Can anyone tell me what I am doing wrong?

bethgames

OK, I admit that last weekend was my son's 12th birthday and we took him to a hotel with 8 buddies to swim. I ate the pizza AND the cake, but I logged it! I am walking at lunch with a coworker and bike riding when I can. This morning again the scale was up....3 day in a row, up! Wrong direction, my friend........

Now that my husband is disabled, he is responsible for all the cooking. He has been doing a good job of cooking low calorie. He still has tons of muscle and looks great, but I cant seem to lose unless I starve myself. I have been trying to do it right this time but at 45 and yoyo dieting, I think my body can only lose if I severely restrict my calories. I am trying not to do it that way this time.......HELP!!!!

I am an accountant and my job is very sedentary but I do alot with my son like biking and geocaching. Not serious workouts, but at least not vegging in front of the TV.

I just want to feel better and carry less weight. Am I way off here????

chachadiva150

I peeked at your food journal. You want to lose 98 lbs. and you're only allowed 1100 calories? Did you enter the correct numbers in MFP?

At first glance:

-Cut on the processed food
-Eat regular meals
-Get on a consistent exercise program. Get some good cardio and strength training

lizlau90

Hi, from what i can see you seriously need to eat more. I know its a contradiction to losing weight but if your eat below your BMR (the amount of calories your body needs to stay alive and working when its doing nothing at all) then it will go into starvation mode and will store whatever you do eat as fat. I suggest you use this website http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/ enter your details and see what it says your BMR is and do not have a net calorie intake of less than that per day.

Once you know your BMR i would suggest using this tool http://www.weight-loss-tips-and-secrets.com/calorie-intake.html to calculate your TDEE (the amount of calories your body needs when you are active in and every day situation) and then if you are aiming for a 1lb a week weight loss (3500 calorie deficit in a week) minus 500 calories from your TDEE per day and as long as your net calorie intake per day is between your BMR baseline and at or below 500 less than your TDEE you should see a weight loss.

Hope this helped.

x

tobirhae

I glanced at your diary, too. I don't think you're eating enough. You need to figure out what your BMR is and make sure you eat at least that.

Of course, this is coming from someone who works out every day, watches what she eats and still can't lose weight.

deepcanyon

I can totally relate to that before my 20 yr old daughter was born i lost over 100lbs by starving myself from it i got a heart murmur..but to me it was worth it at the time i wanted more than anything to be a normal size..then when i got pregnant with my son now almost 16 i delivered at 220 then i went up to 250 afterwards.. i went to a dietician an they had me write down everything i ate in 2 weeks an trust me i did not cheat i wanted to know how i could be gaining weight..they said i had to have lied cause there was no way i could have gained weight eating what i had wrote ..they had no idea how desperate i was to find answers..so i finally started to lose weight about 2 yrs ago then go to 180 an stalled out couldnt lose another pound would go from 180 to 190 an i finally got feed up an went to what i knew...eat nothing but water for 2 days then a small meal...the weight went off...my family had a fit as did my doc but at 53 i wanted to be 135 an i got there in just a few months..an have kept it off for over a yr now,,my problem now is that i am started to see my weight go up again an i sure dont want to have to do that again so joined here to get motivation an support as to what i am doing wrong..all my blood work sugar, thyroid everything is perfect they have no answers..i have friends that say why do you want to be that small at 53 ..well i love the cute clothes an feeling good about myself an how i look...only mistake i made was i didnt work out when losing so have alot of toning to do that the docs say is more than any exercise program will get the real toned look..
so sometimes i think its a metabolism thing more than what we eat or how much
just my opinion
good luck!!

bethgames

OK, I do get all that. However, my doctor says to stay on a 1100-1200 calorie diet. Which I am doing. The log say some processed foods, but they are not correct. Everything we eat is homemade and/or comes out of our garden (except for those cheat days with the hotel). I cannot find exactly what I am looking for sometimes, so I get close with what is in the database and choose that if the calories are similar. Does that make sense? The exercise is going to continue to be hit or miss with a 12 year old with a busy schedule, a disabled husband and a 89 year old granny at home to take care of. I work long hours most days and getting out to walk at lunch for 30 minutes is a luxury I insist on, but the occasional bike ride and or hike with my son is probably all I can manage. Dang, I barely have any down time now.....

bcattoes

My advice is to up your exercise. By that I mean exercise more intensely. Add more hills to your bike rides. Ride faster. Look for geocaches that include a long or steep hike. Add some strength training. I've found that with a sedentary job exercise intensity is important to keep your metabolism up. The older you are, the more important it becomes (not saying you are old, as you are several years younger than my young self ) But he unfortunate truth is that both age and sedentary lifestyle slows your metabolism. Exercise will speed it up. The more intense, the better the result.

bethgames

I can totally relate to that before my 20 yr old daughter was born i lost over 100lbs by starving myself from it i got a heart murmur..but to me it was worth it at the time i wanted more than anything to be a normal size..then when i got pregnant with my son now almost 16 i delivered at 220 then i went up to 250 afterwards.. i went to a dietician an they had me write down everything i ate in 2 weeks an trust me i did not cheat i wanted to know how i could be gaining weight..they said i had to have lied cause there was no way i could have gained weight eating what i had wrote ..they had no idea how desperate i was to find answers..so i finally started to lose weight about 2 yrs ago then go to 180 an stalled out couldnt lose another pound would go from 180 to 190 an i finally got feed up an went to what i knew...eat nothing but water for 2 days then a small meal...the weight went off...my family had a fit as did my doc but at 53 i wanted to be 135 an i got there in just a few months..an have kept it off for over a yr now,,my problem now is that i am started to see my weight go up again an i sure dont want to have to do that again so joined here to get motivation an support as to what i am doing wrong..all my blood work sugar, thyroid everything is perfect they have no answers..i have friends that say why do you want to be that small at 53 ..well i love the cute clothes an feeling good about myself an how i look...only mistake i made was i didnt work out when losing so have alot of toning to do that the docs say is more than any exercise program will get the real toned look..
so sometimes i think its a metabolism thing more than what we eat or how much
just my opinion
good luck!!

Thanks so much...I am not crazy. I think that my starvation methods earlier in my life has come home to roost. My doctor told me that eating a restricted calorie diet will not stall my weight loss as 'starving people are not fat'. She made sense at the time.....

myfitnessnmhoy

Based on a quick glance at just a day or two of your diary, I'm inclined to agree with the previous posters - you're probably in starvation mode or alternating in and out of it.

My first guess (disclaimer: I am NOT a dietician, and I've only looked at a day or two of your food diary so I can't comment on trends) is only coffee for breakfast is setting you up for failure from the get-go. Your metabolism has nothing to start the day with, and you're in starvation mode. You can't fast every day, and "break-fast" is critical to getting your body going in the morning.

I have a half-bagel with Neufchatel (low-fat cream cheese) and a cup of coffee for brekkies. It's enough that I'm not feeling tired or hungry all morning, but not a huge amount of calories.

Once your energy levels come back up a bit, try some more strenuous workouts - even if it's just a really brisk walk while your son bikes. But get out of starvation mode first.

Also, understand that plateaus are normal, and don't stress about them. It took me over a year to lose from 280 to 230 a decade ago, and I made the mistake of rushing and stressing about it and skipping meals. I think I could have done it in half the time if I had known how to avoid starvation mode - I spent most of that year feeling sick and having no energy at all.

bethgames

My advice is to up your exercise. By that I mean exercise more intensely. Add more hills to your bike rides. Ride faster. Look for geocaches that include a long or steep hike. Add some strength training. I've found that with a sedentary job exercise intensity is important to keep your metabolism up. The older you are, the more important it becomes (not saying you are old, as you are several years younger than my young self ) But he unfortunate truth is that both age and sedentary lifestyle slows your metabolism. Exercise will speed it up. The more intense, the better the result.

I'm gonna try, but it is still hockey season :drinker: Heck it takes me 2 days now to get through a Red Wings game as all I have is about 2 hours between getting home and bed time. Up again at 4am....welcome to my world :grumble:

bcattoes

Thanks so much...I am not crazy. I think that my starvation methods earlier in my life has come home to roost. My doctor told me that eating a restricted calorie diet will not stall my weight loss as 'starving people are not fat'. She made sense at the time.....

She is absolutely right. Starving yourself will cause you to lose weight. But being a little hungry is not starving. And you'll lose more quickly with a balanced nutrient rich diet and exercise. 1100 may be plenty for you. Not everyone needs 1200 or more, but make sure that is 1100 NET calories. If you exercise, eat more. You'll look and feel better and you will still lose. Just don't get discouraged if it takes a few weeks to get started. After not exercising regularly for nearly a year (with desk job) it took me about 3 weeeks to see a loss, but then it started coming off quickly. I wasn't counting calories then but I probably was eating 1000 - 1300 net calories per day. But I was eating about 1500 - 1800 total calories.

bethgames

Based on a quick glance at just a day or two of your diary, I'm inclined to agree with the previous posters - you're probably in starvation mode or alternating in and out of it.

My first guess (disclaimer: I am NOT a dietician, and I've only looked at a day or two of your food diary so I can't comment on trends) is only coffee for breakfast is setting you up for failure from the get-go. Your metabolism has nothing to start the day with, and you're in starvation mode. You can't fast every day, and "break-fast" is critical to getting your body going in the morning.

I have a half-bagel with Neufchatel (low-fat cream cheese) and a cup of coffee for brekkies. It's enough that I'm not feeling tired or hungry all morning, but not a huge amount of calories.

Once your energy levels come back up a bit, try some more strenuous workouts - even if it's just a really brisk walk while your son bikes. But get out of starvation mode first.

Also, understand that plateaus are normal, and don't stress about them. It took me over a year to lose from 280 to 230 a decade ago, and I made the mistake of rushing and stressing about it and skipping meals. I think I could have done it in half the time if I had known how to avoid starvation mode - I spent most of that year feeling sick and having no energy at all.

That makes sense. Up until this week I was eating a hard boiled egg every morning and I miss it. My husband failed to boil me eggs this week. :grumble: I am going to add it back as soon as I can. Living in the middle of nowhere means only getting to the grocery once a week, but plenty of eggs and such

bethgames

I am going to try to stick to 1100 NET calories. When I think I am eating back my exercise calories, maybe I'm not.....I will watch closer. The exercise is going to continue to be rough outside of work. My walking partner is 101 lbs AND a new mom. LOL She does make me pick up my pace. Although I never want to be her weight, she has such a hard time putting it on....we all have our crosses to bear, eh?

myfitnessnmhoy

Thanks so much...I am not crazy. I think that my starvation methods earlier in my life has come home to roost. My doctor told me that eating a restricted calorie diet will not stall my weight loss as 'starving people are not fat'. She made sense at the time.....

Allow me to be brutally honest - that bit of advice from your doctor was dangerously stupid. Find a new doctor. Seriously.

Starving peopel are not fat, true. That doesn't mean that "starvation mode" will lose you any weight. You're in a first-world country - your body doesn't know what "starvation" really is, and "starvation mode" is really a bit of a misnomer - "metabolic adjustment" would be better.

"Starvation mode" is not true starvation, it is the body's metabolism reacting to low caloric intake. Your body can drop its metabolism quite low in reaction to low caloric intake, so you'll never lose weight by fighting that battle. You need to maintain an OPTIMUM metabolic rate, which means you need plenty of calories, but not too many.

Unless you're taking in VERY few calories (think low-triple-digit per day), you'll never get your metabolic rate below your caloric intake. It's a horrible, unhealthy, miserable, and dangerous way to lose weight. And it could kill you.

Stick with approximately the recommendations on the site here with the recommendations on calories, proteins, etc, and focus on working out to increase your metabolic rate and improve muscle tone and cardio health. Then don't stress out over every pound, it'll take care of itself if you take care of YOURself.

myfitnessnmhoy

That makes sense. Up until this week I was eating a hard boiled egg every morning and I miss it. My husband failed to boil me eggs this week. :grumble: I am going to add it back as soon as I can. Living in the middle of nowhere means only getting to the grocery once a week, but plenty of eggs and such

A boiled egg is a beautiful breakfast. Lots of wonderful protein-y goodness to get your body fired up for the day.

You miss it because your body needed it.

Doomfrog

My advice is to up your exercise. By that I mean exercise more intensely. Add more hills to your bike rides. Ride faster. Look for geocaches that include a long or steep hike. Add some strength training. I've found that with a sedentary job exercise intensity is important to keep your metabolism up. The older you are, the more important it becomes (not saying you are old, as you are several years younger than my young self ) But he unfortunate truth is that both age and sedentary lifestyle slows your metabolism. Exercise will speed it up. The more intense, the better the result.

I'm gonna try, but it is still hockey season :drinker: Heck it takes me 2 days now to get through a Red Wings game as all I have is about 2 hours between getting home and bed time. Up again at 4am....welcome to my world :grumble:

I don't want to be a jerk (but I'm probably going to sound like one), but you might want to take a look and re-establish your priorities. If you are using hockey season and watching games as an excuse to not improve your exercise regimen, you might not be completely motivated to make this lifestyle change at this time (although I commend your choice in teams). I assume you are up north. It's spring! You potentially still have daylight when you get home! It is no longer grey and yucky and freezing cold! Take advantage of it.

However, on another note, the scale might be saying you are gaining because of your sodium fest this weekend. That will happen to me sometimes after kind of a "cheaty" day or couple of days. I drink lots of water to flush it out and usually get back to square one. I agree that you are probably not "starving" if you are living a relatively sedentary lifestyle. I eat a lot of calories (comparatively speaking), but this is because I never cancel my workout appointments. I recently upped my calories to get over a plateau and it worked, but I excercise hard and/or weight train 6 days a week. If it is easier for you to count calories, I say go ahead and do so. But remember that calories are just one part of the picture. I would really recommend making your diary entries as accurate as possible so you can keep track of things like sugar/carbs/protein etc. You might have to do some manual entries but it will be worth it.

Good luck to you! Enjoy your improving weather!

bethgames

My advice is to up your exercise. By that I mean exercise more intensely. Add more hills to your bike rides. Ride faster. Look for geocaches that include a long or steep hike. Add some strength training. I've found that with a sedentary job exercise intensity is important to keep your metabolism up. The older you are, the more important it becomes (not saying you are old, as you are several years younger than my young self ) But he unfortunate truth is that both age and sedentary lifestyle slows your metabolism. Exercise will speed it up. The more intense, the better the result.

I'm gonna try, but it is still hockey season :drinker: Heck it takes me 2 days now to get through a Red Wings game as all I have is about 2 hours between getting home and bed time. Up again at 4am....welcome to my world :grumble:

I don't want to be a jerk (but I'm probably going to sound like one), but you might want to take a look and re-establish your priorities. If you are using hockey season and watching games as an excuse to not improve your exercise regimen, you might not be completely motivated to make this lifestyle change at this time (although I commend your choice in teams). I assume you are up north. It's spring! You potentially still have daylight when you get home! It is no longer grey and yucky and freezing cold! Take advantage of it.

However, on another note, the scale might be saying you are gaining because of your sodium fest this weekend. That will happen to me sometimes after kind of a "cheaty" day or couple of days. I drink lots of water to flush it out and usually get back to square one. I agree that you are probably not "starving" if you are living a relatively sedentary lifestyle. I eat a lot of calories (comparatively speaking), but this is because I never cancel my workout appointments. I recently upped my calories to get over a plateau and it worked, but I excercise hard and/or weight train 6 days a week. If it is easier for you to count calories, I say go ahead and do so. But remember that calories are just one part of the picture. I would really recommend making your diary entries as accurate as possible so you can keep track of things like sugar/carbs/protein etc. You might have to do some manual entries but it will be worth it.

Good luck to you! Enjoy your improving weather!

Nope, not a jerk. I asked for opinions and I'm good at taking advice. I really dont think my priorities are messed up though. I only sit down to relax for 1 hour a day. Otherwise, I am working or cleaning up or getting ready for the next day or playing taxi to my son or what not. I am getting out more now with the weather change, just mostly on the weekends.

myfitnessnmhoy

I'd also like to put in a little side note. You're not doing anything "wrong". You've lost 19 pounds as of my typing this. You go, girl!

Plateaus and setbacks are a normal part of a 100-pound weight loss. Take them in stride. A lot of it will probably go away quickly (if if hasn't already) due to sodium gain (lots of sodium will cause your body to retain water, you wash that out by drinking an extra glass or two of water for a couple of days).

But they are a good time to re-evaluate how the process has gone to date, and see if you want to make some adjustments. I've been on a lot of plateaus, and they aren't any fun, but they are part of the process as your body adjusts to its new smaller size. This is the hard part, but if you can bust your first couple of plateaus they'll become part of the routine.

Some good sweaty workouts are always a good plateau-buster and get your metabolism up and going again. The "exercise high" is also good for your self-esteem (I know when I get down in the dumps about stuff, I start eating - so the exercise serves double duty for me - I burn off calories AND don't feel the need for as many of them).

But understand that sometimes your body reaches a point where it wants to retain weight for a little while. Don't panic, don't get impatient, don't let it get you down, and understand that if you stick with it the plateau will eventually shatter and you'll start drifting downward again.

And you've lost 19 pounds so far. That's an excellent thing. Mentally reward yourself for that while you work through the plateau. Grab a 20-pound bag of something and carry it around for a while, thinking "THIS IS NOT ME ANY MORE!!!!"

And remember that in your daily life, you are NOT carrying around that 20 pounds any more, so you'll have to compensate for that in exercise.

Be strong. You've made excellent progress so far. You've proven you can do it. The rest is all discipline.