An Open Letter To My First Love

jesusHchris

Dear Weight Lifting,

I realize that some things are best said face to face, but I just can't bring myself to look you in the eyes and do the right thing. It is with a heavy (yet surprisingly healthy) heart that I write you this letter.

Let me start by telling you how much I still love you. Together, we have built a solid yet dynamic foundation – the heavy stresses, ups and downs, pushing and pulling has only made me stronger. Even appearances succumbed to our bond – the heavier you got, the more of you there was to love.

But something has come between us. Do you remember last Friday, when I called from the office to tell you that I was working late? I arrived after midnight, face flushed and a bit unsteady on my feet. “I'm drunk,” I said, grabbing you violently and thrusting you up and down over my sweaty body.

That night was not a case of alcohol fueled passion like you might have hoped. The flushed face, the quick breathing, the sweaty brow – I was with HER just moments before I came in the door. Cardio. That's right, I have been doing Cardio. A lot.

Don't act like everything has been perfect between us. You and I both know that our relationship has hit a plateau. Just look at my MFP profile – I haven't gained a f***ing pound in over a month. CAN YOU EXPLAIN THAT!? I'm not going to blame it on your moves or your cooking, but that doesn't leave much else does it? And Cardio... she is just so much FUN. All you like to do is sit around for 30 minutes or so, eat some bread, and go to sleep. SHE likes to get out – snowboard, kickbox, hike, swim, and dance!

I realize that she is tearing our relationship apart, and I don't know what to do. Would you believe me if I said that I loved you both and couldn't dream of a world without either? Is it possible for such a thing to ever work? Remember that half episode of “Big Love” we caught the other night? Sigh, I guess we will never know.

Signed,
Shooting Myself In The Biceps For The Love of Fun