My stepdad is hurting not helping /venting
ChihakuZeal
Posts: 65
He was heading out to get something to eat and since I was low on calories, I asked him to get me 2 grilled snack wraps at McDonald's. (He said he was going there and since I liked them I thought it would be ok to have them) He says alright, but when he gets home he brings in Sausage and Pepperoni pizza from Little Caesar's... He always does this to me when I want something... There was nothing else in the house to make something good, and I had no choice but to eat it since I only had about 450 calories inside me for yesterday. And now this morning was my weight day, and I weighed 208.5lbs. Last week I was 206 and there was no pizza that week... I think it's time to get some support in my family to help me, and not hurt me. I might begin to just make my own dinners despite this problem.
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Replies
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That's rough. Have you tried sitting down with your folks and explaining how important it is to you to not have them feel as if they are hindering you?0
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I have sat down with them and my mom also agrees with me, but my stepdad does not. He has tried a diet before and it did work for a short while, but he always failed when he would get close to his goal and gain back the weight. He is the heaviest in the house and I think his mind is saying he may as well not try to lose weight anymore. Sadly, I think he is trying to bring everyone down too.0
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One pizza would not have made you gain that much weight. it take 3500 calories to gain one pound. The pizza was probably high in sodium and you are retaining water. So don't worry to much about the gain as it is most likely water.
But about your step dad, you need to talk to him. He is hurting your feelings and you need to let him know.0 -
Yeah you should try and sit down with your mum as well, but don't attack him about it. Don't get all zesty on his *kitten* just yet, as this will just put him in the corner and he will be all defensive probably. Maybe even suggest that you guys work out together, share a diet plan if you can manange to convince him.0
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Check this out,
Maybe he need to get a account and you need to print out some reports from your own account. Show him you are serious and this is a life style change. As for the pizza you can always work it off. Like the young lady said ealrier in your post it is most likely water weight.
Stick it in there.0 -
He always does this to me when I want something... There was nothing else in the house to make something good, and I had no choice but to eat it since I only had about 450 calories inside me for yesterday. And now this morning was my weight day, and I weighed 208.5lbs. Last week I was 206 and there was no pizza that week...
First things first - if he is always doing this to you - then BOTH you and your mother need to sit down with him.
Secondly - you always have a choice. Was there nothing in the house because you didnt want to cook anything? Was it time to go grocery shopping? You cant use the excuse that the pizza was the only thing you could eat. I dont know if you have your driver's license ( I see from your profile youre 18), but if you do, you could always go out and grab some groceries to make a healthy meal that was within the calories left for the day. You could go get a good workout in to earn some calories back to have a decent meal.... you could always get more exercise to accomodate the fact you ate the pizza.
If you are 2.5lbs more, its because of the salt of the pizza (you had sausage and pepperoni, the pizza sauce, salt in the pizza dough). Your bloated from the food and the fact you still have the food in your system until the next day you go to the bathroom. You didnt gain weight at all.
Yes - your stepfather is being a jerk IMHO... but you need to hold yourself accountable for putting anything and everything in your mouth.
Good luck with the discussion with your stepfather - he better get his act straightened out.0 -
I know this might sound terrible, but when I go grocery shopping I buy some stuff that only I can eat. Hubby and Son don't really care what is on the menu, but I will buy myself some things that (A) I know they won't like so (B) they won't eat it. OR if it might be something they would eat, I hide it from them. You might want to find a meal or some certain food that you can use to fall back on, in case this happens again. Even if it means some high protein bars, and maybe some fruit cups that you could put in a small container and keep in your closet, or some place that it won't be found. Something in an emergency, not as a regular meal.
With that said, I would DEFINITELY sit down with your family and explain to them just how important it is to you and your health and well-being to keep on the positive side of your journey. If you tell them, and they still try to sabotage you....move in with me! I'll show you all the good hiding places!!
GOOD LUCK, BE POSITIVE, STAY POSITIVE, and STICK WITH IT! :drinker:0 -
He was heading out to get something to eat and since I was low on calories, I asked him to get me 2 grilled snack wraps at McDonald's. (He said he was going there and since I liked them I thought it would be ok to have them) He says alright, but when he gets home he brings in Sausage and Pepperoni pizza from Little Caesar's... He always does this to me when I want something... There was nothing else in the house to make something good, and I had no choice but to eat it since I only had about 450 calories inside me for yesterday. And now this morning was my weight day, and I weighed 208.5lbs. Last week I was 206 and there was no pizza that week... I think it's time to get some support in my family to help me, and not hurt me. I might begin to just make my own dinners despite this problem.
Stop blaming other people for what you are eating.
I just looked at your diary and you eat so much junk food, what your stepfather brought you that day is the least of your worries.
Start having some real food instead of junk. So many hotdogs, biscuits, pizza, cupcakes, crisps, potato chips... the list is endless!!
Take control, cut out all the junk and the weight will literally fall off you and you will not be hungry either, not after eating so many empty calories.
Do not ask people to buy you takeaways, that way they cannot tempt you.
Seriously, that one thing he bought you did not make you gain weight, what made you gain weight is the accumulation of the rest of the stuff in your diary.
Fast food seems appealing because it takes no effort to prepare it, you buy it and go and then eat it - no effort to prepare, no effort to eat it and to top it off, there is no effort to pile the weight on because that is what junk food does, it piles on weight.
If you are really serious about losing weight, you are going to have to make changes and those changes will entail cutting out fastfood, cutting out takeaways and start consuming some food that is good for you and not just convenient
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I honestly do not have a choice because there was almost literally nothing but some chili powder, green onions, and a soda, and I didn't touch any of them. I cannot go get groceries because I do not have a license just yet. I did workout very well that day so basically you could be right, it could just be the bloated feeling, but I might just have some kind of fear of gaining weight easily. I honestly don't think it's anorexia though because I eat quite a bit of food.He always does this to me when I want something... There was nothing else in the house to make something good, and I had no choice but to eat it since I only had about 450 calories inside me for yesterday. And now this morning was my weight day, and I weighed 208.5lbs. Last week I was 206 and there was no pizza that week...
First things first - if he is always doing this to you - then BOTH you and your mother need to sit down with him.
Secondly - you always have a choice. Was there nothing in the house because you didnt want to cook anything? Was it time to go grocery shopping? You cant use the excuse that the pizza was the only thing you could eat. I dont know if you have your driver's license ( I see from your profile youre 18), but if you do, you could always go out and grab some groceries to make a healthy meal that was within the calories left for the day. You could go get a good workout in to earn some calories back to have a decent meal.... you could always get more exercise to accomodate the fact you ate the pizza.
If you are 2.5lbs more, its because of the salt of the pizza (you had sausage and pepperoni, the pizza sauce, salt in the pizza dough). Your bloated from the food and the fact you still have the food in your system until the next day you go to the bathroom. You didnt gain weight at all.
Yes - your stepfather is being a jerk IMHO... but you need to hold yourself accountable for putting anything and everything in your mouth.
Good luck with the discussion with your stepfather - he better get his act straightened out.0 -
Actually I am serious about the weight loss thank you. I have actually cut back because I would normally have eaten double that amount if it wasn't for this site and the friends I have on here that help me. Have you ever heard of cutting back in small steps before, and then get off of it?He was heading out to get something to eat and since I was low on calories, I asked him to get me 2 grilled snack wraps at McDonald's. (He said he was going there and since I liked them I thought it would be ok to have them) He says alright, but when he gets home he brings in Sausage and Pepperoni pizza from Little Caesar's... He always does this to me when I want something... There was nothing else in the house to make something good, and I had no choice but to eat it since I only had about 450 calories inside me for yesterday. And now this morning was my weight day, and I weighed 208.5lbs. Last week I was 206 and there was no pizza that week... I think it's time to get some support in my family to help me, and not hurt me. I might begin to just make my own dinners despite this problem.
Stop blaming other people for what you are eating.
I just looked at your diary and you eat so much junk food, what your stepfather brought you that day is the least of your worries.
Start having some real food instead of junk. So many hotdogs, biscuits, pizza, cupcakes, crisps, potato chips... the list is endless!!
Take control, cut out all the junk and the weight will literally fall off you and you will not be hungry either, not after eating so many empty calories.
Do not ask people to buy you takeaways, that way they cannot tempt you.
Seriously, that one thing he bought you did not make you gain weight, what made you gain weight is the accumulation of the rest of the stuff in your diary.
Fast food seems appealing because it takes no effort to prepare it, you buy it and go and then eat it - no effort to prepare, no effort to eat it and to top it off, there is no effort to pile the weight on because that is what junk food does, it piles on weight.
If you are really serious about losing weight, you are going to have to make changes and those changes will entail cutting out fastfood, cutting out takeaways and start consuming some food that is good for you and not just convenient0 -
The pizza didn't make you gain weight. I had six pieces last night and had a loss this morning.0
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That might be because of your metabolism. Also, it depends on what kind of pizza you had as well.The pizza didn't make you gain weight. I had six pieces last night and had a loss this morning.0 -
I had the same problem for years with my family. You have hit on the solution. Since you are the only person you can change, quietly make your own dinner. Maybe they will eventually get on board--maybe not. My experience was that they pretended to understand and then sabotaged at every turn so I had to move beyond asking for help. I hope you get a better result! Even if not, YOU can do this. Keep logging in 'cause We are all here to support you. Good luck!0
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That might be because of your metabolism. Also, it depends on what kind of pizza you had as well.The pizza didn't make you gain weight. I had six pieces last night and had a loss this morning.
I had six pieces of bacon mushroom pizza from Dominos. I am 36 with 2 children and have had an abdominal surgery. I guarantee at the age of 18, your metabolism kicks my metabolism's *kitten*. With the food you are eating, and the activity you are logging, you must be starving most of the time. Even if you just started adding some fruits and vegetables without making any other changes, you would start feeling better, have more energy, and 2.5 pieces of pizza wouldn't cause you to gain 2 pounds. If you want to lose the weight, you have to take control and you have to make the decisions. Did your stepdad make you eat pizza for breakfast this morning too?0 -
I would have taken the sausage and pepperoni off one slice of pizza and blotted it with a napkin or paper towel to remove any extra grease and just eaten that. Ideally, a large garden side salad with olive oil & lemon would have gone well with one plain slice of pizza. I lost my weight when I was your age and it was difficult, I didn't drive and didn't have a job so I relied on other people. Just don't give up! I lost all my weight by age 18 and have kept it off, I'm 32 now and still fit & healthy.0
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That might be because of your metabolism. Also, it depends on what kind of pizza you had as well.The pizza didn't make you gain weight. I had six pieces last night and had a loss this morning.
You didn't gain weight you are retaining water. Don't worry about, drink lots of water. My mom always told me when I said I don't like that stuff in the house "You're the one counting calories, not us." Which essentially meant I'm responsible for me. Just because I'm counting calories doesn't mean I make others change.
I understand having nothing else to eat, but modify =] take off the meat or only eat half the cheese.
Today is a new day =] chose to be successful0 -
Ever think that the donuts and corn pops you ate might have caused the weight gain?0
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Wow, your food diary is horrible. Pizza and donuts for breakfast??? What is that?
You are 18, time to take control of your own life and not depend on your parents.
Tell them to start bringing in healthy foods for you to make or go buy your own groceries.
You will never lose the weight you want to eating any of that garbage. I know you said you where cutting back but that junk needs to go now not cut back.0 -
What it comes down to is taking responsiblity for yourself and your actions. You are the one who is trying to lose weight - as unfortunate as it is, we cannot force everyone around us to lose weight with us, so as they continue to eat unhealthy foods, we must make the decision to eat well for ourselves.
You can't keep blaming others for your weight gain. You didn't have to eat the pizza - and if it actually was the absolute only thing to eat, and you couldn't go to the grocery store on your own, and there was no other options, you could eat one or two pieces, which wouldn't be so bad.
You obviously aren't going to convince your step father to be supportive, so don't ask him to pick you up food anymore. It's not a good idea to eat fast food anyways. Even if it's the "healthier" option on the fast food menu, it's still processed and laden with unhealthy ingredients that aren't going to be beneficial to your weight loss or health in the long run anyways.0 -
Actually I am serious about the weight loss thank you. I have actually cut back because I would normally have eaten double that amount if it wasn't for this site and the friends I have on here that help me. Have you ever heard of cutting back in small steps before, and then get off of it?He was heading out to get something to eat and since I was low on calories, I asked him to get me 2 grilled snack wraps at McDonald's. (He said he was going there and since I liked them I thought it would be ok to have them) He says alright, but when he gets home he brings in Sausage and Pepperoni pizza from Little Caesar's... He always does this to me when I want something... There was nothing else in the house to make something good, and I had no choice but to eat it since I only had about 450 calories inside me for yesterday. And now this morning was my weight day, and I weighed 208.5lbs. Last week I was 206 and there was no pizza that week... I think it's time to get some support in my family to help me, and not hurt me. I might begin to just make my own dinners despite this problem.
Stop blaming other people for what you are eating.
I just looked at your diary and you eat so much junk food, what your stepfather brought you that day is the least of your worries.
Start having some real food instead of junk. So many hotdogs, biscuits, pizza, cupcakes, crisps, potato chips... the list is endless!!
Take control, cut out all the junk and the weight will literally fall off you and you will not be hungry either, not after eating so many empty calories.
Do not ask people to buy you takeaways, that way they cannot tempt you.
Seriously, that one thing he bought you did not make you gain weight, what made you gain weight is the accumulation of the rest of the stuff in your diary.
Fast food seems appealing because it takes no effort to prepare it, you buy it and go and then eat it - no effort to prepare, no effort to eat it and to top it off, there is no effort to pile the weight on because that is what junk food does, it piles on weight.
If you are really serious about losing weight, you are going to have to make changes and those changes will entail cutting out fastfood, cutting out takeaways and start consuming some food that is good for you and not just convenient
I think the point that is being made is to stop eating so much of the processed and "fast" foods. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich made on whole wheat bread is far better for you (not to mention more satisfying) than a package of pop tarts. And its still portable to take to school.
You are right it IS about making small changes but there are a lot of days where you are eating these types of foods at every meal. Start with one meal at a time; breakfast for example, and eliminate the quick foods...make some oatmeal or over the weekend make some low-fat muffins that will last through the week.
As much as you don't want to admit it, the PP is right...you can't blame other people for what you are eating. And if it is such a continual problem, why not go with him so you can ensure you're getting what you ordered.0 -
It's not much fun when you find your parents are directly ignoring and even contradicting your efforts; it seems that you are in a no win situation with him so stop worrying about it. My trainer suggests that one day a week I allow myself more than on other days and that way if I overload on one day then I can get back to normal and not feel too guilty.
I notice that your family seems to be eating a lot of junk food, perhaps you could ask your Mom to get some more healthy stuff like fresh vegetables and cottage cheese. You also seem to be very carb heavy, which means that the volume that you are eating will be less than if you were filling up on raw carrots, tomatoes, etc... Just suggesting! I guess at you age you could start making responsible decisions for what you eat and also who cooks it, perhaps there is a cooking class near you which concentrates on dietary requirements as well as the basic cooking skills - it's a great and creative way to enjoy food at the same time as keeping control over what you eat.
Hope that you have success, it takes time to change your diet and half of the battle is changing the sort of foodstuffs you eat. It is no joke that people say 'you are what you eat'. :flowerforyou:0 -
Some people fear others success! It is time that you take control of your life and do not let the actions of others influence how your actions. Your health is your responsibility. Next time he brings pizza home and you feel that this is all there is to eat....pick off those nasty sausages and pepperoni and eat just one piece of cheese pizza but do not eat all the crust. Always keep fruit in the house; if necessary keep a bowl in your room. Always keep protein bars in your purse or workout bag. Today start cleaning up your eating habits...I did not check your food log but today choose to clean up your snacks. Once you've got that under control try cleaning up your breakfast. Not saying that I eat perfectly but feel free to checkout my food log anytime. Keep in mind I am a work in progress or I wouldn't be here. I have lost 70 pounds in 2 years and I have a long way to go. :blushing:0
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Think of it more of eating healthier, not being on a diet. Everyone thinks of a diet in a negative way. Explain to them that you want to eat healthier because that is what our bodies need to fuel themselves. Any time "diet" is used, many people think of it negatively. This is a lifestyle change not a short term thing like a diet sounds like.0
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I have also looked at your diary and you are not eating enough real food. If you can reduce the amount of processed food you eat and replace it with some real food made with real ingredients, you can actually eat a much greater quantity of food with a lot fewer calories/fat/sodium.
By no means am I an expert, but try adding fruits, vegetables, and lean protein every day. You will feel better, look better, and probably lose some weight, too.0 -
That can be a bit frustrating, but I really don't think he is doing it to hurt you. I think he probably thought "well..McDonalds is just as bad as little Caesars....and you get more bang for your buck..WHY NOT?" Yup. Also, I checked out your food diary, it is not looking too great. Pizza for breakfast and corn pops will not get you to where you wish to be. But hey....good job so far..and just keep your goal in mind.0
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Agreed with the others, and as someone living from home eating my parents food (oi.) Why not go shopping with them, and grab a few things just for you? I grabbed a nice low cal and high vitamin and fiber cereal, it's called Malt-O-Meal with honey. it tastes just like frosted flakes, but it gives me sooo many nutrients. I measure out a full cup, and a half cup of skim milk, and it's wonderful. I also get granola bars to have as snacks, and I get "chips" made out of air popped popcorn for when I get that urge to indulge So even indulging becomes less bad. Also, I looked at your diary... you NEED to be eating more calories!! I meet my goal every day, at least, even after a ton of exercise. I will force myself to eat more even if I dont feel like it, lol. Or ill have a glass of milk to up the calories. Also, make sure you drink plenty of water! the fluctuation is probably from water weight 0
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Actually I am serious about the weight loss thank you. I have actually cut back because I would normally have eaten double that amount if it wasn't for this site and the friends I have on here that help me. Have you ever heard of cutting back in small steps before, and then get off of it?
For drugs, yes. For smoking, yes. For Alcohol, yes. For artery clogging grease? No. Especially if you're young enough to still be living at home with no driving license.
Not to be mean, but allowing yourself to keep going with junk food is not the best way to go about things. One greasy meal a day causes the body to "crave" the grease. Cold turkey that stuff for a week or two, replace the "greasy" craving with nuts, and see how much you'll drop. And how much better you'll feel.
Sorry, no sympathy. I was an alcoholic, and a smoker along with emotional eating, and had all my favourite excuses. Including this one.
Walk to the store. Go shopping with mom and buy your own healthy stuff. Hit up Subway instead of burgers and pizza.
It's hard, when someone is underminding you. Is really is, and I feel for you. My hubs does close to the same thing. Difference? He can have the bag of chips, and I'll have my Kale chips. It's MY mouth. He can't FORCE me to eat unhealthy. There is *always* another option.
Junk food as a "treat" is fine, once in a while. Not on a daily "lifestyle change".0 -
Did you eat 2lbs of pizza? I don't mean to sound rude, but don't put a less that stellar week on someone else. Own it and move along. 2 pounds is not that big of a deal.0
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Just a quick comparison between your choice and what you actually ate:
1 slice medium sausage & pepperoni LC pizza = 248 calories
1 grilled chicken snack wrap with no sauce from MD = 230 calories
Now granted there is a LITTLE more veggies in the grilled snack wrap, but I think you're kidding yourself here. The pizza has more sodium, but not that many more calories. They are equally bad from a calorie count perspective.....Time to start taking a little more responsibility for your choices.0 -
Wow - people are being rather unforgiving here. Yes - diet needs improvement - I'm sure she's heard the message. At 18, I had no bank account and I didn't have my own car. Going to the grocery to go shopping for family food was not a feasible option for me. Step back and remember what it was like to be living with your parents. It's very sad if this was the only thing in the house though - not even a can of tuna for a sandwich? some cheese and vegetables? Even cheerios would be a welcome change. I do have to agree with other posters about getting mom on your side as well. Who does the shopping? If it's mom, you should make and effort to go with her and find some easy meal alternatives to stock up around the house. Read the labels on what goes into the cart and try to find less calorie-rich alternatives. Try adding some sort of fresh or frozen veggie at every meal (canned stuff is loaded with sodium as well) - limit the starches and pre-prepared foods.This sounds like a situation where the whole family doesn't know how to eat and buying inexpensive fast food is a regular occurrence. I'm 5'8 and weigh 142 and I myself have gained 4-5 pounds from one day to the next just from sodium, esp when I am close to my period. I am extremely sensitive to the stuff. That being said, your processed food and fast food diet is loaded with the stuff. Until you get off that kind of food, it's going to be very difficult for you to track losses with any regularity. Also, drink more water - it takes me 2 days of drinking 3+ L a day to flush water weight out for me.0
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