1 year of MFP, 45 lbs down, 59 lbs to go

Pangea250

On March 19, 2011, I woke up and realized one thing: I was done. I was, officially, sick and tired of being sick and tired. Up until that point, I was depressed, I was beaten down, I was demoralized, I was shamed & shameful, I was weakened, I was ineffectual, I was paralyzed, I was dejected & despondent & unable/unwilling to see a way out. I was fat.

After years of a deep chronic depression that my doctor and I tried in vain to treat with medications, I came to a realization. Until then, I figured I would lose weight after my depression got better. But what if I had that backwards? What if my depression would get better after I lost weight? I could no longer ignore that as a possibility. Finally, the pain of being where I was became worse than the fear of taking a step forward and taking responsibility for my weight. At that moment, at that *instant*, I became willing.

I joined MFP 2 days later, and what a God-send it has been. I started at 234 lbs, determined to lose 104 lbs. and get down to 130lbs. I started this stuff called "exercise." What a demon...what an angel. I found out that I really *could* do it. (I even ran a 5K in October.)

I realized several things, very quickly:

1 - I had been massively overeating for years.
2 - I didn't actually shrivel up & die if I was hungry from time to time.
3 - Chocolate gives me heartburn.
4 - It's not always easy to eat right.
5 - it's always better to eat right.

I have lost, month-by-month:
Month 1 - 13.6 lbs, 5.8%
Month 2 - 3.4 lbs, 1.5%
Month 3 - 4.4 lbs, 2.0%
Month 4 - 4.2 lbs, 2.0%
Month 5 - 0.8 lbs, 0.4%
Month 6 - 0 lbs, 0%
Month 7 - 0.6 lbs,0.3 %
Month 8 - 2.2 lbs, 1.1%
Month 9 - 4.4 lbs, 2.1%
Month 10 - 4.6 lbs, 2.3%
Month 11 - 2.4 lbs, 1.2%
Month 12 - 4.4 lbs, 2.3%
Total - 45 lbs, 19.2%

Wow, how awesome is that! Notice my "blip" in months 5/6/7. That was an awful, awful plateau. I don't know what I did to get out of it. I just kept on keepin' on and I eventually poked through to the other side.

Funny thing is, in the past 4 months, due to a back injury, I have done very little exercise. (Okay, and my motivation level is down too.) Yet I have stuck to good eating, just around 1200 or so calories a day, and I am consistently losing weight each week.

I planned to lose more weight this year than I actually did, but with 45 lbs. lost, I am ecstatic!!! How is my depression? Not great. But I have to say that I have a deep satisfaction in knowing that I set my mind to something and I AM DOING IT. A little every day, I am doing it.

I don't have pictures - my embarassment runs too deep for that. There is a pic or 2 of me somewhere in my fattest of fat days, perhaps when I'm closer to my goal, I will post comparisons. You'll just have to keep watching.

On March 19, 2012, I woke feeling good. Can't wait to see me on March 19, 2013!!!

samandlucysmum

Well done to you, it takes great courage an determination to take on depression, but you did, and you dod it the right way, and it has benefitted you in many ways.

craignev

You've done superbly so far.

I love your determination, especially though those plateau months.

Keep up the great work.

iysys

way to go! i hit 45 pounds on sunday myself. pretty exciting.

suziesue9

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us all, you are an inspiration to us all! I feel even more motivated now!

amymrls

Go you!

witrixie2011

Inspirational! Thanks for sharing your story with us! :flowerforyou:

Sheri3182

Terrific Job! I know you are extremely proud of yourself.... Keep up the great work!

sqtolliver

Congrats! I just realized today is my 1 year also and I'm down 45 lbs since this time last year. You rock! Keep up the good work. Funny how this was hard work a year ago, now its just a bout of our routine.

Tashry

You are amazing! Be proud!! What an inspiration!

1_Happy_Camper

what a motivating story. thank you for sharing it. I think a lot of us get started and want to lose a bunch of weight quickly and we forget that it took us months, if not years, to get where we were when we decided to make a change. I started two months ago and it is inspiring to see someone that has been at it for a year and had steady consistent, maintanable results.

way to go and keep up the good work!

BlueInkDot

What an incredible incredible story. I don't know you but I am so proud of you! I love that you documented your weight loss the way you did, it helps you to see the long term and to see how what you do every day affects your future.

I love seeing these posts, because I can see what type of mindset is the kind that WORKS. Your positivity and commitment is what got you through, and I plan to do the same. Thank you so much for the encouragement and the story.

I learned from you that no matter how down or depressed or self-depricating I may get - I CAN STILL PUSH PAST IT AND SUCCEED. Thank you again.

bethhyg

The point is that you kept on with it. I needed to be reminded of this today. No matter how small of a loss. It was still a loss and the overall progress is what counts. Thanks for posting this today.

pigwidgeon82

you are so inspiring! i loved seeing the breakdown of how much you lost each month and so pleased to see you beat that plateau!

GREAT JOB! thanks for sharing!!

laineylynnfit

Congratulations