How Dare You!!!!!

NU2U

I, like many of you here..have struggled with my weight for YEARS!! I have literally tried every method on earth to lose fat, and become healthier. I joined a gym, and grew tired of that QUICKLY. I found myself frustrated with being surrounded by all the itty bitty people..and none that looked like me.

I've tried diets..you name it, I've probably tried it. Yes, I lost a few lbs...but I was STARVING all the time..and very angry. Gradually, the frustration of putting in the effort to receive minimal results..led me to abandon all the rules.

However..over the past month, I believe I have truly found what works for me. But, before I tell you my saving grace..let me tell you a short story...

My friend, who had also had weight problems..and at one time had gotten up to 260lbs, and suffering from blood pressure problems..finally did something about his weight..and managed to drop 50lbs of fat. I was amazed. I still am. He looks sooo great. I'm always telling him how awesome he looks..

Ok

So I tell him all the time about my efforts..and the changes I am making in order to become the person I'm supposed to be. Hey..my new diet has given me immeasurable energy throughout the day..and I'm alot more active. I am reducing fat...at a slow rate, but any rate in my opinion is GREAT! Wow..I'm even doing yoga now, and dancing again.

Today..he took everything I've told him and literally laughed in my face. All of my efforts...my achievements..my milestones....HE REDUCED THEM TO NOTHING.

He's always complimenting others on their success..even though most, if not all of them...including him...had tried many methods for YEARS..before they finally found the right one for THEM!

I'm following the Warrior Diet...and for me, it has been my miracle. I'm shedding real fat, I have tons of energy..and my cravings, mood, and overall health has stabilized.

How can he just stomp my efforts and accomplishments like that...but compliment everyone else?

Has this ever happened to anyone else? And how did you handle it?

I won't let this stop me...because I have come such a long way, and I'm already seeing the real me emerging. But, his comments ripped my heart out and made me cry.

Sqeekyjojo

He wants you to be the fat one, so he can continue being told he looks great.

RachelVon

Honestly,
that diet looks like a bit of a fad diet. It looks like they are big on selling stuff like protein, whey, chocolate bars, mineral stuff, and books! Undereating during the day? Overeating at night? Hmmm... I have never heard of something like that before

NU2U

Honestly,
that diet looks like a bit of a fad diet. It looks like they are big on selling stuff like protein, whey, chocolate bars, mineral stuff, and books! Undereating during the day? Overeating at night? Hmmm... I have never heard of something like that before

**************
I've actually tweeked it to better fit my own needs. And I don't under/ over eat. I'll have a couple small apples and nuts during the day...and dinner at 5 or 6. And I'm still at my daily calorie allotment. I never buy the products..I just take Omega 3's and a multivitamin.

lizard053

That is not cool! How could he be so supportive of everyone but you? Totally unfair of him! You just have to let it go, now that you've vented. It will only hurt your progress. Congrats, by the way, on finding what works for you! I wish you all the best and continued success!

PeaceCorpsKat

This sounds like an advertisment. Who really says "droped 50lbs of fat?"

No one even has a way to know that.

BruteSquad

If you found something that works for you and doesn't mess up your health. Rock on. How much of a friend is he REALLY? I don't really know, but from your words I have to wonder.

NU2U

This sounds like an advertisment. Who really says "droped 50lbs of fat?"

No one even has a way to know that.

***********
I say it!! I say it because even when I have thrown away 4 pairs of pants that sag too much now....the scale stays the same....that's real fatloss..and not an advertisement.

And stop being so mean..

Meaganandcheese

Doesn't sound like much of a friend. I think the first weight I would get rid of would be the dead weight of a toxic relationship.

NU2U

If you found something that works for you and doesn't mess up your health. Rock on. How much of a friend is he REALLY? I don't really know, but from your words I have to wonder.

I actually feel healthier..and I WANT to do more now..move around more. Last weekend I flew a kite with my kids..played in the yard..and drove my son's gokart. It's not the method ..but the actual results from being able to control my appetite now, instead of letting it control me.

Thanks for the advice :-)

Di3012

I, like many of you here..have struggled with my weight for YEARS!! I have literally tried every method on earth to lose fat, and become healthier. I joined a gym, and grew tired of that QUICKLY. I found myself frustrated with being surrounded by all the itty bitty people..and none that looked like me.

I've tried diets..you name it, I've probably tried it. Yes, I lost a few lbs...but I was STARVING all the time..and very angry. Gradually, the frustration of putting in the effort to receive minimal results..led me to abandon all the rules.

However..over the past month, I believe I have truly found what works for me. But, before I tell you my saving grace..let me tell you a short story...

My friend, who had also had weight problems..and at one time had gotten up to 260lbs, and suffering from blood pressure problems..finally did something about his weight..and managed to drop 50lbs of fat. I was amazed. I still am. He looks sooo great. I'm always telling him how awesome he looks..

Ok

So I tell him all the time about my efforts..and the changes I am making in order to become the person I'm supposed to be. Hey..my new diet has given me immeasurable energy throughout the day..and I'm alot more active. I am reducing fat...at a slow rate, but any rate in my opinion is GREAT! Wow..I'm even doing yoga now, and dancing again.

Today..he took everything I've told him and literally laughed in my face. All of my efforts...my achievements..my milestones....HE REDUCED THEM TO NOTHING.

He's always complimenting others on their success..even though most, if not all of them...including him...had tried many methods for YEARS..before they finally found the right one for THEM!

I'm following the Warrior Diet...and for me, it has been my miracle. I'm shedding real fat, I have tons of energy..and my cravings, mood, and overall health has stabilized.

How can he just stomp my efforts and accomplishments like that...but compliment everyone else?

Has this ever happened to anyone else? And how did you handle it?

I won't let this stop me...because I have come such a long way, and I'm already seeing the real me emerging. But, his comments ripped my heart out and made me cry.

If he is doing that right to your face, ask him to his face why he is acting that way.

If he does not come up with a reasonable reason, shake your shoes and move on without him as a friend.

cyclerjenn

I feel your pain, My boyfriend is the same way. When I tell him i'm going to the gym in the morning he laughs at me. He is always trying to hinder my meal plans and take me to my favorite resturants where he knows I'm going to overeat.

I handle this by just ignoring him and doing the things I want to do anyways. Don't let him get you down, the only person that is standing in your way to reach your dreams is you.

NU2U

I feel your pain, My boyfriend is the same way. When I tell him i'm going to the gym in the morning he laughs at me. He is always trying to hinder my meal plans and take me to my favorite resturants where he knows I'm going to overeat.

I handle this by just ignoring him and doing the things I want to do anyways. Don't let him get you down, the only person that is standing in your way to reach your dreams is you.

He basically.....really basically told me that if I'm not like him...or (the women) he compliments all the time for finally losing weight by running a gazillion miles or spending endless hours in the gym......then what I'm actually doing ( taking babysteps)....is nothing that warrants a compliment.

Different things work for different people...I haven't worked up to that yet...but I am finally getting off my butt more....isn't that the way any race is won?

prettygirlhoward

Don't let someone elses negative thinking get in your way of doing what you feel is best for you and is working for you!!
Keep trying and you'll be happier that you followed your own plan....and not someone elses comment.

Not everyone is going to agree with your choices (I'm on the same boat) I recently began the hcg (****shhhhh, might get a lot bad comments about that****) but the way I see it is.........

1. If I'm not hurting you
2. If You're Not being forced to do it

Then don't worry about how I handle mine!!

It's just that type of attitude and negativity that will get you no where!! Be positive girl and do what you feel works for YOU!!
You are the one that has to live in your body and with results and the outcome...

Just like every other diet out there there is ALWAYS GOING TO BE A PRO OR CON about it...


:smooched:

NU2U

Don't let someone elses negative thinking get in your way of doing what you feel is best for you and is working for you!!
Keep trying and you'll be happier that you followed your own plan....and not someone elses comment.

Not everyone is going to agree with your choices (I'm on the same boat) I recently began the hcg (****shhhhh, might get a lot bad comments about that****) but the way I see it is.........

1. If I'm not hurting you
2. If You're Not being forced to do it

Then don't worry about how I handle mine!!

It's just that type of attitude and negativity that will get you no where!! Be positive girl and do what you feel works for YOU!!
You are the one that has to live in your body and with results and the outcome...

Just like every other diet out there there is ALWAYS GOING TO BE A PRO OR CON about it...



:smooched:

Wow...I love this post. My spirits have been lifted. I love MFP!!

Di3012

I feel your pain, My boyfriend is the same way. When I tell him i'm going to the gym in the morning he laughs at me. He is always trying to hinder my meal plans and take me to my favorite resturants where he knows I'm going to overeat.

I handle this by just ignoring him and doing the things I want to do anyways. Don't let him get you down, the only person that is standing in your way to reach your dreams is you.

He basically.....really basically told me that if I'm not like him...or (the women) he compliments all the time for finally losing weight by running a gazillion miles or spending endless hours in the gym......then what I'm actually doing ( taking babysteps)....is nothing that warrants a compliment.

Different things work for different people...I haven't worked up to that yet...but I am finally getting off my butt more....isn't that the way any race is won?

Do you really want a compliment from such a prat? Just walk away and definitely don't bother upping his ego again. He sounds as though he has gotten too big for his bootees.

prettygirlhoward

Don't let someone elses negative thinking get in your way of doing what you feel is best for you and is working for you!!
Keep trying and you'll be happier that you followed your own plan....and not someone elses comment.

Not everyone is going to agree with your choices (I'm on the same boat) I recently began the hcg (****shhhhh, might get a lot bad comments about that****) but the way I see it is.........

1. If I'm not hurting you
2. If You're Not being forced to do it

Then don't worry about how I handle mine!!

It's just that type of attitude and negativity that will get you no where!! Be positive girl and do what you feel works for YOU!!
You are the one that has to live in your body and with results and the outcome...

Just like every other diet out there there is ALWAYS GOING TO BE A PRO OR CON about it...



:smooched:

Wow...I love this post. My spirits have been lifted. I love MFP!!

NU2U

I feel your pain, My boyfriend is the same way. When I tell him i'm going to the gym in the morning he laughs at me. He is always trying to hinder my meal plans and take me to my favorite resturants where he knows I'm going to overeat.

I handle this by just ignoring him and doing the things I want to do anyways. Don't let him get you down, the only person that is standing in your way to reach your dreams is you.

He basically.....really basically told me that if I'm not like him...or (the women) he compliments all the time for finally losing weight by running a gazillion miles or spending endless hours in the gym......then what I'm actually doing ( taking babysteps)....is nothing that warrants a compliment.

Different things work for different people...I haven't worked up to that yet...but I am finally getting off my butt more....isn't that the way any race is won?

Do you really want a compliment from such a prat? Just walk away and definitely don't bother upping his ego again. He sounds as though he has gotten too big for his bootees.

prettygirlhoward

:happy: LOL! I'm glad that it helps...... Hang in there girl, you can do it!

NU2U

I feel your pain, My boyfriend is the same way. When I tell him i'm going to the gym in the morning he laughs at me. He is always trying to hinder my meal plans and take me to my favorite resturants where he knows I'm going to overeat.

I handle this by just ignoring him and doing the things I want to do anyways. Don't let him get you down, the only person that is standing in your way to reach your dreams is you.

He basically.....really basically told me that if I'm not like him...or (the women) he compliments all the time for finally losing weight by running a gazillion miles or spending endless hours in the gym......then what I'm actually doing ( taking babysteps)....is nothing that warrants a compliment.

Different things work for different people...I haven't worked up to that yet...but I am finally getting off
my butt more....isn't that the way any race is won?

Do you really want a compliment from such a prat? Just walk
away and definitely don't bother upping his ego again. He sounds as though he has gotten too big for his bootees.

You know something.......I am at fault here. I tell him soooo much how great he looks..always complimenting him on how tiny his waist is now...not even looking for a return compliment....but I'm always like "WOW!!" when I see him.

Maybe he feels now that he's ABOVE my compliments...because he gets so many now from "fit" women.


It's funny though...even when he was heavy..I will still like "WOW!!" whenever I saw him.....but he won't ever get another WOW out of me...EVER!!!

andreanicole686

I'm so so sorry he did that to you! That should make you keep fighting even more! Maybe he doesn't want you to lose weight or maybe he is jealous?! Who knows but keep up the great work you'll get there too.

NU2U

I'm so so sorry he did that to you! That should make you keep fighting even more! Maybe he doesn't want you to lose weight or maybe he is jealous?! Who knows but keep up the great work you'll get there too.

OMG....I love your stomach...I wanna eat peanut butter off of it!!
And I'm 100% straight....but wow!!

See, I say wow wayyy too much :-)

butterfly10398

I understand wanting approval and even praise from people who are close to you... But I had to learn the hard way, you got to be proud of yourself, and thats all that matters... When all the weight comes off and you are healthy, he will finally start taking notice, but don't expect him to validate you or your efforts or accomplishments, because it may not ever happen... I went thru this with someone VERY close to me... And I had to accept it that they weren't going to approve... And just a little while ago I heard him saying to somebody else how good I had done at getting off and keeping off my weight. :-) Keep your head up and do what works for you...

chessie1971

Based on your post, I can only guess what your friends motivations are; perhaps, he jealous or it is some control thing. Either way we can only assume and suspect. Have you been direct with your friend about your concerns? Have asked your friend why do you compliment everyone else but not me? Tell your friend how it makes you feel. This obviously bothers you and so you should talk to your friend about it or else it will become toxic in your relationship. If he can't talk to you then this could be cause for concern.

TIDDYBEAR

Do you have a Planet Fitness gym where you are? They are awesome! Their big claim is "judgement free". A place where ANYONE can go and be comfortable. They don't allow big grunting while lifiting weights. They have a commercial where a guy is showing off his 6 pack and is escorted out the door. I have seen bigger than me and smaller than me there. And it's only 10 bucks a month! Check it out if you can.

Jan

NU2U

I understand wanting approval and even praise from people who are close to you... But I had to learn the hard way, you got to be proud of yourself, and thats all that matters... When all the weight comes off and you are healthy, he will finally start taking notice, but don't expect him to validate you or your efforts or accomplishments, because it may not ever happen... I went thru this with someone VERY close to me... And I had to accept it that they weren't going to approve... And just a little while ago I heard him saying to somebody else how good I had done at getting off and keeping off my weight. :-) Keep your head up and do what works for
you...

Thank you :-)
And I know you're right..and I shouldn't let it bother me. But he constantly compliments people on everything....and it just friggin bothers me that he's just not that generous with the compliments with me.

I'm not saying I need the compliments...but ONE unexpected compliment is very encouraging.

Articeluvsmemphis

maybe he likes you, and that's his man brain speaking, but good for you. keep at it

Articeluvsmemphis

Honestly,
that diet looks like a bit of a fad diet. It looks like they are big on selling stuff like protein, whey, chocolate bars, mineral stuff, and books! Undereating during the day? Overeating at night? Hmmm... I have never heard of something like that before

people will argue with you furiously on how meal frequency does not matter. check for people who do I.F.

Il_DaniD_lI

Honestly,
that diet looks like a bit of a fad diet. It looks like they are big on selling stuff like protein, whey, chocolate bars, mineral stuff, and books! Undereating during the day? Overeating at night? Hmmm... I have never heard of something like that before

who cares? She didn't ask what you thought of it. Did you read the part that says it's working for her? geesh.. get a life people.

I agree that he wants you to be the fat one. He doesn't want you to steal his shine. He is not a very good friend if you ask me.

melhayes1115

Forget him. People can be so negative. I'd much rather lose it slowly, that way you're more likely to keep it off. Great job with your accomplishments!

angjindra

Do What works for you and screw what everyone else says! Good luck!