they really either don't want to hear it or can't handle hearing it. I do try to keep it to myself a lot though, because i am not always a tactful person and i am not mean, so i don't want to come across as b*tchy. So, i love the 3 questions. I think it's a thoughtful way to go about things!

jenluvsushi

I love this....some people really need to read this and absorb it!

jsapninz

That is GREAT. I am EXACTLY like you and usually get people into a hissy fit by saying something is "wrong." Lol

Interestingly, I think the "Is is Necessary?" can frequently cancel out the "Is it Kind?", based on your relationship with the person.

I am going to use that advise too, thanks a ton for passing it on!

And I'll have your back on the message boards if I see you stirring up trouble

SteveHunt113

"Like"

One of my issues isn't so much the honesty so much as it is the method.

I gave someone bad (read: outdated) advice. Someone came along behind me and decided the best thing to do was make every effort to humiliate me. We had a long conversation via messages and came to an understanding.

I like to think I'm open minded, but I can become closed minded if you attack me. In this instance, I was too angry to even consider what the other poster had to say. After we "talked", I learned that I had bad information, and he agreed that his method of correcting me was also bad.

I think this fits into the "Is it kind?" question!