Empathy vs Sympathy........how support should work

ninerbuff
ninerbuff Posts: 48,961 Member
in Motivation and Support
First let's define both regarding "support" here on MFP:

Empathy-
the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.

Sympathy-
inclination to think or feel alike : emotional or intellectual accord <in sympathy with their goals> feeling of loyalty : tendency to favor or support

If it still isn't clear I would describe it like this:

If someone was seasick and throwing up over the side of the boat, if you were SYMPATHETIC, you'd go over and start throwing up with them.
If you were EMPATHETIC, you'd go get some seasick pills and give them to them.

Many times lots of us with EMPATHY are being accused of being "rude" or "insensitive" because of objectively offering advice to a person who may be struggling on here. Just wanted to let SYMPATHIZERS know that we're not insensitive, we're EMPATHETIC.

Rant over.

A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Replies

  • Meggles63
    Meggles63 Posts: 916 Member
    Thank you! I may need to copy this for later reference.
  • 970Mikaela1
    970Mikaela1 Posts: 2,013 Member
    Yep what Ninerbuff said!
    Would you rather hear what you want someone to say? Or hear something that actually might help your situation no matter if it is unpleasant?
    I hope that my friends on here would give it to me straight, if and when ( and it is more often than i think) I do things or start eating things that are not hip to my goals!!!

    Hope everyone has a great day!!!
  • smallerman
    smallerman Posts: 25 Member
    I think of it as sympathy means "I'm sorry you are going through that - you must feel bad" while empathy means "I'm feeling bad too - vicariously experiencing your pain."
  • PJilly
    PJilly Posts: 22,113 Member
    If someone was seasick and throwing up over the side of the boat, if you were SYMPATHETIC, you'd go over and start throwing up with them.
    If you were EMPATHETIC, you'd go get some seasick pills and give them to them.

    Many times lots of us with EMPATHY are being accused of being "rude" or "insensitive" because of objectively offering advice to a person who may be struggling on here. Just wanted to let SYMPATHIZERS know that we're not insensitive, we're EMPATHETIC.
    I'd like to add that if you were seasick and throwing up over the side of the boat, your empathetic friend is going to be a lot more helpful!
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
    1284521-bender_applause_super.gif

    Very well said.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,393 Member
    Niner, good luck with this. I'm being supportive, not judgemental, here :wink:
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,961 Member
    Niner, good luck with this. I'm being supportive, not judgemental, here :wink:
    Lol, no luck needed. The hope is that people will be able to actually distinguish the two!


    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • TDBrims
    TDBrims Posts: 138
    Totally agree....how do we grow and learn if no-one helps us see a situation differently
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,961 Member
    Totally agree....how do we grow and learn if no-one helps us see a situation differently
    That's why empathy works. It's an objective point of view and not a sympathetic. People don't change if others agree with them or tell them what they want to hear all the time.
    People change when they are seen from a view other than their own in a constructive manner. It's like taking a picture and looking in a mirror for comparison. Many people don't think they look overweight in a mirror, but when they see an actual picture of themselves, they are sometimes shocked at how they "really" look. It's just that it's now their view that they see it from and not another persons.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • desirae500
    desirae500 Posts: 142 Member
    Sympathy:
    "i'm sorry you fell off the boat, here I'll throw you the life saver ring so you can swim back."

    Empathy:
    "I'm sorry you fell off the boat, here I'll bring the life saver ring to you and swim back with you."
  • iwillsoonbeslim
    iwillsoonbeslim Posts: 283
    Sympathy:
    "i'm sorry you fell off the boat, here I'll throw you the life saver ring so you can swim back."

    Empathy:
    "I'm sorry you fell off the boat, here I'll bring the life saver ring to you and swim back with you."

    ^^ I'm darned sure which one I'll be if that ever happens :P^^

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