Mini Vaca-went crazy in my head.

hubkal

Even though I was so good Monday- Wednesday I went on a mini vacation Thursday though yesterday and tried so hard to stay on a good track.

I ate some bad things but also walked a great deal. I can sure feel the difference my lack of dedication to drinking water and devoted exercise has made in just 3 days. I gained 2 lbs by the scale today, but will get my but moving today at the gym and outside and rev up my water intake. Ill see what the scale has to say in the morning.

I give Louisville KY a very low "good food" scale at the restaurants, none of them gave healthy options or even listed anything that was good. I could have been more forceful on requests and I take responsibility for my drinking and "giving in". I want to blame every one and everything else but ME! But I know that it was JUST ME that made the choices I made, it was ME that was going nuts in my head while making food choices and trying to hide how sick I felt being obsessed but yet still giving in to bad food. I KNOW I COULD HAVE MADE BETTER CHOICES!! I went to bed every night mad at myself.

This is not an easy journey and I know exactly what got me to the place I was at before I "tuned in". This is just going to be a journey and I have to stop being afraid of "being that person" that asks for special food and seems "obsessed" with my food choices. I HAVE to do this because I want to be someone else than who I was, I want to be around for my family.

I can remember having friends that made healthy choices or seeing someone ahead of us in line and thinking "GOD!! they are so obsessed with what they eat" I hated them....maybe because I was not strong enough to make those choices too? or because they seemed "crazed" or "pre-occupied" and took up too much of the servers, waitresses, cooks time? I just felt like they were stupid and usually they were skinny and healthy looking anyway, so why were they worried about what they ate? I could not see that that was exactly WHY they looked and felt the way they did~!~ they were CONSCIOUS!! I was UNCONSCIOUS!! TIME TO WAKE UP LAURA!!

I have to make me better and I WANT to feel better and comfortable in my skin. I have to be strong because I WANT TO BE STRONG!! Thank you so much for your continued support here. This is not a part time life, this is real time, right now! Love to you all.

hubkal

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