Feminine Fat & Motivation

stroutman81 · March 2012

I posted this on my blog this morning and I've been receiving a lot of positive feedback. I figured it'd be worth sharing here on the forum as well for those who don't follow my blog. This was in response to someone else on another forum earlier in the day:

I know you asked not to be judged, but I'm going to anyhow. Truthfully, without sounding all pervy, I think you have a rocking body. Seriously. I know "society" says fat is icky... but I prefer my women with some, what I'll refer to as, feminine fat.

Granted, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And what you deem beautiful or hot or whatever may be at the polar opposite end of the spectrum from what I deem as beautiful.

So I digress...

Just make sure you're not stressing out over some idealistic mold that's shoved down our throats each and everyday in our media. More often than not, that mold they're selling isn't even realistic for a lot of folks. It only stands to cause lots of stress, unrealistic expectations, and body image issues.

Motivation can be tough for some people. If you're not uncomfortable enough or dissatisfied enough, no motivation in the world is likely to carry you towards your goal. I mean, in a way, motivation is a temporary phenomenon and the motions that build and maintain a goal physique are forever. Those two variables don't exactly mesh.

In addition, if you don't believe in the possibility of attaining your goal or if it's really not as meaningful as you like to think it is... you're likely not going to attain it.

We're products of our daily choices and those choices are predicated, by and large, on the ideas of avoiding pain and gaining pleasure. What that means is, if you don't have things framed right in your mind.... if staying where you are isn't painful enough.... if missing out on the body you want isn't painful enough.... if attaining your goal isn't pleasurable enough.... and if leaving your current body in the dust isn't pleasurable enough....

Well, you're going to do a lot of wheel-spinning more than likely.

The answer? Heck, if I knew that I'd be a rich man. I know one thing... a quick fix doesn't exist. I think it starts with some daily accounting of your thoughts and goals. How are you perceiving certain things and what does your goal mean to you? Get detailed here.

Beyond that, it's very individual. Some of my clients are very competitive. They're ex-athletes or current athletes. For them, it can be about highlighting personal performance records - essentially competing with themselves.

For others it's about monthly assessments to highlight improvements in whatever metrics you're trying to improve. It can be small things like posture or big things like body composition or whatever. But seeing progress tends to breed motivation. Of course the progress needs to be there in the first place, and that opens up a whole other can of worms about people expecting way too much and/or not responding to a lack of progress correctly. I won't go down that path today... I'll just say a) don't be married to an approach - if it's not yielding the results you had hoped for, experiment with something else and b) you don't fail until you quit - I find so many people drop off the wagon because things didn't go as planned this month or whatever.

Ultimately though... you GOTTA WANNA. That's at the center of all this. Again, you can get all riled up here and there about wanting something... but that's not the same as building a mindset that breeds success. You generally can't hype yourself up by watching some motivational video or whatever to a point where it generates the energy required to attain such a long term thing as a body composition goal.

If you're not consistently refocusing on the "prize" and if you're not consistently evaluating your perceptions through a lens of truth... well, it's going to be tough going in my opinion.

You might also start by identifying your biggest hurdles as well as coming up with potential ways of lowering them a bit.

For instance, you mention that you eat all day long. Well, eating all day long typically isn't conducive to controlling calories. And controlling calories is ultimately a catalyst to losing fat. But you don't want to stop eating all day long, you say? Well for starters, part of this journey is about sacrifice. Ultimately you have to give up some things to gain some others.

But compromise can also be a part of this journey. If you want to keep nibbling throughout the day, fine. Then replace a lot of those nibbles with low energy density foods. If you google energy density and food, you'll get all sorts of information. Things like fibrous veggies and fruits do wonders.

You might also find ways to fill yourself up better, thus reducing the volume of consumption throughout the day. This ties in with eating low energy density foods from above.... but there are other ways. Eating adequate amounts of protein for example, will do wonders for hunger regulation. Protein is the most satiating nutrient out of the bunch.

It sounds like you don't have a problem with exercise... but I'll say this. Make sure your types and dosages of exercise match your goal. Our bodies adapt in very specific ways to various types of exercise. Put differently, not all exercise is created equally in terms of what it'll do to your physique. For example, if your goal is to be lean but you're not doing any resistance training while dieting... you likely should change your course a bit.

I've likely already rambled on too much... sorry about that.

Best!