When Does one Cease to be Single? When exclusive, when marri

Options
ShoeDeahva
ShoeDeahva Posts: 82 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm curious about when one stops being single. Is it when you get married? Is it when you are exclusive with someone? I have been seeing a lot of people in relationships say they are married but aren't actually engaged and haven't set a wedding date. I primarily see Women do this. Is this a mistake? Is this the newage dating. What are your thoughts? Inquiring minds want to know . . .
«1

Replies

  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
    Options
    You stop being single when you stop dating other people. You aren't married until you have that legal document. My only exception for that would be gay couples who still aren't allowed to get married legally. If Bob wants to introduce Dave as his husband I'm fine with that. It just means they would be married if the government wasn't so dang involved in people's personal lives.


    ETA - the only people I've ever known who said they were married when they aren't even engaged (aside from gay couples) are teenage girls. IMO it makes them look silly and stupid.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    Options
    I stop being single when I consider someone my boyfriend and they consider me their girlfriend. Once they are my boyfriend, I will commit 100% and not date other people.

    I've never met someone who said they were married, but weren't even engaged, so maybe it is new age...

    PS: Bahet, I love your avatar picture! :laugh:
  • bhalter
    bhalter Posts: 582 Member
    Options
    I agree with what the previous posters have said. You're single until you start dating someone exclusively, and you're not married until you have a marriage certificate.

    Teenage girls and immature people are the only ones I've seen with "married" FB statuses that aren't really married. My fiance's ex-girlfriend was with a guy for 4+ years and they had kids together, and she always referred to him in public as her "husband" and her boyfriend's mom as her "mother-in-law," and made my fiance's daughter call her boyfriend her step-dad. She just wanted to legitimize her relationship.
  • DsAdvocate
    DsAdvocate Posts: 93 Member
    Options
    I know many common-law couples that consider themselves married. Some even have wedding rings, they just never felt the need to actually get married on paper.
  • GretelPetal91
    GretelPetal91 Posts: 84
    Options
    When facebook says so haha

    But seriously... I thought people would understand the relationship levels better than that. You're single when you're not sharing a mutual commitment with someone, you're in a relationship when you do have that commitment, engaged when your partner asks (make sure they aren't joking), and you are married when the government says so. (apart from the poor gays who get no respect :( as stated above)
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    Options
    in my opinion, you stop being single when you've had "the talk". Once the two of you decide to become exclusive, you're not single. And, you're not married, until you're married. With the exception of common law marriage, but even then, not really. I wouldn't go around calling someone my husband if I hadn't taken his last name and had official documentation, but that's just me.
  • violetness
    violetness Posts: 131 Member
    Options
    I think you stop being single when you and your partner discuss it and mutually decide that you are in a relationship. I think too many people rush into this, and they think that they have a "relationship" too soon. In my opinion, it takes several months to actually have a real relationship with someone, because the first part of dating is the "honeymoon" phase so to speak, and you may fall in love, but you don't really know the person well enough until you get past that.
  • GretelPetal91
    GretelPetal91 Posts: 84
    Options
    I just realised my sentence " I thought people would understand the relationship levels better than that" sounded rude to the person who started the thread... sorry, it was directed towards the people who are making things up without putting any effort into making it true.
  • MrsLVF
    MrsLVF Posts: 787 Member
    Options
    in my opinion, you stop being single when you've had "the talk". Once the two of you decide to become exclusive, you're not single. And, you're not married, until you're married. With the exception of common law marriage, but even then, not really. I wouldn't go around calling someone my husband if I hadn't taken his last name and had official documentation, but that's just me.

    Exactly this!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Options
    Huh, that's odd. I'm not sure where the OP is seeing this but I can only assume it's on some social network site and maybe there's no option for relationship status between Single and Married? So even though they're not married, they're in an exlcusive relationship and consider themselves "off the market" so they choose Married in order to avoid being hit on?

    There are other reasons I can think of but they're purely egotistical and don't really make sense...like they're saying they're married because it's embarrassing to say they've been in a relationship with the same guy for 5 years and they're not even engaged. Who knows, people are crazy!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    For IRS and Census purposes, it's when you get legally married.

    For whether you can date other people purposes, it's when you are exclusive.

    I've lived with my boyfriend for seven years. People jokingly refer to him as my husband, but it's just a joke.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Options
    For IRS and Census purposes, it's when you get legally married.

    For whether you can date other people purposes, it's when you are exclusive.

    I've lived with my boyfriend for seven years. People jokingly refer to him as my husband, but it's just a joke.

    This is why when I hit of some girl who says they are married I ask for documentation. Otherwise they are playing hard to get.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    Options
    My fiance's ex-girlfriend was with a guy for 4+ years and they had kids together, and she always referred to him in public as her "husband" and her boyfriend's mom as her "mother-in-law," and made my fiance's daughter call her boyfriend her step-dad. She just wanted to legitimize her relationship.
    That is called common-law marriage...
  • ShoeDeahva
    ShoeDeahva Posts: 82 Member
    Options
    For IRS and Census purposes, it's when you get legally married.

    For whether you can date other people purposes, it's when you are exclusive.

    I've lived with my boyfriend for seven years. People jokingly refer to him as my husband, but it's just a joke.

    ^^^^^^^ This.
    I am an accountant so I could be jaded. LOL! I am also married. However, in my mind I ceased being single when I said I do. I was exclusive after a week with my BF that became my Hubby 2 years later but I had been exclusive, engaged, living together and the invites were sent and my ex called the wedding off 4 weeks prior. Thus, although I knew Hubby was the one and has been for 10 years, I was Single until we both said I do in front of God, our families and friends in 2004.

    IMO, when Men or Women use the term Married, Husband, Wife, etc (when they aren't or aren't attempting to keep the Circus Freaks away) it isn't wise. Why give the milk away for Free and Tell people you are the cow--when you are just the Milk. Albeit perhaps lovingly the bottle of milk--but still just the milk. :)
  • Mel1509
    Mel1509 Posts: 166 Member
    Options
    in my opinion, you stop being single when you've had "the talk". Once the two of you decide to become exclusive, you're not single. And, you're not married, until you're married. With the exception of common law marriage, but even then, not really. I wouldn't go around calling someone my husband if I hadn't taken his last name and had official documentation, but that's just me.

    This!

    Fiance and I have lived together for two years, I have never referred to him as my husband, that would be weird in my opinion! Thou, in three months we will be married :) !
  • ShoeDeahva
    ShoeDeahva Posts: 82 Member
    Options
    My fiance's ex-girlfriend was with a guy for 4+ years and they had kids together, and she always referred to him in public as her "husband" and her boyfriend's mom as her "mother-in-law," and made my fiance's daughter call her boyfriend her step-dad. She just wanted to legitimize her relationship.
    That is called common-law marriage...

    I thought common law marriage was after 7 years . . .
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    My fiance's ex-girlfriend was with a guy for 4+ years and they had kids together, and she always referred to him in public as her "husband" and her boyfriend's mom as her "mother-in-law," and made my fiance's daughter call her boyfriend her step-dad. She just wanted to legitimize her relationship.
    That is called common-law marriage...

    I thought common law marriage was after 7 years . . .

    It's more complicated than that. Just living together for so many years does not make it a common law marriage, even with children. And not every state allows common law marriage.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    For IRS and Census purposes, it's when you get legally married.

    For whether you can date other people purposes, it's when you are exclusive.

    I've lived with my boyfriend for seven years. People jokingly refer to him as my husband, but it's just a joke.

    This is why when I hit of some girl who says they are married I ask for documentation. Otherwise they are playing hard to get.

    True. Very true.
  • boston6
    boston6 Posts: 158 Member
    Options
    "I'm curious about when one stops being single."

    Depends if you ask the male in the relationship or the female! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    Options
    My fiance's ex-girlfriend was with a guy for 4+ years and they had kids together, and she always referred to him in public as her "husband" and her boyfriend's mom as her "mother-in-law," and made my fiance's daughter call her boyfriend her step-dad. She just wanted to legitimize her relationship.
    That is called common-law marriage...

    I thought common law marriage was after 7 years . . .


    I think it depends on the state. Texas can be 6 months IF bills come to the house with both names, i.e. you are Barbara Smith and he is Joe Green and the bills say Barbara Green, etc. In Texas, that can be claimed as common law after 6 months living together. But, that still isn't legally binding.

Categories