Is romance taught/learned or instinct and do all women like
Kristinemomof3
Posts: 636 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm just pondering because my husband is not romantic AT ALL and it drives me crazy. So I'm just wondering if there was something in his youth that could have been done differently. Also, do all women want romance?
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Replies
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Wow, how do I answer this? Not all women like romance; also what is romantic for the moment may change without warning into annoyance (12 years of personal experience). I would explain further by saying my wife would disagree and say that what is romantic to ME is not necessarily romantic for HER. Some people may need a bit of hand-holding leading into the field of romance while others need notes, directions, and a time table.0
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Putting flame suit on...
It has been my observation that despite stereotypes men are as much looking for romance and to be romantic as ladies are.
To go along with that many women are no where near creatures of the heart as generally thought and are very calculating about things when it comes to relationships as far as whether to enter into one or to stay in one.
This is not intended to be an all inclusive statement,is anecdotal and my opinion based on things I have seen.0 -
My wife says I am not romantic at all ever since we got married. But every once in a while I can still charm her when I try. Just to make sure I still got it.0
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Putting flame suit on...
It has been my observation that despite stereotypes men are as much looking for romance and to be romantic as ladies are.
To go along with that many women are no where near creatures of the heart as generally thought and are very calculating about things when it comes to relationships as far as whether to enter into one or to stay in one.
This is not intended to be an all inclusive statement,is anecdotal and my opinion based on things I have seen.
^^^This.
Also...
I am a woman but I am not romantic. I don't want flowers, or chocolate, or jewelry. Don't write me poems. Skip the fancy restaurant and candlelight dinner too.
Let's go do something fun, preferably where we can get dirty and maybe scraped up a bit.
Then let's have some steak and eat it with our bare hands, and tear off bites with our teeth. Who needs utensils?
That's my definition of romance.
My ex was all about the flowers and chocolate. He was a man.0 -
My boyfriend doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. Well, maybe just one.
The only romantic guy I ever dated was also romancing 4 other girls at the same time. I guess my "tough broad" thing attracts guys who don't have softer sides.0 -
I think romance means different things to different people. But it doesn't always have to be flowers, candy, poems and a candlelight dinner...to me that stuff is so played out and uncreative it's not really romantic but to someone else it totally is of course. Maybe your husband is romantic in his own ways?0
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^^^This.
Also...
I am a woman but I am not romantic. I don't want flowers, or chocolate, or jewelry. Don't write me poems. Skip the fancy restaurant and candlelight dinner too.
Let's go do something fun, preferably where we can get dirty and maybe scraped up a bit.
Then let's have some steak and eat it with our bare hands, and tear off bites with our teeth. Who needs utensils?
That's my definition of romance.
My ex was all about the flowers and chocolate. He was a man.
We could quite possibly be cut from the same cloth... I would rather go do something fun, and get dirty, possibly scraped up maybe even some bruises. food should be eaten with hands and not utensils.. and you can skip over the flowers, chocolate and jewelry because thats just not my thing.0 -
What is considered romantic to one, isn't romantic to someone else.
If you want your husband to be what you consider romantic, you need to tell him what you want.0 -
Romance to me is my husband buying us a new video game and sitting down and playing it with me....hah!0
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Romance is definitely taught. A boy grows up and sees his mom go crazy over a man giving her flowers or jewelry. The boy is taught to give presents to those he loves, as a token of his love and affection. Some boys are more naturally socially adept, others are clueless. But then again, not every woman wants the jewelry or flowers.
All women are not romantically inclined, either. :^)0 -
^^^This.
Also...
I am a woman but I am not romantic. I don't want flowers, or chocolate, or jewelry. Don't write me poems. Skip the fancy restaurant and candlelight dinner too.
Let's go do something fun, preferably where we can get dirty and maybe scraped up a bit.
Then let's have some steak and eat it with our bare hands, and tear off bites with our teeth. Who needs utensils?
That's my definition of romance.
My ex was all about the flowers and chocolate. He was a man.
We could quite possibly be cut from the same cloth... I would rather go do something fun, and get dirty, possibly scraped up maybe even some bruises. food should be eaten with hands and not utensils.. and you can skip over the flowers, chocolate and jewelry because thats just not my thing.
Yes me To! Im such a tom boy and my playfullness can get violent but i like it that way To me all those things are such a waste of money lets just wrestle and then cook dinner at home from the pot on the kitchen counter fun and laughter are my romantic0 -
I've been married for 26 years.
My husband is not romantic. He is pretty clueless. He used to say "tell me what you want me to do, and I will do it", and I would get mad cause "if I had to tell him then it wasn't romantic, he was just doing it because I asked him to, not cause he wanted to"
I finally realized, if he's doing it because I asked, then it is romantic...period. He's doing it cause he loves me...period, that's romantic. Funny part is, once I figured that out, stopped complaining because he wasn't romantic, he started trying things all by himself....
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No , it's instinct and NO.0
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NO, it's instinct and NO.0
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I think the desire for romance or to give it is instinct, in that, it's either there or not, it varies widely between individuals. Some people become natural romantics, and some women crave romance without ever having been "taught" that way. Although I do believe upbringing plays a big part too.
I really don't think all women want romance either. I do, but not the cheesy, predictable kind. The little things that are more personal are the best.
I don't ever remember watching my parents be romantic towards each other (they divorced when I was 8) or learning about it anywhere. I don't even recall seeing any friends parents / other adults be romantic towards each other. It's still what I wanted though.0 -
~ Romance : A feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. Someone guided more by ideals than by practical considerations ... a dreamer, an idealist.
I find that a person who has romantic intentions is a person who ignites fire in a relationship. It isn't about objects ... flowers, candy, jewelry or anything fancy ... it's about how they carry themselves, the look in their eyes. A person who oozes with sex appeal and knows how to express there passion through communication and touch.
I completely indulge in a relationship that includes intense emotions ... when you get butterflies at the thought of his touch ... and you smile at just the sound of his voice ... you have " lived " romance.
:blushing:0 -
It's taught.
I don't dig a lot of the things that, stereotypically, I'm supposed to find romantic. Most of the time I want to throw down shots, fish all night, talk *kitten*, laugh, and be left the fck alone later.0 -
My boyfriend doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. Well, maybe just one.
Tee hee.0 -
I just hollered to my husband could he transfer the clothes from the washer to the dryer and put in a load of towels and he said "Sure baby".
Now THAT's romantic!0 -
That's your job and why isn't dinner ready? Now that's a true Bromeo!I just hollered to my husband could he transfer the clothes from the washer to the dryer and put in a load of towels and he said "Sure baby".
Now THAT's romantic!0 -
he is a bad machine. like a "lemon" car.
dump him.0 -
Putting flame suit on...
It has been my observation that despite stereotypes men are as much looking for romance and to be romantic as ladies are.
To go along with that many women are no where near creatures of the heart as generally thought and are very calculating about things when it comes to relationships as far as whether to enter into one or to stay in one.
This is not intended to be an all inclusive statement,is anecdotal and my opinion based on things I have seen.
^^^This.
Also...
I am a woman but I am not romantic. I don't want flowers, or chocolate, or jewelry. Don't write me poems. Skip the fancy restaurant and candlelight dinner too.
Let's go do something fun, preferably where we can get dirty and maybe scraped up a bit.
Then let's have some steak and eat it with our bare hands, and tear off bites with our teeth. Who needs utensils?
That's my definition of romance.
My ex was all about the flowers and chocolate. He was a man.
You just made me tingle!0 -
I think it's a combination of instinct and learned behavior through watching others, books, tv, movies, etc.
I think things like marriage proposals, romantic dinners, rose petals on the bed, roses and chocolate on Valentine's Day, etc. are learned.
While the little things, picking out the perfect gift that she mentioned she would like months earlier (green striped toe socks), a simple text, a pet name, a note or card, warming up your car for you, being there when you don't expect them, sending you a song that reminded them of you, those are more instinct.
To me both types of romance are great and appreciated, but I'd rather have the little things that she does just because she wanted to than the things that are more what is expected from a SO.
I think a lot of women look over the little things wanting the big show of romance, the production, but if you take the time to notice the little things I think you'll realize how romantic your SO really is.0 -
Define romance??? And to what extent? I am a very low maintenance person according to my significant other.
I'm not big on the whole chocolates and flowers all the time.. He got me roses once... But other than that, nothing really.0 -
According to my husband it's learned.
As for your second question...what's romantic is purely subjective. To me, just spending time alone with my husband is romantic. Coming home to him doing laundry or cleaning the bathrooms is romantic. Any housework I don't have to do....is romantic!
Generally, if we go out to a quiet dinner at a fancy resturant alone, I start to feel awkward. I'm more of a Steakhouse or supper club type girl.0 -
I'm a Hopeless romantic. .
Literally. . even when there's NO HOPE!0 -
I think romance is taught and the person will do what they think is romantic whenever they feel inclined to.
If your husband is not romantic at all... let him know. Just tell him he should be spontaneous every once in awhile. You should too. It's part of a relationship and doesn't have to be a constant thing. It becomes unromantic when it is expected.0 -
I only had one boyfriend who went out of his way to be 'romantic', with cute cheesy love notes and the whole candles ordeal.
I just appreciate the kind gestures that are done for me, in the long run, it holds much more importance then romance. The small things are important too! Men show they're affection through actions, they don't need to bring us flowers to do so. When they work hard to provide for a family, go out of their way to see you & spend time with you, protect & provide, it's more than enough.
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I don't know about it being taught/learned but I think all women crave romance. That being said not all women see the same things as being romantic. I think it's romantic when my fiancee sends me gold and items on the MMO we both play because he knows I need them. I don't ask he just sends them.0
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~ Romance : A feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. Someone guided more by ideals than by practical considerations ... a dreamer, an idealist.
I find that a person who has romantic intentions is a person who ignites fire in a relationship. It isn't about objects ... flowers, candy, jewelry or anything fancy ... it's about how they carry themselves, the look in their eyes. A person who oozes with sex appeal and knows how to express there passion through communication and touch.
I completely indulge in a relationship that includes intense emotions ... when you get butterflies at the thought of his touch ... and you smile at just the sound of his voice ... you have " lived " romance.
:blushing:
Laney, I couldnt have said it better myself !!!!!!! BRAVO ! I love romance0
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