Creepster at work

Lizabee84
Lizabee84 Posts: 346 Member
in Motivation and Support
Sorry I just need to vent before I throw something at this creepy guy at work. I have only worked here for 2 months and since day one this creepy guy has to visit my office everyday, Well today he is up to 6- 20 plus minute visits. Now i may be to nice but saying I am busy is not working. I tried talking on the phone when he comes but it just ties up the phones lines for more important calls. He not only asked me to go eat out with him...which he knows I am married. He brought me coffee the way he likes it so I can try it his way. Lets take it it back #7 while I am typing it he is here aggravating the hell out of me. I dont know what to do anymore. If you spend 2 hours out of a 8 hour shift up here that is bad
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Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,314 Member
    HR. Now. That is wrong on so many levels. Talk to his Superior. Flat out tell him to stop coming in your office.
  • Lizabee84
    Lizabee84 Posts: 346 Member
    HR is involved and they have witnessed it. I tried talking to his boss but that is like talking to a wall.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,314 Member
    He'll be gone soon. Don't walk out alone, ever.
  • samf36
    samf36 Posts: 369 Member
    Good grief!! I would make hr do something now!! You also need an escort to and from your car.
  • Lizabee84
    Lizabee84 Posts: 346 Member
    Luckily i walk out with other ladies and park i a spot that I can see clearly from my office window and door. I get there before him and leave after him. I just dont see why he cant leave me alone. I did nothing to bring this on myself (never flirted or asked personal questions).
  • elguapo911
    elguapo911 Posts: 33
    Some guys (and girls) don't pick up on hints because they are either too stupid of full of themselves. Judging by him forcing his coffee on you im thinking both. Best to be very direct and say look I just started here and if my boss sees you here all the time I'm gonna get in trouble. Im happily married and I'm not interested.

    Do they do background checks there? He's prob harmless but If he doesn't get it or you feel threatened talk to your boss or hr right away.
  • kevinwk
    kevinwk Posts: 77
    Elgaupo is on the mark. You just need to be brutally honest and let him know that you are finding it uncomfortable with him showing up so often. You need to keep your life at work as at work and that he is starting to hinder your work (whether or not that this the case or not). Make sure he understands and let him know that if he continues that you will need to escalate this matter.
  • Lizabee84
    Lizabee84 Posts: 346 Member
    Thanks ya'll i will try the suggested method. Hopefully he can stop
  • Sl1ghtly
    Sl1ghtly Posts: 855 Member
    "*kitten* off!" It works for me.
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
    Keep bugging HR- lots of time their hands are tied as they have to go through "process". If you have an Ombudsman, speak to that person. Let your co-workers know of your discomfort so they keep an eye out as well. He sounds scary.
  • GroupXZ
    GroupXZ Posts: 196 Member
    "*kitten* off!" It works for me.

    lol... ?Made me laugh for some odd reason. Do you have any pepper spray? if so, use it! I bet he will understand afterwards.
  • sweet110
    sweet110 Posts: 332 Member
    Direct is best. It may be unpleasant....but its unpleasant *anyway*. Can it really get much worse? You don't have to be rude, but be direct. And firm. "I've got work I need to do. Please leave. Now." And no smiling. No engaging. No nodding along while he talks. [we women like to deliver info with a smile...which can seem like a mixed signal to the socially dense].

    Just say what you have to say and then either stare at him until he leaves, or ignore him.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    I've had that happen and I just flat out ask "What you want?" If they start BS'ing around, tell them "I'm kinda busy and dont really have time to chit-chat, so tell me what you want and lets move along". Be firm, let him know that you're not messing around.

    On a safety level, keep a pepper spray with you at all times.
  • Shellitz
    Shellitz Posts: 188
    Oh wow that is creeeepy. Are you able to shut the door and if he comes in just say - "sorry I'm on a really tight deadline I need peace and quiet"? If not absolutely tell HR again and again until something is done.

    I had a guy at work who was creepy towards me, used to email me all the time and ask what i was doing - ALL THE TIME. Once I was coming back from lunch and me sprinted for the elevator to get in the same one as me, then asked me what i was having for lunch and if he could see it?????? And then he tried to follow me home after our xmas party, ended up calling some other guys to come and distract him while I got in a cab. Thankfully he was made redundant not long after that and I blocked him off all social media so that he couldn't add me on anything.

    Creepiest thing - he worked in the HR department for a while.....
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    Bear mace is better than pepper spray. You can get it at a sporting goods store.
  • DiannaMoorer
    DiannaMoorer Posts: 783 Member
    Direct is best. It may be unpleasant....but its unpleasant *anyway*. Can it really get much worse? You don't have to be rude, but be direct. And firm. "I've got work I need to do. Please leave. Now." And no smiling. No engaging. No nodding along while he talks. [we women like to deliver info with a smile...which can seem like a mixed signal to the socially dense].

    Just say what you have to say and then either stare at him until he leaves, or ignore him.


    I like this advise!!!!
  • polarsjewel
    polarsjewel Posts: 1,725 Member
    All of the above - also, start logging when he is in your office, how long he stays, what he says etc. You will want to have this in writing for HR.
  • LaurasClimb
    LaurasClimb Posts: 211 Member
    Yup, gotta agree with the others. You have to be direct. You can't beat around the bush but be direct. Simply, "You spend too much time in my office, I'm sure you have your own work to do and I need to do mine." Or, "I'm not comfortable with you visiting me."
    When you speak to HR, you've got to use the buzz words, "This guy is creating a HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT for me. I have spoken with him and he still comes around, you need to do something now."
  • airlily
    airlily Posts: 212 Member
    All of the above - also, start logging when he is in your office, how long he stays, what he says etc. You will want to have this in writing for HR.

    This is what I did when something similar was happening to me. A log of all the events, AND adding all the times you complained are very, very important. When I told my union rep, she told me to make sure I don't downplay how it makes me feel when the case goes higher up. I didn't know what she meant, so she explained "don't say 'it bothers me when...' Say 'It frightens me when...' or 'I'm scared to....' etc."

    I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope it works out. Don't give up!
  • farmboyphotography
    farmboyphotography Posts: 181 Member
    From my experiences with personnel management and from my training:

    Tell this guy one time that he is making you uncomfortable and report the conversation to your Human Resources rep. If you arent comfortable telling him yourself, you can lean on HR or his supervisor/manager. They have an obligation to do an investigation and/or to act to end this behavior, whether that is this guy's intent or not. This kind of interaction from him is clearly harassment. I would do something sooner rather than later. These things too often escalate. Be careful.

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