Looking for strategies to survive birthday (warning- rant al

lonestarlada

So not to sound like a pity party, but my birthday is tomorrow, and already I'm feeling like I want to stuff my face. I have a long and busy day planned for tomorrow, but I'm looking for ideas on how to manage the hours between when my kid goes to bed and I do. I fear I will fall into a deep pit of some ugly emotional overeating.

Short Background/Vent:
- Husband divorced me and lives overseas now. Didn't want to be a dad to our special needs daughter. Needed to go "live his life"...and his family very, very, very rarely helps
- I'm now a single working mom with an often challenging, yet often fabulous kid
- My two closest friends are busy now with babies and live far away. It's tough for any of us to travel these days.
- My family (parents and sister) are no longer speaking to me. My sister has major problems and has been in jail, and has quite the criminal record. She's beaten me, robbed me, stolen and smashed my car, etc. etc. Recently I stopped her from abusing my senior age mother, and then she turned on me, and tried to really hurt me. I called the police. Now my family isn't speaking to me because they're mad I could have had her sent back to jail and they don't want that to happen. So none of my family is speaking to me (incidentally/thankfully I'm adopted - really - and am completely unlike all of them).
- I have a good professional job but now that my *kitten* ex stopped paying child support and my kid's expenses keep increasing, I'm not in a position to pay for a spa day or retail therapy ...
- Other than that, I don't have a lot of friends to do anything with or call on. After high school I worked full time as I went to university, to support said *kitten* while he was in school, hence no time to make friends, and any older friends hit the road when they felt uncomfortable visiting a less-than-perfect baby, and I didn't make friends in mommy/baby groups as I was so wrapped up in surviving single parenthood, working to make $$, and being super-mom, fiercely doing all I had to do for my child...

So with all that being said, what can I do to survive tomorrow? It'll be 20 years tomorrow since my last birthday celebration. Each year, it's an anniversary that reminds me of how much I suck at relationships, and how much I am alone. Consequently each year is an embarrasment of emotional eating. I need to change this pattern. I don't have significant spare funds, and I have to always have the kiddo in tow, and then be home to bed on time. (Bear in mind I have challenges getting out with my kid, who can't be relied upon to function in public, and I don't have a support network of any kind, and no, there's really absolutely nobody I can call on to babysit...nobody wants to babysit a special needs kid...I'm working on that through the Brain Injury Association, but until that works out, I'm stuck).

So right now, I'm thinking, I'll probably cry and drink a bottle of wine and stuff my face after my little one is in bed. Can you help me think of a better option? I'm down 22 lbs and don't want to go off the wagon...I really need to turn my life around and I'm really working hard to shed the tired, haggard and frazzled single-mom look that I've been rocking so much lately, so that maybe someone will return a smile back at me some day, and I can make some friends and meet some people...and losing more weight would really help give me the confidence to do this...

Thanks for the vent/rant/offers of support! Love and Blessings to anyone who reads this! xoxo

IveLanded

Wow..........

You have persevered under a lot of things that would break other women. Do you think someone like you DESERVES to be happy? Will stuffing your face tomorrow take you towards your steps of happiness? If you really loved yourself.......what would you put into your body tomorrow?

I really really really recommend the website thedailylove.com

It's not fitness or weight related specifically, but I can't tell you how much I have realized that successful weight loss only comes when the total package is together......not only do you have to eat right and work out but you have to BELIEVE in it, you have to believe that you deserve happiness.

And, as a single mama myself.......girl, you need to your child support! I know court is a huge PITA but that is your baby's money! And you need it and she DESERVES it too!

Feel free to friend me if you want some more single mom support. Hang in there.

jaireed

First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I know sometimes everything seems to pile up on birthdays. Each one seems more and more important. Birthdays are about celebrating you and your achievements! You've lost 22 pounds! Harray! You made it through a year! You said you were going to do something and you did it! Awesome! Sit down and consider all your accomplishments this birthday instead and simply toast it with a glass of wine and a small slice of cake!

Pollyfleming

First of all. ((Hugs)) I'm a mom and its tough in the best of times! It sounds like you're doing pretty great. You've lost 22 lbs! WOW! That's amazing. I don't have any great ideas. Eat lot of veggies, maybe watch a silly movie instead of the wine. You can do it. Most if all, look for support for yourself. Maybe ask the local hospital if there's a support group for parents of children with special needs.

Happy Birthday!

slkehl

Honestly, I would just have a great time with your kid and then go to bed right after she does. Take some benedryl or tylenol pm if you need to. Also, I used to like having sleepovers with my mom when my dad was on a business trip. We'd get in our pajamas and watch and movie and have popcorn and then sleep in the same bed and talk until we fell asleep. I don't know if you're daughter would be up for that but it would make things less lonely and make you thankful for your little blessing