I'm just going to vent for a second.

thekat78

I officially love ALL of you for responding. I feel a million times better. lol Thank you. I'll be friend requesting all of you in about 3 seconds!!!

elishabeish

I officially love ALL of you for responding. I feel a million times better. lol Thank you. I'll be friend requesting all of you in about 3 seconds!!!

Glad you feel better!

kwith1014

Boys are always gonna be dumb - - even the best of them!! And those bratty girls with boyfriends -- it doesn't mean that they are happy and that their relationships will last.

I didn't have my first real long lasting relationship until my 20's -- so I know the feeling but keep your head up because you never know when the perfect man will come into your life!

gurganuss

Honey it really doesnt get any b etter. There is no such thing as Mister Right. There is Mr Flawed, but flaws I can live with. At 33, divorced and in a relationship at this point, I still very much agree that boys are dumb. But there is no way around that.

I also will tell you that after some major soul searching I found that at times I am pretty dumb myself. But in our own way we are all a little flawed. LOL. Chin up!!!!

And as my favorite saigon kick song goes (from the 80's) "love is on the way". There is a lid for every pot we just have to find the one that fits the best

Helloitsdan

Judging by your pictures you look fascinating!
Be the lion if you are going to be the lion!
Grab life by the balls and own it!
Dont compare yourself with slag.
It requires too many calories and you already count to much of that!

I got a post from a shy girl whos on my numbers the other day....


"just thought i would let you know, i got hit on at the gym today because of my heavy lifts. um Hell ya! Thanks for the advice buddy!"

She was afraid to go play with the big boys in the gym and pick things up and put them down.

She grabbed life by the barbells instead and before you know it....

Anywho.
there are still some of us relationship Jedi out there.
You can tall us apart from the other dumb boys.
We open doors and move chairs and say "Thank you!" and "Its my pleasure!"
We try to pay it forward instead of hoarding it for ourselves.
We like strong women too!

Hugs Kat!

Gordie580

ok, so i hear constantly Boy's are dumb, That is genderlizing. The way to find a relationship is all in how you go about an meet people. And where you meet them. It's not that boy or guys are stupid, we just mature at an older age. When I was younger I lived by this saying. Boys have to have some toys, there easy and fixable. Younger guys are just into entertainment... When we meet "the one" love is complicated and over our heads, and not fixable but a learning curve.... Hense why when we get more mature we can adjust......
I will also add Most guys Want what they can't have....

arleylange

You are 19, relax. Seriously, you are at an age where it is better to be single, figure out who you are, and live your life. The one for you will show up when you stop looking. When I quit looking for a relationship and just started looking for friends, just wanting to live my life, my husband showed up (we'll be married 9 years in a couple months).

Befriend the shy ones. They don't tend to have huge egos and are much more interesting.

saragato

If you're looking at guys within your age range then yes you are going to find a plethora of guys still stuck in that "I only want the hot chick who puts out" mentality. And there's an overwhelming supply of those girls, even older ones. I'm not saying every guy your age or slightly older/younger is like that, I have a guy friend I've known since junior high who's a year younger than me who has never disrespected a female. Same with another guy friend I had in high school, he was a sweetheart to his girlfriend, loved her to death, and she broke it off to be a tramp and he was torn up for a year about it.

Shyness can affect possible flirting/dating scenarios but if the guy's looking for more than a booty call he'll chip away at your shell until your real self pokes out. As for the self esteem thing, I know that all too well. You don't necessarily have to love yourself before someone else can but you definitely need to find positive points about yourself, physically and personality-wise. Write a list if you want and even if for right then it's small, you can know that yeah okay you're not the airhead lots of young guys want, but you're this and you do that and you can make people laugh or whatnot. For years I used my humor to make friends and it boosted my self esteem because I was using a good thing I had and getting good results.

And I mean this in no mean way or anything because believe me we've all gone through it at some point but spending time actively searching for a guy or feeling bad because you don't have one isn't going to get you one sooner. Some people, it makes them more desperate and I've seen firsthand how much of a turn off that is. I had a best friend for 9 years and she wasn't what you would call attractive in many senses and for years she casually dated guys and only got serious with one who actually planned to marry her after 2 years together (she was 19 at this time, I was just turning 18) but something happened and he became a psychotic, possessive creep who harassed us both for 6 months after she ended it with him. After a year went by she started going stir-crazy to get another guy and she was harassing male coworkers for dates even though they never had anything in common with her, she flirted with customers and bragged once that she'd been offered a quickie in the broom closet at her job and online in forums we both attended you could have sworn she was a cat in heat, but no guys were biting because of it. It actually absorbed her so much that when I began dating a long time friend when I was 20 she tried sabotaging my relationship and stopped being a friend.

The long story short of that is, it's fine to want a boyfriend and to want that great bond you can get with a genuine one, but sometimes it's better to wait and make other stuff your main priority (and I'm not insinuating this is your #1 priority) and let the process be more natural in the sense of you happen upon a good guy or he comes up to you for a chat and things progress.

Me personally I didn't date until I was 20 and I'm still with him but after a really nasty incident when I was 16 (a boy at school spread a rumor I was his *kitten* after he forced a kiss on me then threatened to kill me if I said otherwise to people, and he actually had a knife on him when I told the principal and he was arrested the next school day) I didn't really look. But when my guy expressed interest and I, in a very odd way, expressed it back then everything settled into place. Life's weird when it comes to relationships of any kind, especially the romantic. But don't be discouraged by what you see around you, a lot of those are superficial and the only way they ever stay around one another a long time is often if they accidentally have a child. (and I mean no disrespect to those coming from that, my reference was to middle school/highschool students who are purposely irresponsible or the girls who think a baby will make the straying boyfriend stay)

saragato

ok, so i hear constantly Boy's are dumb, That is genderlizing. The way to find a relationship is all in how you go about an meet people. And where you meet them. It's not that boy or guys are stupid, we just mature at an older age. When I was younger I lived by this saying. Boys have to have some toys, there easy and fixable. Younger guys are just into entertainment... When we meet "the one" love is complicated and over our heads, and not fixable but a learning curve.... Hense why when we get more mature we can adjust......
I will also add Most guys Want what they can't have....

Not to argue the point since I'm all for redeeming guys of bad stereotypes, but where I come from it's not generalizing or gender discrimination/hating, it's pretty close to fact. Of course, the city I live in is very urban and very ghetto and that spans across all races. In high school there were boys who were going around with several girls at once, some for sex, others were looking to impregnate them because there was a belief that if you could get a girl pregnant, you rose to the status of a man regardless of age and the more kids you had the bigger a man and stud you were. And girls weren't far from the stupid category either. As I mentioned in my previous post somewhere in the last bit, many of them got pregnant to try and keep their guy because the relationship was pretty much just sex or physical attraction and nothing more. I had a 23 year old tell me when I was 19 that in order to become a woman I had to lose my virginity and then have as many kids as possible. So, the stupid bug goes both ways.

And yes it's proven (or at least argued in studies) that men technically do not reach their maturity peak until 30 while women are more around 19, but there's always someone that defies the statistics. Men in their 50s can still be idiots while guys at, say, 21 are looking for something meaningful. It's a nature v nurture argument, really. Really if guys were all the same we'd either all be in awesome relationships or the species would have died out after Women's Rights hit the stage.