My husband is trying to gain weight and I'm trying to loose

Gorussell

Hello, I have been reading the messages boards for a couple of days and everyone is sooo supportive I thought I could do this alone but I can't. I live with a family of skinny people my husband and three children my husband is a welder and we live in the south there I no air conditioning at his job so it's hard for him to gain weight especially during the summer. My issue is that I am cooking all the time as I am a stay at home mom. I cook huge meals for my family and it is very hard for me to eat a very small portion or eat something completely different. Does anyone else have any similar issues? I would love to add friends for support. I guess I will go now and make lunch for my family. Oh and the only way I have been able to make it this far is to eat my meal before I cook for my family but that doesn't always work. Thank you in advance for any suggestions and support. I am 5'7 170 lbs down from 205lbs. My hubby is 5'11 175lbs and loves to take us to all you can eat buffets and of course I'm the party pooper that always says "I don't want to go".

Aliduz

Hi there,

I have a small baby and i am staying at home. I do all the shopping and cooking and find it really hard to lose weight. I am 5 ft 8 and weigh 214 pounds. My husband is 5ft 7 and weighs under 10 stone. He cant understand why I cant lose weight as he never gains weight! So I understand how you feel

From Ali

Gorussell

OMG. Thank you someone that understands:)

mom2fabfive

I, too, am married to Mr. Skinny! He hasn't gained more than 5 pounds in the past 17 years we have been together. (married 14.5 years) I have had 5 children and watched my weight go from 105 lbs. when met him to topping out at 162 just a few weeks ago. He can eat anything he wants and not gain a thing. Frustrating for me! I am a SAHM. So much of my time has been spent taking care of everyone else and not taking care of me. I started MFP 2.5 weeks ago because I needed something to help me monitor how much I was eating and how little I was moving. I had dropped 4 lbs. before joining and have lost 4 more. Add me if you would like. We can all use some extra support.

Gorussell

Wow you feel my pain. We have been together 17 years 9married. My husband can literally eat ANYTHING too. I'm sending a friend request. Thank you

Gorussell

I'm sending a friend request.

honestlysweet

I am not a stay at home mom, but I have two men, my skinny husband and adult son. I cook for them on weekends and sometimes during the week. Funny, but the longer you are on a healthy kick, the cravings for their fatty food isn't as strong. This morning, I made a half package of bacon, sausage, omelet fried in the bacon sausage grease and muffins. I didn't take one bite. I served it up and went back into the kitchen and made my protein shake with banana, peanut butter, apple butter, skim milk and whey protein.

The key is to force yourself for one week to NOT eat what they eat-not even a nibble. It will get easier to do if you get past this first week. But, you obviously have done something right, since you already lost a lot of weight. Good for you!

MinaAriel

I totally get what you are going through. I don't make separate meals but I do make a bit extra for hubby to eat. He is on MFP trying to gain and I'm losing. I still want to make healthy food because even if he needs to eat more calories, they don't need to be high fat, cholesterol, processed calories. So, I make chicken breasts, he gets two. When I make enchiladas, mine has spinach and chicken and a controlled amount of cheese. Hubby's will have extra meat and cheese. I also make protein bars at home. He will take one to work with him, I will occassionally have half of one. DH gets a lot of extra calories with protein smoothies. If I feel like a smoothie, I add water and ice instead of juice, use half the protein powder, and half the yogurt. Hubby has gotten used to the turkey chili and lower fat macaroni and cheese. I have also learned that I have certain trigger foods like rolls and garlic bread and anything with chocolate, so I don't make those at home. If DH wants them, he can order them at a restaurant. Good luck!

pat6250

I feel ya! My husband is diabetic, with high blood pressure. I cook to keep him healthy, which is actually good for me, too. However, lately he has been losing weight, and I don't want him to lose too much. I already took him shopping for pants that had to be tailored to not droop where his butt used to be. I should have that problem!!! Anyway, I cook food that is healthy for both of us, and I just give him bigger portions than I eat. He likes to eat, he just gets busy and skips meals if I don't set it out for him. This is not good for his blood sugar! I always ate less than him, but was still way too heavy, so MFP is a godsend for me. It keeps me honest about my portions. Just because hubby can have whatever he wants, doesn't mean that I can! I had to make peace with that. It isn't fair, but that is what it IS!

My daughter is gluten intolerant, dairy intolerant, must avoid soy and a few other things that are very common. So, good thing that I like to cook from scratch. Taking everyone's needs into account is quite a task, but I do it because I love everyone, and want them to be healthy. For them, it is what foods they can eat. For me, it is how much. MFP is training me to judge portions more honestly than I did in the past. There might be a lot of great food around here, but I don't have to eat it all! And, I am learning to cook amounts we will eat, without so much extra. If someone wants more of a main dish, I know they have had plenty, and I don't feel bad offering them fruit or cookies and milk. I hope this helps you. They will adjust to not having unlimited amounts of food around if you cook closer to what you all actually need.

Laoch_Cailin

I totally get what you are going through. I don't make separate meals but I do make a bit extra for hubby to eat. He is on MFP trying to gain and I'm losing. I still want to make healthy food because even if he needs to eat more calories, they don't need to be high fat, cholesterol, processed calories. So, I make chicken breasts, he gets two. When I make enchiladas, mine has spinach and chicken and a controlled amount of cheese. Hubby's will have extra meat and cheese. I also make protein bars at home. He will take one to work with him, I will occassionally have half of one. DH gets a lot of extra calories with protein smoothies. If I feel like a smoothie, I add water and ice instead of juice, use half the protein powder, and half the yogurt. Hubby has gotten used to the turkey chili and lower fat macaroni and cheese. I have also learned that I have certain trigger foods like rolls and garlic bread and anything with chocolate, so I don't make those at home. If DH wants them, he can order them at a restaurant. Good luck!

This

I've 2 kids (4yr old and 1yr old) and the hubby, I'm a SAHM, I do all the cooking (and everything else). I don't cook anything seperate for anyone else, whatever I make for me they eat, but like the above poster I add extra to their plates, or substitute part of the meal they have with something a little lower cals for me. For example if they are having toasted sandwiches I'll use lighter cheese for me, a little less of it and just add an apple or something after to fill me up. Good luck on your journey and congrates on how well you are doing so far. Feel free to add me if you like xx

Lissakaye81

When I started cooking healthy my fiance lost like 15lbs I think, he started getting worried cause he wants to maintain at 163. I cook everything for us. I will try to add more calories to his, while adding more filler to mine. For example I made a cheese and broccoli soup the other day. To his I added ham and cheese, to mine I cut it with low sodium chicken broth and added more broccoli. I ll make like a skillet and I'll add extra meat and potatoes to his, then put on like cheese and sour cream. If I am making mexican I do like turkey meat with kidney beans and onions n peppers, I'll put his on a tortilla and mine on a bed of romaine. So its just adding in little calories and carbs for him and cutting them for me. Just little tweaks here and there really add up.

kasafrass

I'm not married with kids, but I do have a similar problem. My naturally skinny boyfriend is also trying to gain weight as I lose it. It can be such a struggle, but I know what you're going through and that's why MFP is so great - such a motivational community! Stay strong and feel free to add me for extra support

Gorussell

You are right, because your shake sounded alot better than the bacon and omelets:)

Gorussell

Wow I like your style, I am trying to cut down on food high in fat and salt for my family also.

Robin_Bin

Good luck! I don't have much to suggest. I think you're smart to want to stay away from all-you-can-eat places. It's likely you've already thought of them, but you don't have to use the same strategy every time. Some options are to
* not go and eat an especially flavorful but lo-cal thing your husband wouldn't want
* go, but some all-you-can-eat places will have a buffet, but also a menu. If you can go to one of those, order off the menu. Don't go to the buffet at all.
* go, but treat the buffet as a one-time thing. Go once, select a reasonable portion size, focus on the things you should be eating and don't go back up. If you can manage it, this has the advantage of letting you take smaller portions than many restaurants serve.
None of these are perfect. Hope you can find a combination that works for you.

makeitbetter

Hi,

I'm a Mr. Skinny using MFP to gain while my wife is trying to lose. We're making it work. We're both cutting fat, but I'm eating more protein to gain lean muscle. You can make it work too.