Hurtful Comment

goodfido

So last weekend I was with a friend that is getting married in June. I was mentioning how I was getting into a work out routine and eating better etc to get healthy and shed some weight. She stated that she too wanted to lose weight to look good for her wedding. She then proceeded to say that when she loses all her weight she'll give me her jeans since she won't fit into them any more.

This comment hurt because we're the same size and same type of build. It was like she didn't think I was serious about being healthier. I know she wasn't trying to be hurtful, I believe she made the comment because she buys expensive jeans that I would never buy for myself so that's why she'd give them to me. It just still was kind of hurtful.

I don't know why this comment still bothers me, it's really not all that big of a deal but yet it is. I'm trying to use it as fuel to continue on my path of a healthier lifestyle.

BamaGirl_Tricia

No worries! Just show her up!

downhomechik

maybe with her pending wedding her mind was elsewhere and she really didn't think about the fact that you'd be in a smaller size as well...it happens. It's like me the other day asking a waitress what the difference between strawberry limeade and straweberry lemonade was....I realized my mistake and got a good laugh over it but I just wasn't thinking because my mind was distracted? However, If she truly meant that...she was being a bit malicious and I agree with platham2...then I would show her up...

kbeller88

What you need to do is focus on the clothes that aren't going to be fitting you within the next few months and when they dont' fit anymore say, I can't fit into these do you want them? 9/10 times the person to jump on the bandwagon gets kicked off before the rest. just sayin

connieparrish

She probably got the idea of her losing weight on her mind and overlooked your. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings. most people that say they are going to lose weight soon stop or gain back the weight so you have to prove it to her.... no to yourself because it's not about her it's about you being happy with your body and being healthy. when you go out together order the healthy meals. i really really recommend taking zumba classes. one class burns 800-1000 calories and last about an hour. And believe me i'm a terrible dancer but it doesnt matter as long as your moving its working. Invite her to go with you if you become the leader of being healthy she will soon be going to you for help and asking you questions. Im a 100 pounds over weight i know its hard to stay on a diet but we have to are life depend on it. And in your friends defense no one wants to feel fat on their wedding day she might be battling her own self esteem problems. she shouldnt have put your goals down like that but shes under alot of stress a girls wedding is the moment they look forward to since they were little so please try to over look it as her not thinking straight and focus on getting to your dream weight because you CAN do it!!! Be that person that when people see you the first thing they will say is "wow you look great you dont even look like the same person. " find a good support system and stay at it. i'm cheering for you

slkehl

Next time tell her how you felt (nicely). I'm working on being more confrontational. I know that sounds weird, but comments like that get under my skin and really bother me. If I address it right away, it feels so much better. You can even joke around like "what, you don't think I'll lose as much weight as you?" And she might not have meant it, and it gives her a change to redeem herself. Or at least realize how it makes you feel and then hopefully she'll be a little more careful.

andreanicole686

Sometimes people say things rudely and don't even realize it. Keep at it and when her wedding comes look great by losing a lot of weight and give her your jeans because I'm sure you'll be the smaller one!

Reeny1_8

You should definately talk to your friend about that. It probably won't be easy but she needs to be aware that it bothered you. Best of luck!

Goodwin1948

Lose the weight for yourself and not just to show her up. If you lose the weight as some sort of revenge thing you will either give up or gain it all back. It really dosent matter what she does, it matters what you do.

MrDude_1

Its this kind of dumb "im hurt from a something" things that I will NEVER understand about females.

meismeems

Its this kind of dumb "im hurt from a something" things that I will NEVER understand about females.

It's like getting poked in a wound....it wouldn't hurt if the wound were not there in the first place. We women are hurt emotionally much easier than men, so we're more sensitive in certain areas, i.e. weight, looks, etc.

You guys are more sensitive in another area.....

MrDude_1

Its this kind of dumb "im hurt from a something" things that I will NEVER understand about females.

It's like getting poked in a wound....it wouldn't hurt if the wound were not there in the first place. We women are hurt emotionally much easier than men, so we're more sensitive in certain areas, i.e. weight, looks, etc.

You guys are more sensitive in another area.....

balding?

seriously though, she didnt insult her. she wasnt even talking about her. she was simply saying "hey I plan to lose so much weight that these clothes wont fit.. im going to be nice and give them to you"
meanwhile you're both the same size.. nither of you have lost "that" weight yet.

so just lose it and prove her wrong... or dont.
but the whole "sad about it" is mostly because you're focusing on how what the other person says could effect you.. rather on what their intent was. the world doesnt revolve around you, so dont think you're the primary focus of every comment.. even if the comment involves you.

tkirkes

Who invited the man to post on this??? LOL I'm joking... the comments made me laugh : ) Meanwhile, lose the weight and show her how its done lol maybe even offer to hand over the clothes that are too big for you hehehe

Lula16

Sometimes people say things rudely and don't even realize it. Keep at it and when her wedding comes look great by losing a lot of weight and give her your jeans because I'm sure you'll be the smaller one!

love this ^^^^^

EbonySD

agree! haters and non-believers (including ourself) are excellent motivation!

LastMinuteMama

No worries! Just show her up!

and then give her your old jeans!

PHATmommy68

Its this kind of dumb "im hurt from a something" things that I will NEVER understand about females.

I'm guessing you are single! Hey, whats up with that hairloss?

fullagrace

Ahh passive aggressive female friends.

It seems like she doesn't think you are actually going to do it AND that she is going to lose the weight faster than you.

You really need encouragement not hateful comments.

You should use it as fuel.

Then once you lose the weight give her your pants and say "I know they aren't the expensive kind you like to buy, but they will fit you and they are obviously way too big for me now."

I know you can do it. Just believe in yourself.

lizard053

Now that you've vented, let it go! Nothing else you can do. Do yourself right and ignore the comment. I'd be upset about it too, so no worries there. Learn to let it go, because it doesn't really matter in the long run!

fullagrace

I did WW in 2008 and I either read or someone told me this: Lose the weight and then give your fat clothes to your fat friends.

This helps motivate me when I feel bummed, or jealous when my friends are all eating DELICIOUS unhealthy food options.

TriTigress

Its this kind of dumb "im hurt from a something" things that I will NEVER understand about females.

I am new, but isn't this message board entitled "Motivation and Support" ? I don't think comments like this are very supportive....Maybe someone needs to buy a dictionary.