Question about personal life

angiebarker
angiebarker Posts: 127
in Motivation and Support
Okay so the other day this lady at the store (cashier/bagger) was driving me nuts and i got frustrated and told her straight out i wouldnt be coming back. Anyway, my hubby and mom where with me and i was emotional anyway so this situation didnt help. i apologized for being an embarrassment to my hubby and my mom in the store. i felt bad and hubby said he was ashamed then last night he told me he was. we got into a heated discussion because i hate when people lie and yeah. never the less he said he promised it wouldnt happen again. it was a little white lie and i trust he wont ever do it again. he was honestly trying to protect my feelings because he knew i have been emotional lately. Anyway, my question is, is it okay for me to be shocked that he was ashamed of how i acted or should i realize that he was because he cares about me. I know that he loves me dearly and wouldnt want my feeling hurt or wouldnt want me to do something to get my self in hot water so to speak. Is it normal for a significant other to somethings (this is the first and hopefully the last) get ashamed or embarrassed of the other?

Replies

  • Jade17694
    Jade17694 Posts: 584 Member
    I think it is perfectly normal..it shows they care :) besides, maybe he was having one of those too x
  • angiebarker
    angiebarker Posts: 127
    Thanks! i wasn't sure how to take it. it makes sense now though :)
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    shouldnt you be more concerned about treating the cashier rudely?
  • angiebarker
    angiebarker Posts: 127
    shouldnt you be more concerned about treating the cashier rudely?

    She was the one who started the argument.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    shouldnt you be more concerned about treating the cashier rudely?

    She was the one who started the argument.

    so what
  • nataliefallbach
    nataliefallbach Posts: 105
    We all treat people poorly at some point in our lives, regardless if we meant to or not. People get frustrated sometimes, its OK. I'm sure the guy/girl is used to it somewhat. I work in customer service and have for years, I don't take it personal when someone yells at me, it happens sometimes. So I wouldn't worry about that so much. I'm sure the cashier will get over it and move on with their life. As for your husband, he told you his feelings about it and you can try to be better next time. Life is about learning from our mistakes. At least he was being honest with you even though he knew it would hurt your feelings. On a personal note, I have been very emotional for the last few months. I dropped twenty pounds, quit smoking and workout 6 days a week plus work a 9 to 10 hour shift on top of that. I log all of my food and pack everything with me, breakfast - lunch, including snacks 6 days a week, its like a second job (losing weight), so I'm know I am tired and that I am easy to freak out over stupid little things. I think you might be to hard on yourself. Give yourself a break :) Things happen, he loves you and I bet he understands more then you think. My husband has been very supportive but he did talk to me about my mood swings the other day. I promised myself I would try harder to leave my frustrations at the door and not bring them home. Maybe you should try that as well and see if it helps. Weight loss can be very frustrating and if you are like me, you may (not meaning to) take it out on others who don't deserve it.
  • nataliefallbach
    nataliefallbach Posts: 105
    shouldnt you be more concerned about treating the cashier rudely?

    She was the one who started the argument.

    so what

    Dave, I bet you have treated people poorly in your life and not meant to. or cut someone off on the highway and not meant to (and that is rude), give her a break.
  • cbeutler
    cbeutler Posts: 667 Member
    I wouldn't worry how he felt. Did he have your back at the time? That's what would be important to me.

    We all feel what we feel. You just don't have to act on it. I think its perfectly all right to deal with the feelings later when you won't make the situation worse.
  • SusanleeBee
    SusanleeBee Posts: 144 Member
    if my husband ever told me he was ashamed of me, for any reason, there would be hell to pay. Your husband is supposed to be on your team. Always.
  • nnylee
    nnylee Posts: 811 Member
    if my husband ever told me he was ashamed of me, for any reason, there would be hell to pay. Your husband is supposed to be on your team. Always.

    Not if you murder someone in cold blood. D:
  • lucythinmint
    lucythinmint Posts: 239
    if my husband ever told me he was ashamed of me, for any reason, there would be hell to pay. Your husband is supposed to be on your team. Always.

    Not if you murder someone in cold blood. D:

    Always depends on who it was and why they did it...details.:bigsmile:
  • livinginwoods
    livinginwoods Posts: 562 Member
    if my husband ever told me he was ashamed of me, for any reason, there would be hell to pay. Your husband is supposed to be on your team. Always.

    I disagree. Sometimes you need a reality check and not just someone who always sides with you because you are married.


    To the OP. It is okay. It can be upsetting when a cashier is rude to you and it is okay to be angry about it. How you react sometimes may not be the way you usually would. I did something I hardly ever do last week. I did not tip a waitress because she was short with the group. I felt bad about it an hour after the fact. But you have to move on and not let it bother you. As far as your husband goes sometimes we can embarrass our spouses. I have done it to my husband and he has done it to me. Forgive and move on. I hope you feel better.
  • SusanleeBee
    SusanleeBee Posts: 144 Member
    if my husband ever told me he was ashamed of me, for any reason, there would be hell to pay. Your husband is supposed to be on your team. Always.

    Not if you murder someone in cold blood. D:

    Always depends on who it was and why they did it...details.:bigsmile:

    I would expect him to help me hide the body.

    That said, he will tell me if I'm in the wrong about something, but he would never be "ashamed" of me. If it was me vs. someone being rude to me, he would have my back.
  • coconutbuNZ
    coconutbuNZ Posts: 578 Member
    Yes it is normal. It is called being open and honest - but it has to be said in a way where it won't hurt or degrade you. Learn from it but don't beat yourself up. We all misbehave sometimes!
  • vicky1966
    vicky1966 Posts: 32 Member
    Maybe the word ashamed is what has you a little upset. Sometimes I say or do things that I shouldn't do ...my hubby gives me a reality check and vice versa. I like to look at it as balancing each other...maybe he didn't choose his words carefully... you could always ask him when the mood is good?

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