Is it Time To Accept Defeat?

rolyprince

Is today the day to accept that I might not reach my goal weight? I know the answer I would give if I'd seen somene else post that question. But I've been stuck in the same 7lbs for the last 9 months. I put a bit on and then lose it again Yo Yoing around the same weights and I'm beginning to wonder if I CAN break the elusive 200lbs mark let alone lose these last 20lbs that will get me to my ideal weight.
I've tried everything. I've reduced my calories and then read I might not be eating enough so I've upped my calories to include my exercise calories. No change.

I've added a mixture of weight training and cardio to my exercise. No change

I've increased my protein, reduced my carbs, become fanatical about my macros. No change.

I'm drinking at least 8 cups of water a day most days it's more than that. NO change.

Of course I'm not going to go back to my previous lifestyle. I can feel and see the hard work I've put in and I'm proud of that. And I don't think I could go back to that now anyway. If I don't exercise for a couple of days I'm iching to do something! What's that all about!!
But we have all set ourselves goals we would like to acheive. And after all the reading I have done and all the changes I have made I just wonder if mine are realistic and acheivable. Maybe the time has come to accept that this is my new healthy body and be happy with it.

Laura8603

Acceptance is good. Celebrate how far you have come and focus on health and fitness. Sometimes our bodies just stop no matter what we do.

GretchenReine

First off, you look absolutely gorgeous and amazing and have come so far. You've done a great job! I've loved having you on the last couple of challenges with me. You're always working hard and busting butt. Don't give up. Maybe give yourself a break and go back to the basics. I know you can get under the 200 if you want to and plateaus get annoying. But I have faith in you!!!

xoxox
Gretchen

Kait1215

if it were me struggling with the same 7 lbs for nine months i would talk to my Dr about it, you have already had amazing success, but being so close to goal... the worst that could happen is they tell you your healthy and to stop, best case scenero they give you the tips you need to break through your plateau. GOOD LUCK!

alt1268

I continue to hit plateua's myself. I don't wait more then 4 days then get pissed off. Take a pick out day then start back. That works most of the time for me. 7 months is a long time. Take a break then get right back on.

HittingHerStride

Who set your goal weight? Maybe it is time to reconsider what you think your goal weight is versus what your body thinks it's healthy weight is.

SusanleeBee

A big cheat day, and then right back on usually bumps my weight loss back into gear. Cupcakes for everyone!

DantheMan2517

87 lbs, zheesh, I wish I could have complaints like that. But I agree with Kait1215 that being so close to your goal and not reaching it must be frustrating. I have read, as I'm sure you have also, posts from folks who said that being in the area of 10 lbs within the goal are the most stubborn lbs to get rid of. Can you just maintain now? You have already reduced and avoided so many health risks already. Good for you Bro.

Dan

KristieWade

Is your goal set on what should be considered the best weight for your height/BMI or is it a goal you set for yourself? Have you tried adding a multivitamin to your diet? one person said the other day that they heard if you plataeu then try turning your workout routine backwards...For me it usually takes one really BAD day of eating then back to my normal healthy eating to get off the plataeu. It's crazy but it works for me. If your goal is set on what is healthy for your height then I'd say keep trying with the condition that you stop if you feel great about how you look and feel. Also, if you haven't seen a doctor for a regular checkup then I would do that as well, before giving up. Before I even started losing weight my doctor ran all the yearly test to make sure there were not underlying problems that could cause weight gain such as diabetes, hypothyroidism..etc etc.. It's a healthy thing to do anyway. My insurance gives me a discount of 20% a year just to get my regular yearly checkup and to complete a health survey. Not all insurances do that, but most all that I have found at least pay for the yearly physical.

fmeisele

Ok so I read your post and I thought I wrote it. Of course, first off, congrats on the 87lbs, what a huge change. I like the suggestion about talking to your Doc if you haven't already. I did that. Sometimes it just is what it is. I personally am at the point where the conversation in my head is "I'm going to do what I know I should be doing and my body will do what it does. @#$% the scale!!!" A year, two years, five years from now, if I'm lucky, I'll be alive and kickin'. By then I'll have reached my goal weight or not. Either way I'll be healthy and happy. BEST OF LUCK TO YA!!!!!!

ejohndrow

87lbs lost isn't defeat. You may not see the number on the scale that you'd originally planned for, but you've lost and kept off a significant amount of weight. I know how you feel, going through the same few lbs over and over-but it isn't failure. Just focus on remaining healthy through diet and exercise and maybe you'll lose weight, maybe you'll stay the same-just remember you haven't been defeated.

vim_n_vigor

How did you pick your ideal weight? If you are looking at BMI, your ideal weight could be too low for your body. It is an average of a large population. Your bone structure and body composition affect whether the BMI ideal weight is the right one for you. For me, my ideal weight is too low. Last time I was at my ideal weight, I looked and felt ill.

lambertj

Fantastic job - wow! Very impressive. Just curious, do you get enough sleep? Do you every get a nice relaxing massage? I find that getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night is imperative to weight loss and massage is good for stress and releases toxins from the body. Worth a shot as it seems like you are doing everything else right.

Squidgeypaws007

Are you happy with your body now? How did you come to your ideal weight? Are you healthy?

My first reaction to this question would be no: don't ever give up, but, you've had such amazing loss it may be that your body has set itself it's limit. It might be an idea to go to your doc and just see what they say - whether you're actually at the right weight or not.

But other posters have been right - celebrate what you have done!!

keepsiejess

Maybe its time for a *game changer*. Perhaps you should begin to focus more intently on the body fat % segment of your goals rather than over all body weight. This will undoubtedly involve diving into some new habits and understandings that you are likely oh so ready for.

Seems like you have come a long way to give up on your goals, so perhaps you need to readjust them to be closer to the reality of where you are now.

shoeman49

Don't talk yourself into defeat. Start fresh with new way's to reach your goal. The difference between Peyton Manning & Ryan leaf , Peyton worked harder to be the best.. You can do it if you just want to..

DrHDLM

First of all, don't weight yourself, measure your body fat index, that's the important thing here, forget about weight!!!
what you actually need is to increase your weight!! What?! yes increase it!
what do i mean? Increase your Muscle mass, that way your going to increase your metabolic Fat burning machine.

So now particularly to you, you've been dieting and reducing calories, that's wrong if you're trying to increase weight (muscle mass) your body will hit a stand on your weight inf you're reducing your muscle mass, the less you eat the less muscle you'll have because the body starts eating himself. So now you need to do a reset on your metabolism.

My recommendation will be, stop "dieting" for a whole week, keep doing your regular exercises don't be afraid to gain a little weight on that week, maybe you already consumed your muscle mass and you need to replenish back your fat burning machine.

Now try to eat nutritious food, why!? maybe you have a imbalance on your hormones causing a metabolic syndrome even though you're are not fat for your height.

Stop dieting for a week, start uptaking aminoacids, complex carbs only, no refined food, that means nothing that comes in: cans, bags or boxes. that way you'll increase your glycogen in your body giving you more energy for your muscles and detoxifying a little bit of yourself.

If you want check out the paleo "diet" and a few documentaries called: "fat, sick and nearly dead" and "food matters" that will give you a way to start getting to the correct pathway to star getting a balance on your body hormones.

Drink lots and lots of water not 8 glasses of 8 ounces! no no no this is wrong you have to drink and drink and drink water as long as you're eating and doing exercise and you don't have a kidney condition or Hypertension you are ok.

Sleep this is an other of your most important things, you need to rest, your body needs it to actually create a hormone balance between other important things.

For now start by stopping your current diet witch i don't know what it is, continue your exercise, don't eat processed food, increase your water intake and sleep, then after that week, start a weight lifting routine and just 20 mins of cardiovascular exercise after the weight lift, increase your aminoacids intake and protein intake, keep eating complex carbs, all your fruits and vegetables and eat a well balanced diet!

Increase your Muscle mass and just forget about weight you'll see the difference on your body, if you keep checking your weight you'll create excess stress hormones that won't let you loose the weight and actually wont let you reduce your body fat.

kekl

Some great advice here! Congratulations for your weight loss, first of all.

Have you thought of going on maintenence for awhile? Up your calories, keep exercising, and drop the focus of losing weight for awhile before you get back in there. A couple weeks (or even more) of maintenence may be the break your body (and mind) need.

twocsmom

I'm in the same boat with the last 10 pounds but I don't consider it defeat. I'm at a healthy weight right now so this may just be my body's "goal weight". I've come to the conclusion that I'm better off calling what my mind wants my goal to be my "wish weight". Sometimes wishes come true and sometimes they don't...if they don't I've decided to accept that this is where my body knows it needs to be.

L00py_T0ucan

First of all, don't weight yourself, measure your body fat index

...

Increase your Muscle mass and just forget about weight you'll see the difference on your body, if you keep checking your weight you'll create excess stress hormones that won't let you loose the weight and actually wont let you reduce your body fat.

^ What he said!

By the way, you've accomplished a lot already, so even if you re-adjust your goals, I would not call it defeat!
85 pounds...great job! :flowerforyou:

rolyprince

Thanks to everyone for some great advice and for your words of encouragement. I am very proud of the weight I've lost and when I look back at photo's it's difficult to believe it's the same person. And like I said I know I wont go back to being that person.

My goal weight is based on my lean body mass and there's a calculator at fat2fit.com that gave me a number to aim for. I would like to get close to that number. Unfortunately I'm now carrying most of my fat around my middle and I still feel like I've got some 'timber' I want to get rid of.

I have thought about concentrating on my body fat% and not worring about my weight. The major flaw I have with that is my scales show me my weight before it shows me my body fat!! Kind of makes it difficult to ignore.

I will take on board everything you've all had to say and try and make some of the changes you've suggested. It's just getting used to the idea of changing what has worked so well in the past. But 'a change is as good as a rest' as my nan used to say. :-)

Helloitsdan

Let me run numbers for you and see if we are on the same page?

Age
Height
Body Fat %
Weight
How often you work out

minnesota_deere

please open your diet and exercise to the public so we can see whats going on. you can look at mine, i am not anywhere near 87pounds however i have consistently losing weight.

bcattoes

Of course I'm not going to go back to my previous lifestyle. I can feel and see the hard work I've put in and I'm proud of that. And I don't think I could go back to that now anyway. If I don't exercise for a couple of days I'm iching to do something! What's that all about!!
But we have all set ourselves goals we would like to acheive. And after all the reading I have done and all the changes I have made I just wonder if mine are realistic and acheivable. Maybe the time has come to accept that this is my new healthy body and be happy with it.

If your new body is healthy, then you should absolutely be happy with it. I understand the desire the see a certain number on the scale or caliper but there really is nothing as wonderful as being healthy. I've seen many people post "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" and that may be true for them, but I'd ammend it to say "nothing tastes as good as healthy feels".

JeanniebeanL79

awwwww....dont give up!!! You look AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! Have you tried a body cleanse like Isagenix? It is kind of costly, which is why I have not tried it yet but I have spoken to professionals about it and it is a ten day cleanse that can jump start you out of a plateau. Maintaining for now is also good idea I saw someone say.....It is true, keep doing what you are doing. Either way you have made a huge change and look great!

Nikki_42

Whatever you do, it's fair from "defeat"! Seriously, it's just another change. It's not like you're quitting, you're reevaluating. That's perfectly healthy and should be done at different stages.

Enjoy where you are and maybe relax about it some. It may happen when you stress less about it. Or it may be your body saying 'slow down' for a second. Either way, it's all good.

Nikki_42

Whatever you do, it's fair from "defeat"! Seriously, it's just another change. It's not like you're quitting, you're reevaluating. That's perfectly healthy and should be done at different stages.

Enjoy where you are and maybe relax about it some. It may happen when you stress less about it. Or it may be your body saying 'slow down' for a second. Either way, it's all good.

Fair = Far lol. Too early in the morning.

minnesota_deere

looked at your workout routine it appears we do just about the same stuff, if it were me i would eat less, net 1000 calories, increase vegetable intake, i have realized this gives me more energy than anything else on the menu, they lack flavor, use a tablespoon of butter or a marinade with some splenda. again this is what i would do. i am sure i will be attacked for the "starvation mode" theory. if I go over the 1000 net calories i make up for it, either that night or the next morning and put some workout calories on the day i was over to balance it out. like yesterday i did not work out and i went over 1000 calories, so this morning i will run a 1000 cals and put it in yesterdays exercise and tonight i will run for about 800-900 calories, it seems to work, i play catch up a lot but i like knowing what i need to do to maintain my net cal goal.

rolyprince

I've opened up my diary for those who wanted to have a look.

Helloitsdan here's the info you were after

Age - 40
Height - 70in
Body Fat % - 28.2% according to my scale this morning
Weight - 203.2lb
How often you work out - 4-5 times week for usually about 30-40mins

lambertj

Here is what I get at Fat2Fit

Activity Level Daily Calories
Sedentary (little or no exercise, desk job) 2165
Lightly Active (light exercise/sports 1-3 days/wk) 2481
Moderately Active (moderate exercise/sports 3-5 days/wk) 2796
Very Active (hard exercise/sports 6-7 days/wk) 3112
Extremely Active (hard daily exercise/sports & physical job or 2X day training, i.e marathon, contest etc.) 3428

http://www.fat2fitradio.com/tools/bmr/

lambertj

I think you need to eat more. I upped my calories 2-3 weeks ago and for the first week I actually gained but now I'm finally losing again.