wtf...

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bluesrockerman
bluesrockerman Posts: 21 Member
in Motivation and Support
I really hate myself sometimes. i do great all day and they I get home and the wheels fall off. I get mad at something, go to the bar, drink a lot and then eat bad bar food. Crap! I really need to figure out how to not do this....

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  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,366 Member
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    What's the point of hating yourself for it? Think about it. your anger at "something" causes you to go to the bar and binge. Then you continue the cycle by being mad at yourself. So stop the cycle at some point. Instead of going to the bar, prepare your food for tomorrow. Get some seriously awesome recipes from online and buy just one bottle of wine. Work out BEFORE you cook and drink and keep your a** at home. Then you won't be angry with yourself. You know this is all in your head. It always is. You'll figure a way out of it.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 33,956 Member
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    You're so nice, sunkisses :love:
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    A very motivating and supporting friend of mine said that rather than beating yourself up over bad day, use that energy to plan ahead and try and do better tomorrow. We all make mistakes, just try and learn from the mistakes (didnt planned well, didnt ate enough, etc) and move along. Tomorrow is another day, smile and shine :)
  • bluesrockerman
    bluesrockerman Posts: 21 Member
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    Thanks, I guess I just needed someone to talk me down. What you said makes sense.
  • daddiod
    daddiod Posts: 37
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    We have the same issue but only on the weekends. I just get up and start on track again. Its not easy to beat the old habits, But Im working on it. Even at the bar we started to share dishes and drinking water in between drinks.
  • cherryolac
    cherryolac Posts: 34
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    Instead of going to the bar when you are mad try working out or going for a walk....
  • bluesrockerman
    bluesrockerman Posts: 21 Member
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    Damn, happened again. I hate this either or struggle.
  • BlaireV
    BlaireV Posts: 137
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    What's the point of hating yourself for it? Think about it. your anger at "something" causes you to go to the bar and binge. Then you continue the cycle by being mad at yourself. So stop the cycle at some point. Instead of going to the bar, prepare your food for tomorrow. Get some seriously awesome recipes from online and buy just one bottle of wine. Work out BEFORE you cook and drink and keep your a** at home. Then you won't be angry with yourself. You know this is all in your head. It always is. You'll figure a way out of it.

    This is a great response.

    It's all mental (at least it was for me when I went through something similar). I still struggle sometimes but I've identified that binging and getting angry is only going to make me angrier and more upset. You can do this, I promise. Just try to grasp the mental part of it first - the mental part is the hardest part.
  • Kirsty_UK
    Kirsty_UK Posts: 965 Member
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    Is it the alcohol that's the problem? bad day --> feel like you need a drink --> drink --> lose willpower on the food --> eat lots of "bad stuff" ?

    If so, I'd say it's the "bad day --> drink" section that needs the work. You might need to seek help with that somewhere, depending on the exact reasons and issues behind it.
  • squishycow7
    squishycow7 Posts: 820 Member
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    take a nap instead
  • CrazyDaisysMommy
    CrazyDaisysMommy Posts: 472
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    I think the advice everyone has given is very good. Is there something else at the bar that pulls you there? Is that where your support system is? Do you have people who can meet you in a healthier environment to work out or just walk and talk? Next time you feel tempted to go to the bar to deal with your anger, maybe log on here and spend some time on the success stories forum. There is a lot of inspiration on here if you look for it. I wish you the best!
  • bsgkid
    bsgkid Posts: 72 Member
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    Along with my food diary, I use the notes section to document how I'm feeling for the day or when I have food issues. I found out I was eating for everything BUT hunger. I ate when I was angry, stressed, depressed, lonely, bored, etc. Food was always there with no judgment, and it was easy to let the "wheels fall off" so I know to some degree what you are going through.

    This keeps happening to you because you are getting something out of the repeated behavior. If you can figure out what that is, then you can substitute something healthier in its place. If it is companionship of folks at the bar, then go hang out with a friend and do something else (dancing, bowling, something active, etc.). If it's relieving stress or anger, then take up boxing/martial arts or go to a gun range and blow the crap out of a paper target. Until you get to the root of what you're getting out of the bar scene, it's going to continue to be a struggle and a stumbling block.

    I wish you well on your investigation. It would be great if you have a good report to post in the coming days. :flowerforyou:
  • AmeChops
    AmeChops Posts: 744 Member
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    Maybe you could set yourself small goals...like "I won't go to the bar and drink and eat cr4p for a week" - make it like a challenge?!
  • trijoe
    trijoe Posts: 729 Member
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    OP: You seem to have a lot of "hate" in you. Personally, I think you should try "hate"-ing less. Maybe it's just a word? I don't think so. See if you can eliminate the word "hate" from your discourse. You just might find your world to be less difficult. Or at least less toxic.

    Past that, you've mentioned your bad days, now tell us about your good days. If you're going to point out the bad, try pointing out the good, also. Falling shows you're human. Getting up, brushing yourself off, and going on shows you're strong, and improving.

    My two cents.
  • bluesrockerman
    bluesrockerman Posts: 21 Member
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    I do have some good days where I eat right, do my walks and log my food intake. I just find it's more enjoyable to bs with friends at the bar and have some drinks rather than get irritated at home with teenagers. I know that sounds bad, but I don't do it all the time. Stressful home life vs friendly environment. I do most of the cooking and I'll have a nice dinner planned, all of the food bought and usually plans change and no one is there to eat it if I cook it. Why bother?

    I appreciate the replies. I agree it's a mental challenge and I need to just get it together.
  • sweettthings
    sweettthings Posts: 157 Member
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    Cook the meal anyway, enjoy the peace and quiet, and let them deal with eating leftovers whenever they show up.

    What is that saying about not being able to change some situations, only being able to change how you feel about them?
  • trijoe
    trijoe Posts: 729 Member
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    Why bother?

    Because it's your family. Because it's your life. Because it's your happiness. And theirs. Because you and they deserve to be "bothered". **** happens. It happens every day. Kids make sure of that. At their core, their little pooping stress causing monkey wrenches. That eat your snacks and drink your beer and belch at the dinner table and blame you for their mistakes. They break things, and throw things, and fight their siblings, over the stupidest things one could imagine. It's what they do. God Bless those irritating little stress balls.

    I highly recommend you do your family and yourself a favor, and take some time to find your peaceful center. It's in there, honest.
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
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    I really hate myself sometimes. i do great all day and they I get home and the wheels fall off. I get mad at something, go to the bar, drink a lot and then eat bad bar food. Crap! I really need to figure out how to not do this....

    Welcome to my world. I used to do this too. One day I realized I was an alcoholic and that is why I was doing it.

    I got help in the rooms of AA, worked the steps now I have ways to deal with thing that bother me, heck, I have even found that I do not get as mad as quick any more because I do not need an excuse to get pissed and go to the bar. :wink:

    If you think this may be true for you and would like some help, please feel free to message me. Thing is, you have to be ready to give up alcohol 100%, if not, then carry on................

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