Can't tell My Mom anything

Wildgirl10
Wildgirl10 Posts: 43
in Health and Weight Loss
She has done every fad diet know to man kind..some that are very dangerous and yet she is looking for that quick loss. I tried to tell her that losing a pound a day is not healthy and won't work for the long run..but she is stubborn. So, she is now doing the Hcg diet and eating 500 cal a day! Won't excersise but thinks this is the ticket..

Geez! The things I read about hcg are pretty scary but yet some people swear by it.

Any tips to talk to someone who is stubborn and looking for a quick fix?

Replies

  • DANCHAN1
    DANCHAN1 Posts: 113 Member
    Unfortunately not. Losing weight is such a difficult thing to do. Your mom will have to come to the realization herself. Nice that you are traying to help though
  • Audddua
    Audddua Posts: 176 Member
    I have no advice for you because I have the same mom! (bump)

    I'm nervous to see her on Sunday because she'll ask about my weight and then when I tell her what I'm doing she'll argue with me and tell me that won't work. :grumble:
  • dirtbikegirl5
    dirtbikegirl5 Posts: 391 Member
    I have heard the same thing about hcg. I have heard you do lose weight but it is a temporary weight loss.

    A lot of people want a quick fix and they don't understand that it does take a lot of hard work to maintain/lose weight. Would your mom be willing to exercise with you? Maybe having a partner would give her the motivation to do things the right way.
  • Speedtrap
    Speedtrap Posts: 216
    Simple solution,
    Don't tell her anything, if she is not going to listen then just don't tell her.
    Just do what you want and when you reach your goal and maintain the weight loss, you can just wait until she comes to you.
    Some people have to find things out for themselves.
  • tbellamy1
    tbellamy1 Posts: 353
    I say be the example you are telling her about. When she gains the weight back from HCG (which she will because I did) and she see you are still dropping and maintaining she will convert.
  • mslindsay
    mslindsay Posts: 93 Member
    Only by those setting an example around her. You could try setting her down and having her read the success stories. Most of them start out with "I lost X amount of weight and I didn't strave myself!" If you do it the heathy way by making habit changes the weight that you lose comes off, and you are able to maintain if you keep those habits.
  • Evelyneh
    Evelyneh Posts: 13
    I know how it feels to have crazy parents. My father won't eat for a week if he's had some popcorn the previous night, and he's almost 6'7" and 200 pounds... Everyone in my family, myself included, has a bit of an eating disorder and a horrible relationship with food. All I can suggest is you do as much research on this diet as possible, research how it "works", and then bombard your mother with the negative side-effects and facts. Actually, I find it kind of funny that as I'm typing this, there's a big "LOSE UP TO 20 LBS EVERY MONTH!"ad by Dr. Bernstein... *sigh*

    If she fails to recognize the danger in her eating, you should jus bring on the puppy-dog eyes and make her know you're super worried about her.

    :) Hope this helps a bit.
  • angeldaae
    angeldaae Posts: 348 Member

    Any tips to talk to someone who is stubborn and looking for a quick fix?

    Don't waste your breath. This is your mother's problem, not yours. If you try to talk her into a "healthier" approach, she will just feel like you are preaching to her. Focus on yourself and mind your own plate.

    Your energy is better spent elsewhere.
  • JBott84
    JBott84 Posts: 268 Member
    My mom always has something negative to counter with when I try to offer advice on ANY subject...How could her 27 year old daughter know something that she doesn't? lol Moms sometimes...:yawn:


    Has she made a profile on here? If she hasn't and she wants you to stop "naggin" her (which you aren't you are trying to help) Tell her that if she makes a profile on MFP then you will slow down on sharing your wisdom, maybe she will read what you have on here and change her mind?


    * To the "it's not your problem people" geez peeps your mom is always your problem, family is family. You should always want to help them out. Especially if it means them being healthy and sticking around longer. It is heartbreaking to lose someone too early because they didn't take care of themselves. I will NEVER stop harassing my mother to stop smoking and to eat healthier. NEVER EVER
  • BruteSquad
    BruteSquad Posts: 373 Member
    Buy her the book, Younger Next Year for Women. If she reads it, it may make an impact. Otherwise all you can do is provide the support you have been trying to by doing for yourself.

    http://www.amazon.com/dp/0761166068/ref=asc_df_07611660681964456?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=asn&creative=395093&creativeASIN=0761166068&hvpos=none&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13792987001330584073&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=

    link to the book^^
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    Let her see your success, all you can do is set a good example.

    Unfortunately, much as we'd all love to be able to admire our parents in all respects, realistically we have to accept that becoming a parent does not prevent a person from being disappointingly gullible.
  • BIGJIMMYU
    BIGJIMMYU Posts: 1,221 Member
    My dad is the same way about smoking. Will not stop. It will b her choice.
  • CapsFan17
    CapsFan17 Posts: 198
    The best advice I can give you is to stop trying. She has to come to that realization on her own. Just keep doing things the healthy way and set the best example you can for her. Give it time and hopefully she will come to you for advice once she sees how well you're doing. :flowerforyou:
  • beccadaniixox
    beccadaniixox Posts: 542 Member
    You can't make her do anything she doesn't want to.

    Just be the best example you can be. My mom used to be big on fad diets. After watching me all summer and how I am now, she finally understand and while she isn't calorie counting she does see that her yo-yoing was bad and is making her diet healthier!
  • Reedern
    Reedern Posts: 525 Member
    It's so great that you are concerned and want to help, but the age old saying plays so true to this.... You can't help anyone that is not willing to help themselves. Keep doing what you know is right and hopefully in the long run, she will see that all your hard work and dedication was worth it and you are a healthier you all the way around because of it! Well done on your part~
  • ConnieB1979
    ConnieB1979 Posts: 239 Member
    I have a friend who is exactly the same, then I have to hear her whine when she gains the weight back and its a never ending cycle of jumping on the bandwagon with every new "diet" that comes along......I have learned to just keep my mouth shut and keep doing what I do, hoping that some day she will learn by my example. It is very frustrating and hard to do that at times though.

    GOOD LUCK
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
    I say be the example you are telling her about. When she sees you are dropping and maintaining she will convert.

    ^This^

    I know she's your mom, and you are worried about her, but you've tried to help her, but now the best help you can be to her is to succeed achieving your goals in a healthy manner so that you can inspire her.
  • DBiddle69
    DBiddle69 Posts: 682 Member
    My mom just joined this site a few weeks ago....just keep informing her about the good you get from the site as well as information via, articles, stories, etc., about the healthy way of doing this lifestyle change and hopefully she will come around to seeing you are doing it the better way.

    Better yet...show her some of the success stories we have on MFP!!
  • juliewalker1
    juliewalker1 Posts: 14
    I strongly agree with what you are saying and suggest you show your mum this as she does not need to do that it is to dangerous. I have been eating 1000 to 1200 Calories a day no exercise as not allowed after op and lost 6lb in 7 days,
  • Alonnea
    Alonnea Posts: 70 Member
    My mom is on the same diet and swears that she'll keep the weight off. I know better just for the fact that she's been doing the fad diets as long as I can remember and she always gains it back. I suggest what everyone else says and just set an example. From what I can tell my mom just doesn't have the strength or will to take off the weight in a healthy way so I just try to voice my concerns but leave it at that.
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    I know how it feels to have crazy parents. My father won't eat for a week if he's had some popcorn the previous night, and he's almost 6'7" and 200 pounds... Everyone in my family, myself included, has a bit of an eating disorder and a horrible relationship with food. All I can suggest is you do as much research on this diet as possible, research how it "works", and then bombard your mother with the negative side-effects and facts. Actually, I find it kind of funny that as I'm typing this, there's a big "LOSE UP TO 20 LBS EVERY MONTH!"ad by Dr. Bernstein... *sigh*

    If she fails to recognize the danger in her eating, you should jus bring on the puppy-dog eyes and make her know you're super worried about her.

    :) Hope this helps a bit.

    EVERYONE knows how it feels to have crazy parents. You'll miss them when they're gone--trust me on this. Don't spoil the time you have with them being critical of their decisions. They must have done something right--they raised you.

    As to the banner ads, they're a pet peeve of mine. MFP locks every thread that even mentions a VLCD (watch how this one will be locked soon) instead of recognizing that allowing people who have experienced these will have a positive influence in discouraging them, but makes money from adsense, which will automatically target you with VLCD ads if you discuss any kind of weight loss. It strikes me as a bit pot-kettley.
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
    Get her to sign up for MFP -- so she can track her calories.

    Eventually, she will lurk & learn on the message boards. After a month or two, you could probably get her to do a 30DS group.

    Education and change come gradually & it's best if she is the driver.

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