Things not to say in a bar.

fatcellsuck

Can I buy your girlfriend a drink?, she looks pretty cheap.

fatcellsuck

Who cut your hair, my brother?

fatcellsuck

Don't worry girls, there's a hot guy here!

fatcellsuck

Alright who's gonna throw the first punch? Form a line 'cause I'm on break.

fatcellsuck

Can you buy me a beer, I don't know how to read.

BIGJIMMYU

The "highballs" are on me!

transfixedtoast

excuse me ma'am you're hidious!

southofmadness

You remind me of my Mom. You are so pretty

luhluhlaura

Does this napkin smell like chloroform?

nheilweil

Don't worry, MFP can help you reduce the size of your butt.

BIGJIMMYU

This scotch is going down smoother than the Titanic! Speaking of which miss.........

secretgirl4611

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

southofmadness

Are you a prostitute? Because I just want to make sure you're not a prostitute

offthedeependay

:noway:

Does this napkin smell like chloroform?

<^^^^>
LIKE^^^

quink77

I know your eyes are up there ... but your boobs are down here!

Tiki1978

"so..do you come here often?"

kristen49233

You're pretty. Do these beer goggles make my eyes look big?

asgard825

"You remind me of my Mom...."

dubw

"You remind me of my Mom...."

"You remind me of my Ex. "

dinosnopro

the drunker I get the better you look

asgard825

"Tell ur >BLANK< to stop staring at my eyes"