Friend Vent

dahvishont02

Ok. So I have not logged in for several weeks now. Why you ask? Because my father has been in ICU because of a brain aneurysm rupture and I have been traveling between Atlanta and Richmond, Virginia to help out.

Imagine my surprise when I come back and my friend list has shrunken terribly. I posted about my situation and had everyone's well wishes and prayers. I would post every now and then and leave an update about my father or update my weight loss. Was I tracking a food diary? Heck no. Why would I in such a situation? I didn't have time. I hope if your father is touch and go - you focus on the more important things.

My issue in this, since being a member here, I have noticed a rampant issue of ME attitude. People brag about cutting their friends list if someone has not logged on for a while because "they are not taking weight loss seriously" blah blah. If this is supposed to be a community of supporters with a common goal, why would you not send a message or update to see how a person is doing with their journey? Yes, weight loss is a journey of ups, downs, and backflips. Maybe the person is having a tough time or maybe their father is about to die. I am just saying. I keep my friend list small for a reason, so that I can have meaningful interaction with those who I can help and who can help me.

I have friends outside of MyFitnessPal, so it is not like my life is over ad typically it wouldn't even be a big deal to me. But i felt like I needed to address this issue because it pissed me off. One thing I hate is fair weather people. But that is all, good day. :-)

xraylady33

Same thing happened to me, or you have some people who only want to have large numbers of friends, and ignore you on your home page while communicating with others.

Best part, all the people who use this as a single site, and the sexual conotations ALL DAY LONG...REALLY....? It drives me nuts, but I have never ever deleted anyone! Its ridiculous!

So, go ahead and friend me, I will not drop you!

Have a great day, and I hope your father is doing better! That is a scary diagnosis.

dahvishont02

Thanks xraylady. I just needed a soap box, just briefly. LOL. Yes my father is doing better, he is out of ICU. But with a brain hemorrhage the outcome is bleak. But he is the 50 percent that survived and part of the 33 percent of them that are not a vegetable. He has a long way to go, but I am optimistic. He is only 48 and will never be able to work again. But he is here.

cardbucfan

I'm so sorry about your father and hope he is doing better. I totally get where you are coming from. I actually have somebody on my friends list who hasn't logged in in 2 months but she told me she had some personal things to deal with and needed to step away for a bit. I too keep my friends list small for the same reasons as you do but it's no big deal that she hasn't logged in! At least you know who to spend your time on on this site now.

And just so you know, I had a friend who had a brain aneurysm burst and she is absolutely fine today. She got quick care and treatment and is now back to her normal self. Hoping your father falls in that same boat!

xraylady33

Saying prayers for both of you! It breaks my heart when quality of life is compromised. I hope small miracles trickle in.

1shauna1

I agree. I hope my MFP friends have lives outside this board! And I wouldn't defriend them for taking some time off. Hope your dad is doing better!

Aliciah130

I thought the point of having friends was so when u slip n fall they help u up n encourage u to keep moving forward :-/ I am sorry ur friends list shrunk obviously those ppl weren't in it to be supportive!!!! I just realized u can add friends on here lol I've had the mfp app on my iPhone for a long time n unfortunately I can't access the community forums on it so I'm now adding friends n I'm going to add u !!!!! Best wishes to ur dad I hope he is well now!!!!

MrsMrtz

Sorry to hear about your father, I hope he's doing better. And, I totally agree with what you said.

honestlysweet

Same thing happened to me, or you have some people who only want to have large numbers of friends, and ignore you on your home page while communicating with others.

Best part, all the people who use this as a single site, and the sexual conotations ALL DAY LONG...REALLY....? It drives me nuts, but I have never ever deleted anyone! Its ridiculous!

So, go ahead and friend me, I will not drop you!

Have a great day, and I hope your father is doing better! That is a scary diagnosis.

I say if the sexual connotations bother you, maybe you should have a different profile pic. Your "come hither" look and white sports bra may give of the wrong impression. Funny, I never get that...hmmm.....

xraylady33

Same thing happened to me, or you have some people who only want to have large numbers of friends, and ignore you on your home page while communicating with others.

Best part, all the people who use this as a single site, and the sexual conotations ALL DAY LONG...REALLY....? It drives me nuts, but I have never ever deleted anyone! Its ridiculous!

So, go ahead and friend me, I will not drop you!

Have a great day, and I hope your father is doing better! That is a scary diagnosis.

I say if the sexual connotations bother you, maybe you should have a different profile pic. Your "come hither" look and white sports bra may give of the wrong impression. Funny, I never get that...hmmm.....

I will reply to you against my better judgement. REALLY?! No cleavage, And barely skin. I added this picture after returning from surgery and am really proud of what I have accomplished.
Please do not judge me, because you do not know me, or anything about me!
I do not care what you do not get, nor am I judging you...Making a statement about sexual conotations is my choice....so you are saying when someone is violated...oh she asked for it because of what she is wearing? Give me a break. I have more skin covered than most people in public environments....
Thanks for your opinion.

honestlysweet

Same thing happened to me, or you have some people who only want to have large numbers of friends, and ignore you on your home page while communicating with others.

Best part, all the people who use this as a single site, and the sexual conotations ALL DAY LONG...REALLY....? It drives me nuts, but I have never ever deleted anyone! Its ridiculous!

So, go ahead and friend me, I will not drop you!

Have a great day, and I hope your father is doing better! That is a scary diagnosis.

I say if the sexual connotations bother you, maybe you should have a different profile pic. Your "come hither" look and white sports bra may give of the wrong impression. Funny, I never get that...hmmm.....

I will reply to you against my better judgement. REALLY?! No cleavage, And barely skin. I added this picture after returning from surgery and am really proud of what I have accomplished.
Please do not judge me, because you do not know me, or anything about me!
I do not care what you do not get, nor am I judging you...Making a statement about sexual conotations is my choice....so you are saying when someone is violated...oh she asked for it because of what she is wearing? Give me a break. I have more skin covered than most people in public environments....
Thanks for your opinion.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend. I was just explaining, as an outsider, how and why you may be getting all those sexual comments all day that you seem to hate. so. I was just trying to help. Maybe you really didn't know why you were getting those.

Not sure where the thing about a girl asking for it came from. That's a whole different issue.

xraylady33

Same thing happened to me, or you have some people who only want to have large numbers of friends, and ignore you on your home page while communicating with others.

Best part, all the people who use this as a single site, and the sexual conotations ALL DAY LONG...REALLY....? It drives me nuts, but I have never ever deleted anyone! Its ridiculous!

So, go ahead and friend me, I will not drop you!

Have a great day, and I hope your father is doing better! That is a scary diagnosis.

I say if the sexual connotations bother you, maybe you should have a different profile pic. Your "come hither" look and white sports bra may give of the wrong impression. Funny, I never get that...hmmm.....

I will reply to you against my better judgement. REALLY?! No cleavage, And barely skin. I added this picture after returning from surgery and am really proud of what I have accomplished.
Please do not judge me, because you do not know me, or anything about me!
I do not care what you do not get, nor am I judging you...Making a statement about sexual conotations is my choice....so you are saying when someone is violated...oh she asked for it because of what she is wearing? Give me a break. I have more skin covered than most people in public environments....
Thanks for your opinion.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend. I was just explaining, as an outsider, how and why you may be getting all those sexual comments all day that you seem to hate. so. I was just trying to help. Maybe you really didn't know why you were getting those.

Not sure where the thing about a girl asking for it came from. That's a whole different issue.

I am not personally getting these, they are between other members.
Regardless, I am me, and you are you....stand tall!

caterpillardreams

I understand, I believe I wrote about this topic once, I have a life too and also have a family. But like you I believe we are to support each other. But I guess if they don't want to your friend the better you are, cause you know they will not be there even for a bit of encouragement when you are going through. I pray for your father and that he may heal soon. I have not deleted anyone. I feel like some people go through some things no one know about and maybe they can not talk to anyone, but if they log back on. Im here.
Take care, you can add me as a friend if you like

dahvishont02

I am sorry xraylady, I don't agree - honestlysweet it is a free country and your allowed to have an opinion, but I am allowed to say it is a stupid one. We can agree to disagree. Your statement is complete and utter bull and has nothing to do with my vent. Out of everything that was said on this forum, that is all that you got from it? That is like me looking at your statement to xraylady and saying, "ohh honestweetly must want to get hit on. Poor thing." When in actuality you are screaming for attention that you never get at home. So instead of judging you, I will pray for you, that you will get to the point where you pull the rafter out of your own eye, before you try to remove the straw from someone else's."

:: folds up soapbox and exits::

dahvishont02

Caterpillar thanks!

Oliviamarie05

This is why I'm terrified of adding people at all! I've seen so many threads where people are just slamming one another for the food they are eating, the lack of support and then when someone's life takes a turn, mainly for the worst, they get dropped.

I'm really sorry for your father and I will be keeping him and your family in my prayers. Keep your chin up and keep doing what you're doing. Obviously you are still able to lose without those people's support. You rock!

dahvishont02

I am thanking everyone for their support and encouraging stories! You guys are awesome!

LivieUlchabhan

I'm fairly new to MFP and only started adding the commmunity recently. This week I didn't log for two days and the friends numbers are down. I read some of the communities profiles and they have strict rules of who they will except and why they will delete you. I even encountered one person who said 'If you aren't eating good, you're gone" when they themselves couldn't keep 100% healthy. The problem is what is healthy? I think it doesn't hurt if you add a little bit of treats to your diet, because for me I will definetely cheat if I didn't allow a little bit. Now deleting someone because they didn't log in because they have a life outside the internet is clearly childish in my opinion.

I want you to know that you're a strong, beautiful woman and your Dad needs you right now. You're making the best decision to focus your time on him and getting him better or feeling good is the best thing right now. You still have my support through this journey, forget those people who made the wrong decision by leaving your friends list, because they are missing one heck of a woman

My thoughts and prayers for your whole family right now!

dahvishont02

Thanks Livie! I loved that comment.