Negative Comments/Support

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  • 223730
    223730 Posts: 55
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    I feel like a lot of times the negatives stem from jealousy or insecurity. Jealous of will power, jealous of competition, jealous of whatever. Your sister may feel like her place was "the skinny one", and now that you have lost weight, she could feel like you are "taking" that from her. People have weird feelings sometimes! Your co-workers could feel jealous that you choose to eat healthier when they have tried and did not succeed. They may feel like by you bringing your own lunch, your are judging what they eat because they know it's not healthy.

    Just focus on you! It's your acheivement, and even when we hope to celebrate it with those around us, sometimes there are going to be a few who feel resentment or whatever it is. Congrats on your success!
  • JoshuaL86
    JoshuaL86 Posts: 403 Member
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    Haters gonna hate :D
  • callmeBAM
    callmeBAM Posts: 450 Member
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    Take a look at your hand...
    Grab your smartphone...
    Does your middle finger still work??

    :explode:
  • abbigail_r
    abbigail_r Posts: 283 Member
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    Well congrats on that huge loss, youve lost one of my kids in weight :) Sure dont be a meany know it all but let your head get big for a while you should be very proud of your accomplishment!! I am proud of you. :flowerforyou:
  • RahRahRiotSC
    RahRahRiotSC Posts: 29 Member
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    You should be proud of your accomplishment! Way to go!

    Maybe your family and coworkers are just worried about you being healthy and are not phrasing it in the best/most positive way. Perhaps they are jealous? It's not easy to eat well when everyone around you is eating badly or when there are so many unhealthy options.

    As long as you eat a balanced, nutritious diet and feel good then I say more power to you!
  • jjnt007
    jjnt007 Posts: 302 Member
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    I am proud of you not just for losing weight but for holding your temper as she tried to push your buttons. That is a great quality in a man. As I read your post I truly felt sorry for you because words from family members hurt the most but I also laughed out loud because you met one of my private goals. I cannot wait for someone to call me anorexic. Also, for everyone reading my post I am not making fun of the disease, I just would like for someone to think I am to skinny. Keep up the good work.
  • BruteSquad
    BruteSquad Posts: 373 Member
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    Beyond the jealousy aspects.

    People like things to stay the same. If you lose weight and become the awesome person you can be, what else will you change? You have become a wild card and the world is not predictable. You may show up with Yoda and start playing Jedi mind tricks on them.

    The other thing is, they don't want to become the person that everyone says, "at least I'm not as fat as her" about. If someone gets thin, there is a change in the pecking order.

    Family........ you have a perceived role to play. I had to break out of mine early on. And if you try to change that role, all the other actors will fight the extreme change. They want you to be the heavy one, the one with the pretty face, etc.

    Just go on and be awesome. You obviously are.
  • w2bab
    w2bab Posts: 353 Member
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    I got down to 180 lbs. 7 years ago and looked really good, felt really good, and was wearing size 8 jeans for the first time since I was in 4th grade. My older sister insisted I was way too thin. When I told her a month or so ago that I was working to lose weight, she said she hoped I wasn't going to get skinny like before because "you looked like death warmed over". I'm almost 5'8". 180 lbs. is not skinny.

    Last week I told her I had started a C25K program and that hopefully I will be able to run for 30 minutes by summer. Her response was, "but why would you want to?"

    I think the people who know us (especially family) want to keep us they way they are used to seeing us. She's overweight too, but at only 5' 2" she is the "little" one in the family, and I guess she wants to keep it that way.

    We do this for us, not them.
  • SparklesPlenty
    SparklesPlenty Posts: 90 Member
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    I feel your pain. I went through a similar experience. I lost 60 pounds and my mom. Started caking me gaunt, saying I looked older and that I needed to gain weight. Unfortunately I listened to her and forced myself to gain weight. I gained 14 pounds and now I am struggling to lose it again. The worst part is now my mom is giving me dieting tips like "don't eat more than 700 calories a day"

    Just hang in there and believe in yourself. You are doing the right thing and look amazing!
  • megteg
    megteg Posts: 97 Member
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    I also have coworkers that tell me that I don't need to lose and that I am too skinny and yesterday I was told I was anorexic since I don't eat the crap they serve us at work.

    I just got called out in front of my coworkers as to why I wouldn't indulge in "just one slice" of some greasy pizza. I've had trouble controlling portions, and pizza is a "trigger" food for me, but I didn't want to have to say that in front of my coworkers. It felt really embarrassing at the time.

    Just stick to your guns and hopefully they will eventually stop bugging you about it once they realize no pressuring/jokes will get you to waiver. Tell em to deal with it :glasses:
  • jennifer52484
    jennifer52484 Posts: 888 Member
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    I will usually thank them for their concern and tell them I have everything under control. I also say that there is no need to worry about me and my health because I'm the healthiest I've been in a long time.
  • lipglossjunky73
    lipglossjunky73 Posts: 497 Member
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    Can I play devil's advocate here?

    Not everyone is jealous when weight loss occurs. Sometimes there is a line in the sand that gets crossed from looking healthy, and looking obsessed and too skinny.

    I am *NOT* saying that *YOU*, the OP, is at that point, but I think the overgeneralizations that people who say these things are just "haters" is not always the case. I have seen many people go from being heavy and looking awful, to looking amazing, but they keep going to the point where they look too skinny (AND awful). Extremes are NOT healthy - healthy is healthy.... KWIM?

    Maybe I have a different mindset, but people will not always give you the response you want to hear, or the validation you think you deserve. At the end of the day.... who cares? If you are going to rely on other people's compliments and positive words, then at some point you are going to run out of fuel when they stop being given to you.

    I once read an interesting study on how people tend to lose more weight initially because of the continuous feedback they receive - when you are on that weight loss roll and everyone says daily "Wow - did you lose wight?" - so, if you lose 100 lbs over the course of a year, you get 365 days of compliments.

    But.... Let's say you keep that weight off for a year - you hear an occasional comment here and there - usually from someone who hasn't seen you in a while, but that continuous "WOW" factor that fed you for a year is no longer there. THAT is when people start to gain it back!!!!

    I really took that to heart in my journey. It made me realize - I don't want to rely on anyone else - this is about ME. Not them.

    Just my 2 cents!!!

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