Vent "You look fine you don't need to lose weight"

jenbk2

I hate when people say this. I know they are trying to be nice- but hello I weigh over 200 lbs. I do not look fine. I am fat ! Yes I may have a "pretty face" (that is even questionable). When people say that they give those a false sense that we are okay to be "fat".

k8lyn_235

you do have a pretty face

but i agree. i think people just don't know what to say, and they don't want to offend you and say "yea, you're too big. you definitely need to lose weight." sometimes people aren't good at coming up with words of encouragement, i guess.

AmyM713

Agreed, You can be skinny fat too. Just because I'm small doesn't mean I'm healthy. I'm learning to not care what others say, if you feel like you need to change then go for it, others don't know how you are really feeling.

steadk

I hate when people say that also. I've been struggling to get even the baby weight off, and people keep telling me "it'll come off soon" like it just happens, like when i put it on. So frustrating. I understand. Sorry you're feeling frustrated!

migoi357

Maybe reply, "Thank you, but looks can be deceiving." :happy:

willrun4redvines

This is why I never tell people that I'm trying to "lose weight". I might say that I'm trying to get healthier, but I avoid the phrase 'weight loss'.

SueGremlin

Exactly why I don't discuss weight loss with anyone.

JoolieW68

Perhaps in their eyes they don't see you as fat. Perhaps they see past that and think you're a fabulous human being no matter what you look like or how you feel about yourself.

elishabeish

I feel the same way or "your not even that big" Hello, do you remember me 10 years ago?? I'm twice that now!!!! I think they mean well, but I rather hear the truth or I may start to believe that it's "okay" as well. You have a lovely face! And a beautiful smile I'll add!

kgchisholm

Maybe reply, "Thank you, but looks can be deceiving." :happy:

I like that!

I often say, "Thanks. I'm glad you think I look nice, but I'm still working towards a HEALTHY weight for my height!"

That usually makes people focus more on the health than the size.

HauteP1nk

Some people just don't know what to say when someone tells them they are losing weight. Even if they think you need to lose weight it would be completely rude to agree or point that out.

If you don't want to hear people give you a compliment that you feel is a lie then maybe don't discuss your weight loss with anyone?

p.s. You ARE pretty.

foxyforce

these are the people that sabotage you.

i have dealt with this my whole life. I WAS always the skinny AND fit one. I used to exercise even when I was 13, not obsessively, just put on music videos and dance the afternoon away kinda thing!

and every person I have encountered when I have wanted to lose some of my bulge have told me, 'you look fine, you don't need to lose any weight...here have a cookie'.

it went from that to me being told i look pregnant the other day. and my partner telling me i have a bit of a belly, which means more than a bit. yet a year ago no one wanted me to exercise or eat healthy.

do this for you, these people SUCK!

victoria4321

Exactly why I don't discuss weight loss with anyone.

Same here. I don't like to start the whole convo about why I'm on a diet, i look fine etc etc

Artemis_Acorn

Our culture is messed up that way. I just smile and say that I'm working toward a healthy weight for my height and that I'm not there yet, This approach subtly shifts the conversation from appearance to health and from someone's stated opinion to cold-hard facts.

They will often ask me how much more I plan to lose at that point, and I tell them that in order to be in the UPPER range of normal for my height, I need to lose 60 more pounds. This often freaks them out and they'll try to argue again, but if they press me on it, I just remind them that it is only a pound at a time and assure them that I'll stop losing when I am at a healthy BMI. It really isn't any of their business, but I can't tell you how many times people have asked me how to calculate a healthy BMI at that point. (And yes, I explain that the BMI is just a guideline and doesn't work for everyone.) This approach not only spreads awareness and educates people, but it also defuses the situation - I don't have to "defend" what I'm doing and they don't get to keep insisting that they're right.

angimac

You could always tell them that you are working with your physician who has given you the goal that you are trying to reach... and then add "and for your height, according to what my doctor told me, it wouldn't hurt you to lose 10 (20, whatever) pounds"

My mother is going to keep on griping at me about how I don't need to lose anymore weight till I tell her that my doctor said she needs to lose about 30 pounds herself

Razkler14

It's your journey and no one else's! No one has any right to judge you or what you do or what you believe you or your body should look like. People tell me the same thing, or they say, "All you do is workout". Typically people, even those closest to us at times, don't like to see us succeed or make ourselves better healthier people. It's sick and wrong of them, but usually they don't even realize they are doing it. Some tell us we are fine the way we are and they genuinely mean it, while others say it because they fear how great we will be if we keep going.

If you are not happy with you, power on sista! You are very pretty, but if on the inside you don't feel such... do what makes you feel good and worry bout the others later!