How to cope...

Emporor_Augustus

Hey everyone,

I'll try to make this as concise as possible... long story short, a few days ago I kind of got my heart ripped out and stomped on and now I'm just horribly depressed... on Monday I vowed to myself to get serious about losing weight and joined this site, then on Tuesday *kitten* happened and... well... I guess the thing is it's hard to keep the motivation.

I am a huge comfort-eater and I've been really good for the last two days... but today... I just feel myself slipping, My roommate is incredibly thin and works at a pastry shop, and the house is full of high-fat foods. I'm so sad and miserable and I just want to turn to the chips and the ice cream and the pastries and just feel good about eating something I enjoy. I know I won't feel good AFTER, but I'll already feel bad after anyway, so I'm starting to feel like... what's the point?

Does anyone have advice on how to stay motivated through depression?

((PS. It should also probably be noted that I have an anxiety disorder which makes me unable to let go of things quickly, I'll agonize over even the tiniest thing for ages, so something this big... "getting over it" doesn't come easily to me.))

colleenob1

I too am a comfort eater. What I find helps is taking a look at the success stories forum. I scroll through looking at pics & reading stories. It is a great distraction & it is a motivator for me. It helps me stay focused: If someone else can loose the weight and look so good then why can't I...



( sorry to hear about your hard time...Just remember, there are better days ahead )

MJBez

There is no easy answer to this question, because everyone has a different motivator. However, I would not tell you to "get over it" because like you, I can fret over things for a very long time, and have a difficult time just "forgetting about it".
One big thing that helped me was exercise. Exercise is especially good if your feeling blue. I don't go crazy, I just work out 3 times a week (I go to Zumba for 2 of those) Also, having friends on mfp helps keep me feeling accountable and motivated too.
I would have to say my biggest motivator since I started is the fact that I am seeing results! Nothing better than that. I have tried this many times in the past and failed and I can say that mpf makes it so much easier for me. Pre-plan your day the morning of at least (I do mine the day before). When I know what I am going to eat I know that there is no room for pasteries etc. I would say THIS is why I have been sucessful this time. Keep believing in yourself, you ultimately will be your biggest motivator. I tell myself everyday that I am proud of myself for what I am doing to make myself healthier and to reach my goal. I know this sounds crazy, but I had to stop the self destructive talk if I wanted to be sucessful!
Please feel free to add me as a friend, I always try to encourage and comment on my mpf friends! :flowerforyou:
btw: I have found motivators in lots of little things on mfp: Getting"__ days logged in in a row (I log everyday), seeing the "If everyday were like today you would weigh___ in 5 weeks, knowing I was under my calorie goal, Knowing I'm eating healthy... the list goes on.
Sorry this is long winded. I was touched by your post because I have been there Best of luck!

foggy45

well...first try to sit, relax and think about what your priority goal is,if your wieght is an issue in terms of health then you must push everything and everyone aside and worry about you first. you need to sit and put all your goals on paper and figure out how to reach them instead of thinking "whats the point". i can go on with this but really dont know you to tell you best answer....see if your roomy has diet safe(and tasty)foods that can be kept in the house for those off days,dont let others run your life,you take control...im a beachbody coach so if you need some help with nutrtion or fitness send me a message ide love to help you stay on track.....tim

iuew

((PS. It should also probably be noted that I have an anxiety disorder which makes me unable to let go of things quickly, I'll agonize over even the tiniest thing for ages, so something this big... "getting over it" doesn't come easily to me.))

same here; diagnosed OCD. used to treat it with comfort eating.

good eating habits become a routine, as do regularly scheduled slip meals once you reach maintenance.

you can do it.

adietron

I've been in a similar situation, trying to loose weight during a hard time is... well, hard.

When I was going through tough times, it felt like my life was out of control. I couldn't change anything that was going on around me... even my emotions were out of my control. BUT... what I COULD control was how much I exercised. In fact, it was about the ONLY thing I could control. Everyday, I watched my life spinning like crazy, and the only thing I could look forward to was my daily run. Keep in mind, It takes just as much mental effort to make the decision to GO as it does NOT to go. Once the decision is made... you're already there! There's no use in fighting your anxiety. It's there, a part of you, that's not going away. You don't have to pressure yourself to "get over it." You will, when your mind is good and ready. Right now it's about controlling what you can, until that time comes.

As far as the pastries go... my coworkers similarly torture me. So, I put a mental "mr. yuck" sticker on them (you know, the green poison control stickers you put on bleach bottles for kids?). I started to think of pastries as poisons rather than treats. Sure, the poison might taste amazing, but it's gonna give you heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. I know, I know, it's a little drastic... but it works for me.

Another thing that works for me is not giving myself the option of turning to junk food. Ask your roommate not to bring treats home, or to give them to her other friends. If she cares about you and supports you in your goals, she'll understand. You have to hold up your end of the deal too though... simply don't bring any chips, ice cream etc. into your house. It's YOUR domain, and you have control over what goes in your fridge. Purge the crap, and treat yourself to some mangoes and skinny cows

I hope this helps, I wish you the best of luck. And try running! It SUCKS for the first week or two, but once you're over that hump... it will be your best stress-relieving friend! Don't give up!

cuatromommy

I speak from my own experiences. I was so depressed and ready to check myself into a mental health facility...that was about a month ago. I didn't and I'm glad I didn't. I started exercising like mad hell and really focusing on my diet. I probably overdid the exercise at first and have finally slowed down some. I will tell you that there is nothing in this world that makes me feel better than doing what I can to reach my goals. I think doing what I want (being lazy and eating all day) makes me just feel worse and more depressed because it's really not what I want to be doing with myself. I hate feeling pitiful.

So I beg of you to just keep pushing yourself. Take it one day at a time and just keep focused on taking care of you. The mental health will come faster than you can imagine.

I'll be thinking good thoughts for you.

AprilShore

I also understand. When I feel like I am in over my head or depressed about something, I want to eat junk. I crave it badly. But, like others have said, I took control of exercise. When I got mad or frustrated, I took it out on the treadmill or the elliptical. That I can control. I have also swapped the junk for good food. Instead of ice cream, I put whipped yogurt in the freezer and eat it. I also clean. Having a neat, clean environment helps me to focus and feel more calm. Good luck!

PeaceCorpsKat

This actually good. I find a lot of people who are dieting for weight loss shut out to real world, lock themselves away from the goodies so they aren't tempted. But you know, that doesn't work well in the long run. If you are facing it now, and can overcome in such bad circumstances, then you can do anything.

Maddi_InBetweenDays

I feel your pain completely! The day after I had my heart ripped out I joined MFP and went to buy a gym membership. I did it on the idea that since I didn't have him, I needed a relationship with something else. Why not the gym? With the byproduct of losing weight, getting healthy, and bettering myself?

I don't let go of things very well either. I am still dealing with the back and forth emotions I have about him and that was six months ago! But during that time, I have noticed that when I am running at the gym, or out walking, or doing healthy things for myself, I am thinking about how confident I feel about all the work I've put into this - not him. And that keeps me going.

nikki778

Awww Im sorry, all your feelings are common,

Take a deep breath put on your ipod & go for a nice LONNNNNG walk,..keep walking clear your head as much as you can come back light some candles take a shower or bath, give yourself a facial, paint your nails, read a book, journal, call a friend, paint or turn up the radio & dance away your thoughts, stay busy if you feel yourself turning toward the kitchen go brush your teeth or even whiten them, go clean, reorganize your closet, go run errands...

Stay Strong! :flowerforyou:

In time youll be feeling a better, surround yourself with positive vibes.

eatandexercise1

Comfort eating is a HUGE problem for me, too. The thing that helps me the most is to just indulge, but to do it within my calorie goal. If you're having a terrible day and you just want to eat ice cream, eat three scoops if you need to. Just count the calories and remain under your goal. Be aware of what you're eating. That will help take away the feeling of being out of control.

You CAN be comforted and still in control.

Also, if you have a bad day or week of bingeing, just do your best to put it behind you and move forward with your exercise/eating goals. Realize that you're not perfect, that this happens sometimes, and the best thing to do is keep trucking.

Good luck! I know we can all do it with help and support!

Shellitz

I've been battling with anxiety and depression for a while now - and while I'm not really that big a comfort eater I am most certainly a comfort non-exerciser. I used to have days when it would take me hours to convince myself it was worth getting out of bed.

My advice - from personal experience - is to USE the anxiety. You start to feel that anxiousness creeping up on you (and you know when it's coming!)...time to go for a walk. Or a run, or to punch the crap out of a boxing bag. Whatever you like to do. Just move, fight the urge to curl up in a ball.

Getting your blood pumping will 1) mentally - give you something to distract you from your worries and 2) physically - release endorphines and help your cortisol levels come back to a normal level. Plus if you walk out the door and walk around the block you are not in front of the fridge or the pantry.

It doesn't take long for this reaction to anxiety to become a habit. And it's a useful habit to have

sdag

I eat food to comfort myself too, but I've been reaching for gum rather than food and I find it helps me.

coraliethomas

I used to turn to food when I was upset, angry or sad.... with this program though.. when I get upset I hit the gym... HARD!! Sweat it out and its all good after! I even go when I feel sick to sweat the cooties out... Try it

emstaley4

How about small steps? That usually works for me. I know that if I try to do too many "good" things at once for myself I get over-loaded and throw-up my hands and say WTH!! I have discovered that I eat for comfort, for boredom, for anxiety or any other thing you can think of. I'm also obsessive and tend to over-think things to death. One day at a time works really well and some days it's one minute, one hour at a time to. Good Luck to you. Be easy on yourself. Incorporate healthy foods into your life a bit at a time. It doing the small incrimental changes that are good for the long haul.

dododo123

instead of looking to food for comfort, watch a couple of funny videos on stumbleupon. put stumbleupon on your browser and just lose track of time, going from video to video on youtube. it will cheer you up to see many interesting things people put on there.

Austin1988

I find that reading through success stories is a pretty good way to get motivated. I'm getting ready to go for my second run of the day because I have been reading over other people's journeys for the last hour or so. Try to be competitive with them- if they can lose 20lbs, you can lose 25. You just gotta force yourself into the mindset!

LaurasClimb

Your post brought me to tears. Looks like you are in the right place, it seems there are many who have experienced something similar - myself included.
It is so hard, I think I gained 30 pounds comfort eating. Congratulations for recognizing it early! I think you will find much support here. Try to find some in the real-world, too.
Stay busy and remember that those sweets and goodies are not going to make you feel better or make the hurt go away.

Once piece of advice and I give this to everyone trying to lose weight...don't deny yourself every treat, that's a sure fire way to find yourself craving it.

Best of luck, it does get better just doesn't seem like it right now. Friend me if you need more support.
Laura

mwilke

Like someone else said- use positive self talk. Tell yourself that you are a beautiful person and you deserve good things. Second, also as many others have said, when you start to feel the urge to eat, go for a walk, or start some form of exercise or activity. Try to keep from thinking the bad thoughts. You can't always just "get over it" or "forget about it"- But you can do things to help yourself not think about them :flowerforyou:

Feel free to add me if you like.

econut2000

Sorry to hear your going through a lot right now. There is an emotional eaters group on here - if you haven't joined it already, you might be able to find some support or advice on there.

I too am an emotional eater. Running used to be my release - since becoming disabled I am unable to exercise on a regular basis. All this threw me into a tail spin and I gained 65lbs (combo of emotional eating, being bed bound and my illness). I got back on this site in mid-December and as you can see, things have been slow going for me because I still do have my binges and exercise is tough but I make sure to log EVERYTHING I eat. Even if it's an entire bag of chips, I log it. I NEVER give myself a day off from logging. I don't get obsessive about it - if someone makes me something or I eat out and don't know exactly what the calorie count is I just guesstimate portion sizes and use the calorie tracker to make my best guesses (but I always try to overestimate, rather than underestimate). This makes me feel accountable for those calories. If I don't log it I tend to try to discount the calories (sometimes it turns out I don't go overboard as much as I think). Seeing it in black and white makes those calories real for me. I've been better lately about eating healthier "extra" calories. It doesn't always work and if it's a strong craving sometimes I'm better off just eating what I'm craving but if I can, eating an extra 500 calories of healthier foods is better than eating a pastry.

I have terrible insomnia so I struggle in the middle of the night. I come on these discussion forums when I have cravings and try to distract myself. Being able to give a small piece of advice or encouragement helps me focus on what I've accomplished or can accomplish. I also enjoy crafting and that has become my outlet as much as possible to replace the running. It's certainly not the same for me, but you need to find what works for YOU. Good luck!