When your Mother drives you bananas

kaetra
kaetra Posts: 442 Member
in Chit-Chat
I survived an hour long phone call with My Mother today. Some of the interesting highlights -

*She said the worst thing about her boyfriend having stage 3 cancer is that she has to get up at 6am to drive him to Chemo because he refuses to drive himself "even though he's perfectly capable of driving"
*She spent $3,000 on a full-face laser derma-brasion treatment that was completely ineffective
*She's very irritated by her boyfriend's gloom about his having cancer and wishes he'd "just cheer up"
*She had a huge fight with her sister in law because SIL and Mom's brother bought a house in Florida and "That awful woman is taking my brother away from me. NOW who is going to fix my house when something breaks?"

She is one of the most selfish people in the world. But I got through the call, told her I loved her and then thanked the Lord she lives 5 hours away.

Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,421 Member
    Ha ha...I mean, wow.

    That would drain the life right out of you.

    I thought my family was annoying.
  • onewhodiets
    onewhodiets Posts: 67 Member
    Oh my goodness! It seems my mother-in-law has a clone! You sound like you're quite wonderful at handling it - my husband gets soooo stressed out, understandably, from dealing with his mother and is so good to her, even though she is constantly making his life miserable. If my mom was like that, I'm not sure I could deal with it at all well. As it is, I just try to avoid my MIL to the extent possible.
  • theoriginaljayne
    theoriginaljayne Posts: 559 Member
    I feel sorry for her boyfriend.
    You seem to have handled it very well, though.
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    my mother died 5 years and I miss everything about her... Cherish even the most annoying things about them :noway:
  • kaetra
    kaetra Posts: 442 Member
    I try very hard to "rise above", but it's especially difficult to hear about her being so awful to kind people who love her very much, like her wonderful boyfriend. He is a Saint.

    There was one time years ago though that she asked me what I was going to do when she got to the age that she could no longer care for herself, and I said light-heartedly - "Don't worry Mom, I'm going to put you in the best Nursing Home that your money can buy."

    So, I ain't perfect. :devil:
  • lucythinmint
    lucythinmint Posts: 239
    She doesn't sound that bad.
    My mother was way worse, I stopped speaking to her over a year ago because I couldn't take it anymore. :grumble:
    Your mom seems pretty tolerable. :D
  • hapoo100
    hapoo100 Posts: 926 Member
    my mother died 5 years and I miss everything about her... Cherish even the most annoying things about them :noway:

    ^^this

    my Dad drove me crazy, often we had a bad relationship. He died 2 years ago tomorrow and I would give anything for more time with him. Anything. Cherish it.
  • kaetra
    kaetra Posts: 442 Member
    She doesn't sound that bad.
    My mother was way worse, I stopped speaking to her over a year ago because I couldn't take it anymore. :grumble:
    Your mom seems pretty tolerable. :D

    hehe, you rock <3
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
    my mother died 5 years and I miss everything about her... Cherish even the most annoying things about them :noway:

    ^^this

    my Dad drove me crazy, often we had a bad relationship. He died 2 years ago tomorrow and I would give anything for more time with him. Anything. Cherish it.

    I had some pretty wonderful parents, although we had our moments. They're both gone now, my dad after a years-long battle with an incurable illness, and my mother, who died suddenly, after enjoying good health for 78 years. She died dropping a friend off after a picnic, so I'm happy she had even one last happy day.
  • csull12983
    csull12983 Posts: 2
    My Mom died last Saturday....how I wish I could have a phone call from her again, even if she drove me bananas! I love you, Mom
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
    I survived an hour long phone call with My Mother today. Some of the interesting highlights -

    *She said the worst thing about her boyfriend having stage 3 cancer is that she has to get up at 6am to drive him to Chemo because he refuses to drive himself "even though he's perfectly capable of driving"
    *She spent $3,000 on a full-face laser derma-brasion treatment that was completely ineffective
    *She's very irritated by her boyfriend's gloom about his having cancer and wishes he'd "just cheer up"
    *She had a huge fight with her sister in law because SIL and Mom's brother bought a house in Florida and "That awful woman is taking my brother away from me. NOW who is going to fix my house when something breaks?"

    She is one of the most selfish people in the world. But I got through the call, told her I loved her and then thanked the Lord she lives 5 hours away.

    Must be difficult. Your mother sounds like she just doesn't know her effect on other people, and it's quite possible she has some mental health issues if she's unable to empathize with others. I'm sorry for your stress.
  • katmix
    katmix Posts: 296 Member
    my mother died 5 years and I miss everything about her... Cherish even the most annoying things about them :noway:

    /\ This! My mom's been gone almost 15 years...and I just wasn't done with her being my mom...
  • Kissybiz
    Kissybiz Posts: 361 Member
    I think you handled it well.

    My mother drove me nuts, could be very difficult to be around. I had therapists tell me to cease contact with her because she was toxic. At some point, I stopped answering her calls (which were rare) and only spoke to her on rare short occasions. She passed away 3 years ago. Now all I remember mostly are the good things about her, and I miss being able to call her when I see something, like a beautiful sunset, that she'd love.

    You don't appreciate what you have, until they're gone.
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
    My Mom died last Saturday....how I wish I could have a phone call from her again, even if she drove me bananas! I love you, Mom

    I'm so sorry for your loss.
  • packersfn7
    packersfn7 Posts: 62 Member
    I completely feel for the people who have lost parents. I can't imagine my life without my mom and dad.

    That being said, your family drives you nuts sometimes. REALLY nuts. And it can lead to stress, stress eating, and just a bunch of problems. And some people's parents are far worse than others.
  • katmix
    katmix Posts: 296 Member
    My Mom died last Saturday....how I wish I could have a phone call from her again, even if she drove me bananas! I love you, Mom

    I'm so sorry. It's like being in a club - that no one wants to belong to. (That is how my adult motherless friends and I feel...)
  • supermom2002
    supermom2002 Posts: 180 Member
    I've needed therapy because of my mother. she drives me more than bananas...she drives me nuts. literally. it takes me almost 2 days to calm down after speaking with her for an hour on the phone. I have 2 sisters that say the same thing...

    i know she's the only one i've got and she's there for me in her own way. when she's gone--Dad and I will have a nice cold beer and put our feet on her couch.
  • kaetra
    kaetra Posts: 442 Member
    I am sorry for those who have lost their loved ones, and I can sympathize. And I don't want to trivialize your loss in any way, I truly don't.

    When my mother is gone, I will be sad of course and I will miss her dearly because I love her. I will also be hopeful for her that she will actually be happy in Heaven and not have any complaints about how they are treating her.
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    I can relate though.... When she was alive we had our moments but the second they are gone it is so different :-/
  • hapoo100
    hapoo100 Posts: 926 Member
    I am sorry for those who have lost their loved ones, and I can sympathize. And I don't want to trivialize your loss in any way, I truly don't.

    When my mother is gone, I will be sad of course and I will miss her dearly because I love her. I will also be hopeful for her that she will actually be happy in Heaven and not have any complaints about how they are treating her.

    sweet, funny, and genius at the same time :flowerforyou:
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    in my family we tell each other how we feel. I would tell her that she is behaving selfish. being honest doesnt mean you dont love her.

    i love my mom to pieces. She is annoying and gets on my nerves at times. But when the **** hits the fan she is johnny on the spot. Always has been so I take the good with the bad.

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