Baby fever...

bellevie23

LoL Well I am one of those girls who had her kids in her 20s, I am happy because I am DONE. Once my youngest is done being a infant, thats it, I am young and have the energy to keep up with them, not saying I wont later on, but I enjoy it now. I still did my travelling (the army made me) and enjoyed some things most people dont their whole life, with that said, my kids do make it to where it is not "me" time anymore all the time, i still get it, but you have to be prepared to be a planner after kids, cant just up and do whatever. However, for some of us, it is fine. I will still be young *not as young* when my kids are grown, and can enjoy that I want to live ideally to see my grandkids grow up, play with them, my body is being easier to get back now while I still have youth on my side, it just worked for me.

However, you shouldnt get pregnant just because everyone else is, if you and your husband want to thats great, but I wouldnt do it because its the 'trend' in your friend circle. If you really think you might want a kid, offer to babysit one of your friends newborns one night, a toddler the next, a child another night, then see how you feel lol. Itd give your friends a prob much needed break and itd give you an idea of what you are getting yourself into and how you and your husband would work together in taking care of the child. Yall need to have that understood on what each others expectations would be, because some women have kids with their men and then realize their men expect the woman to do everything, or vice versa, so just figure that out would be my advice.

bellevie23

Yikes your like a twin LOL.

i got married and had kids early and i can give you the words of don't do it yet, wait a while, you still have lots of life to live and enjoy before it's baby time but i love my kids dearly and i can't imagine not having them so just think things through before you do anything. that said, now a single mom with 3 kids and a bf of almost a year and even though i had my tubes tied i wish i could have a baby for him since he never had one.

nutandbutter

It is just hard, seeing everyone you know having kids and you having no plans to have any of your own yet. I have been married 5 months and have been asked a million times already "oh, well, when are ya'll going to have one?" which is horribly frustrating.

In my family, you are someone when you have a child. I have 2 degrees (the first in my family to even have one mind you) and a job, a house and a car, yet my grandparents and cousins just ask when are we having kids.. not how our careers are going, or any of that... when are we going to have children.

That doesn't end when you have a child. You then get asked when you're having another. When you have 2, you get asked if you're having another. If you have 3 or more, people start asking if you're done having kids yet. What I'm saying is, people just like to ask nosy personal questions.

bellevie23

It is just hard, seeing everyone you know having kids and you having no plans to have any of your own yet. I have been married 5 months and have been asked a million times already "oh, well, when are ya'll going to have one?" which is horribly frustrating.

In my family, you are someone when you have a child. I have 2 degrees (the first in my family to even have one mind you) and a job, a house and a car, yet my grandparents and cousins just ask when are we having kids.. not how our careers are going, or any of that... when are we going to have children.

That doesn't end when you have a child. You then get asked when you're having another. When you have 2, you get asked if you're having another. If you have 3 or more, people start asking if you're done having kids yet. What I'm saying is, people just like to ask nosy personal questions.

^^^THIS...it doesnt stop..you have one, then its when will you have the next, dont even get started on if your first two or however are all one sex, because then you have the 'one of each' convo...yeah dont think it stops lol..

xnikkiheart

I feel like if you know you could handle it, then it's something to think about. At the same time if you know that you can't afford the 20,000$ a year (or more now) that it costs to raise one child, then take a step back. Really it comes down to what you want and it doesn't matter if you're 20 or 40. Granted, not everyone has ideal situations and they still make it work (like the girls from my high school), but they have massive support systems. If you have people that would be willing to help out and maybe babysit for free or at least at a lower cost than daycare so you could continue to work, wonderful. It really comes down to your life and how you see things working out and if it's possible.
I know I'm not ready to have kids yet, and I have my silly 5-10-whatever year plan that I want to follow. At the same time if something were to happen, I know my family and my boyfriend's family would be more than willing to help out and that changes things than if they were to say disown me and I would have to go live in a women's shelter.
If you think you're ready, then talk to your husband about it and see what he thinks. Talk about the money and where the baby would live (if you're in a house or apartment), who would take care of the child, would you still work or would you put the child in daycare, all those other random little questions, and see what the general view from him is.

AmberFaith90

I had my first at 19. I'm 21, and I want another one so bad. BUT...I'm DEFINITELY not financially secure. I'm lucky enough to have a supportive family and be able to provide for my daughter and I by myself (other than paying for electricity, water, roof over my head, etc...which I realize is expensive). My boyfriend (who is 27) and I want to wait a 3-5 years, get a house, get our lives settled. I start nursing school in August, so I'd definitely hate to have another baby when I'm on the road to success. I mean, I had my daughter during final exams during my freshman year of college! Now THAT'S hard! Haha (:

I say wait. Enjoy your 20's. I'm barely in mine, and I don't enjoy them much. I don't get out. My "going out" consists of going downstairs and working out, haha. I feel so pressured to hurry up and grow up, get married, get out of the house, and so on and so forth since I already have a baby.