Would you apologize?

JanieJack

The first week of Jan, I came in after hours and saw that some kid finger painted (with yogurt) on her desk. Hand prints were too small to be my son, so I figured it was one of my boss's kid's. I was still gonna clean it (so no bugs would attack her desk over the weekend), but got absorbed in my work and forgot to loop back around to her desk. I honestly forgot all about it until a week or two ago when I found out from a mutual friend that my coworker was extremely angry with me. Yesterday I casually discussed kids at work with my boss, and discovered they hadn't been near the office since thanksgiving.

So this had to be my son (no one could have pulled a prank, as it's a secure office and we're the only ones who have access).

A friend thinks I should apologize. I think a) it's been too long and b) the relationship with my coworker was already cooling off because I had a falling out with two of her good friends about the same time(probably a greater cause of her irritation with me).

What do you think?

Johnnyswife

Apologise. Its the right thing to do if your son was the yogert artist.

johnlatv

i say yes apologize..

Jacwhite22

I would apologize but that's me. Not a huge deal either way.....but Id be pissed if someone elses kid "painted" my desk with yogurt and they didn't acknowledge it. Once you apologize you've done the right thing and it's not on you anymore.

BIGJIMMYU

Absolutely. Your kid's representative. Kid's will be kids. Don't cry over spilled yogurt! Easy apology.

d0gma

Definitely apologize. Regardless of the current situation of your relationship, if it was your son, the apology needs to come from you (or your son).

rossi02

I think you should have your child apologize and then you do the same. Even if you two were drifting apart, I think it's the right thing to do and teaches your child a valuable lesson. That way, if there is any friction between you and your co-worker going forward, you will know that you did the right thing.

wellbert

Son should apologize.

hbrittingham

Yes, you should apologize.

love2cycle

I think you should have your child apologize and then you do the same. Even if you two were drifting apart, I think it's the right thing to do and teaches your child a valuable lesson. That way, if there is any friction between you and your co-worker going forward, you will know that you did the right thing.

I agree! Apologizing will make you feel better, and how your co-worker accepts the apology is up to her.

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SinIsIn

I wouldn't.

morganhccstudent724

I feel like if you have to ask....you probably should. :flowerforyou:

DavetheHYNIC

As per your a lady and women try to do the right thing on a regular basis you should. But I'm a man and I never think I'm wrong or apologize for anything so I would actually resent her and somehow blame her. I mean why did she leave a desk where a kid would want to play on it?

Cameron_1969

Pass a rumor that you are mad at her for not thanking you for the yogurt.

badgerbadger1

I can't believe you even have to think about this.

JanieJack

I can't believe you even have to think about this.

Why not just offer a helpful opinion? As a physics geek who works mostly with men, I sometimes do poorly at interpersonal stuff, especially the rare times “normal” women are involved… this woman is not a techie type, she’s more of a regular girly girl… so I love getting other’s thoughts on situations like this

JanieJack

Id be pissed if someone elses kid "painted" my desk with yogurt and they didn't acknowledge it.

I would be too... but also I'm the kind of person who would have asked her about it... "Hey, did you know while you were working, your kid painted my desk with yogurt?" I wouldn't let something like that sit for more than a week unless I just decided to drop it.

JanieJack

if you had your son apologize, it wouldn't mean anything to him as he probably doesn't remember doing it. if you apologized now, it would seem obvious that you "heard through the grapevine" that your co-worker was upset.

Here's the funny thing... I am typically the kind of person who will apologize as soon as I find out something’s wrong...or address it with someone if I think they’ve wronged me… because I don’t like that tension. I prefer to get things out in the open and deal with it. Most women aren’t like that. So sometimes when I do that, I actually make things worse.

And I also don’t want to explain how I found out she was upset.

ninerbuff

Apologize. It will be much easier without the tension.

A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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WhittRak

Just apologize, and if she continues to be pissy with you, then just know she is a drama queen.

Natx83

First world problems.

Who cares. It's yoghurt. It wipes off, no big problem. Don't apologise.

SoDamnHungry

I'd apologize since your kid painted on her desk with yogurt. I'd be pissed at you, too.

HotCuppaJo

I would apologize but that's me. Not a huge deal either way.....but Id be pissed if someone elses kid "painted" my desk with yogurt and they didn't acknowledge it. Once you apologize you've done the right thing and it's not on you anymore.

^^^^^^ THIS!!

JanieJack

Thanks for your inputs everyone...I guess the fact that all this time I thought it was someone else's kid doesn't mean anything as long as *she* thinks it was my kid.

I honestly don't feel it was "on me" til ysterday when my boss insisted his kids couldn't have done it.